Episode 87: Stop Chasing Happiness

Hello everybody. Welcome to today’s episode. I am so excited you are here.

Let’s talk about happiness. Happiness is a choice. Let me say that again. Happiness is a choice. I want to encourage you to stop chasing it. Every time we’re chasing happiness or are in the pursuit of happiness, we are chasing after a dangling carrot that will always be out of reach. Happiness is a choice that can be hard for most people to accept. When you have the ability to choose to be happy in the moment.

And I’m not saying if you’re sad, instantly be happy. That is totally not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is every day, we have a choice. And every day, we can look at our goals, our aspirations, our desires that we are striving for and allow ourselves to be happy in the present moment with what we have. This is called acceptance.

I know for me, and I’ll give you an example of the pursuit of happiness and having this dangling carrot: when I went back to school in my twenties to finish my bachelor’s degree, I thought to myself that I would be happy the moment I graduated and was able to leave the career that I had for another career that I was pursuing. And even once I graduated, and I wasn’t able to get that next career that I was wanting to have from other choices I made, I wasn’t happy. And so I always put this notion or this idea that if I accomplish this next goal, I will be happy.

I think that this is a normal thing for society to do. We are chasing, chasing, chasing. And as we chase, we put the goal slightly out of reach. And when we get there, it doesn’t meet our expectations. You get sad, you get depressed, you get uncomfortable. And then you decide, what’s the next thing that will make me happy? What’s the next thing that will make me happy? What’s the next thing that will make me happy?

And the truth is you. You are the choice that assists in embodying joy, love, happiness. It is a choice that you get to make on a daily basis. And when you choose to be happy, when you choose to live joy in the moment, your life truly starts to change. That does not mean you’re not going to be challenged in your life. That does not mean you don’t have goals. That does not mean that you don’t get uncomfortable. Because guess what? As we grow, as we evolve, we’re going to get uncomfortable. There are going to be desires that come forward for you to pursue and want to pursue.

There are going to be challenges in your life that stretch you and make you grow beyond your wildest imagination. But you can still be happy in the process. You can be happy within the discomfort, knowing that what you’re doing in that particular moment is assisting in creating the future that you truly desire as well. It’s this idea of being present and being in the moment. And this is really hard.

This is a challenging concept for most people to wrap their heads around. But what if it was as simple as this? Today I look at my challenges with love and grace. So I’m going to say that again. Today you have the opportunity to look at your challenges with love and grace. Today you get to choose to have fun. Let me say that again. Today you get to choose to have fun. So I think that sometimes as we’re adulting, we have the tendency to put off fun things. Because when I accomplish this thing, if I pursue my career goals, if I’m constantly working or constantly hustling or constantly striving, I can rest.

I can have fun on vacation, or when I have a day off, or when I die. There’s that saying, “I’ll sleep when I die.” Guess what? Sleep is a very important part of the human experience. Our human bodies need sleep to repair and to replenish ourselves. And it assists in allowing us to feel fulfilled. It assists in allowing us to feel happy. It assists with our mental health, which helps with depression. And so sleeping is really, really important. So this hustle mentality is not good.

We need both action and surrender. So we need that balance of the sacred feminine and the sacred masculine. And when we give ourselves the opportunity to invite fun into our everyday lives throughout the week, not on our day off, and when we acknowledge the fun that we’re having, it allows us to increase our happiness. So, yes, we’re talking about happiness, but fun is included in that.

And fun can be going for a walk or going for a hike or dancing or painting or coloring. It could be chatting with a friend on a phone or reading a really good book. It could be going on a roller coaster ride or taking a trip somewhere. It does not need to be the super extravagant thing that Instagram is showing or social media is showing. We get to have fun throughout our day by choice.

Let me say that again. You get to choose if you want to have fun today. Yes, you. You get to choose. And fun doesn’t have to be this overstimulating thing. It can be as simple as reading a book.

I know for me, fun includes walking. It includes hiking; it includes talking with a friend, going for a coffee, having a sip of tea. It also includes high adventures as well, like going on a trip. It really just depends on what your interests are and what you choose to have fun with. I know for me, I also love taking care of my plants and playing with crystals.

And one of the best things that I choose to have fun with is my daughter. She is sweet and sour. She is a complete toddler. And yes, she can allow me to feel very uncomfortable in certain situations as she’s figuring out her emotions. But we have fun even when we’re having a challenging day or moment, we’re still having fun within that day, and it fluctuates throughout the day.

And so what I want to encourage you to do is make a list of things that bring you joy, that light you up, that make you happy, that you consider fun, and do them on a consistent basis. So if you loved coloring or drawing when you were a kid or a teenager, why aren’t you doing that now? I know my husband’s a big guitar player. He loves playing the guitar. So that, for him, is a way of having fun.

It’s a way of playing. It brings him joy. What brings you joy? What allows you to have fun throughout the day? Don’t wait for that big accomplishment to have fun and to be happy. You get to choose to be happy now. You deserve to be happy if you are in a state of grief for whatever reason. Grief is a complicated thing, and you can go through all these different cycles. But I want to encourage you even while you’re processing this. How can you live your life?

How can you be happy? How can you have fun? How can you allow your life to move forward in a way that allows you to be present with yourself, with your loved ones, and, most importantly, your breath? When we are depressed, when we are sad, when we are in our head and overcomplicating things, we are shallow breathing. We are not allowing the full breath of life to enter into our being and our body.

Breathe deeply because within the breath is peace. And within peace, you can find happiness, and you can find joy.

Alright, my friends, I hope you enjoyed today’s show. Please make sure you like and subscribe. And if you are enjoying today’s episode or have enjoyed other episodes, please make sure you let us know. Leave a comment, leave a review. I would love to hear from you.

All right, have a good day. Bye.