Recognizing Old Outdated Stories You Tell Yourself and How to Overcome Them

Episode 40: Recognizing Old Outdated Stories You Tell Yourself and How to Overcome Them

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Even after we’ve done major transformational work on ourselves, sometimes old stories creep up and bring self-doubt and self-sabotage. Exploring these old thought patterns is key to breaking the chains that keep us stuck.

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RECOGNIZING OLD OUTDATED STORIES YOU TELL YOURSELF AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM

OUTDATED STORIES

I am the type of person who is constantly exploring and asking myself questions about my thoughts, my patterns, and the way I speak to myself. I have learned over the years that being a curious student about myself always leads to amazing growth and is key to traveling down the path to my highest good. I find incredible value in looking at old stories that come up for me to explore and examine.

We all have outdated stories running in our subconscious minds. Sometimes these stories come to the surface for us to explore. Other times, they become deeply embedded beliefs in our system that are hard for us to recognize. I think it's important to be honest about it.

Even after doing major transformational work on ourselves, these outdated stories can crop up and allow us to explore ourselves more deeply. We have to take care of these old patterns and thoughts so that the new person that’s emerging can become rooted and not allow old weeds to choke out the beautiful growth we are experiencing.

We all have outdated stories running in our subconscious minds in some way, shape, or form.

THE SNEAKY SUBCONSCIOUS

As we celebrate and enjoy the work we have done on ourselves, seeing the fruits of our labor come forth, the subconscious mind sometimes likes to pop up with reminders of what we haven’t yet accomplished or what we haven’t yet overcome.

These nagging reminders aren’t totally a negative thing, as our subconscious is a powerful tool to hold memories and thoughts we aren’t currently using. The subconscious mind is a wonderful resource library for exploring as we wish. But, when we pull those memories from the archives of our minds, we may use those to self-sabotage our growth by comparing them to what we still need to heal.

We must learn to look at what comes to the surface with a new lens of possibility rather than defeat. Our old, outdated stories pulled from the dusty files of our subconscious need to be cleaned off and brought up to the new frequency we have elevated ourselves to so we can keep our new self in that high vibrational space. And we do this by curiously exploring those thoughts and not backing away from them.

When you have an outdated story that doesn't match the frequency of the new self, it's tough to keep the new self in that frequency.

ANYTHING REVEALED IS READY TO BE HEALED

I often say to my students, “Anything that’s been revealed is ready to be healed.” So, let’s say you have had a major win. You decided to get healthier, have successfully changed your eating habits, developed a solid exercise routine, and are now enjoying the benefits of making this incredibly positive change in your life. So why now are you thinking about your bad habit of not completing projects? Why do “failures” in your life surface just as you are experiencing success in another area?

Your outdated stories are coming into play. The fears, self-doubt, insecurities, and past traumas are coming to the surface to remind you that while you can succeed at some things, you still haven’t at others. These playback in your mind, stealing your joy and creating self-doubt that can ultimately stunt the growth and progress you’ve made and lead you into self-sabotage mode.

But what if those things were coming to the surface to be healed? If those old stories are coming into your awareness, it can prove that you aren’t that great. Or, it can be a reminder that if you’ve done significant work and succeeded in one area, now you can tackle these old, lingering doubts that have kept you stuck and evolve even more!

Any past belief or outdated story can sabotage your efforts and your continuation towards growth. Don’t let it!

THE WHY GAME

I love to play a game, and it's called the why game. It's similar to a little kid asking many why questions, and I use it to identify outdated beliefs and stories I tell myself.

Let me give you an example. Let's say I get into a disagreement with my partner, and my partner tells me, "You're so defensive." And I reply, "I'm not defensive," which is a defensive response. I have identified that my reaction to being defensive was to be….defensive. Now I want to know why.

  • Why do I feel the need to defend myself? Because what that person said is hurtful.
  • Why is it hurtful? Because I feel I have to explain myself.
  • Why do I feel like I have to always explain myself? Because if I don't, nobody will like me.
  • Why does nobody like me? Why do I have this fear that nobody will like me?

So, I’ll go down the rabbit hole with this line of questioning to find out all I can about my response. With each question I ask myself, I am uncovering more and more about my outdated responses and allowing myself to re-write my story to be more aligned with my current experience.

Keep asking why until you have a self-discovery about those old patterns and beliefs!

REACTING FROM A PAST SELF

Ask yourself why it’s essential to trust the first answer you receive. The reason why it's important to trust the first answer is because it’s the truth within you. Even if the answer comes from outdated stories and not from the person you are today, there’s an aspect of you that still believes that answer is true.

There's something deep within you that feels a certain way, and that's reacting in a certain way and participating in relationships with yourself and others in a certain way. That aspect of yourself is responding and interacting from the past, and it's so outdated that it does not match your current frequency. It's very subconscious, and if you do not look at it and you do not start addressing it, it will sabotage the new self that you have created.

Ask yourself why and let the answer be very intuitive. Give yourself no room to come up with a different answer. The first answer is your truth.

SELF-TALK AND THE CLUES IT HOLDS

Some of the ways that you can catch outdated stories in your languaging is catching whenever you say:

I always…
I never…
I am always…

The statements you start with this languaging are usually a key indicator of something you have decided about yourself in the past. When you look at these statements, you can identify something within you that you want to get curious about, and then you can play the why game.

Let's say you catch yourself saying internally or out loud, "I never feel good enough." Then you can get curious and ask yourself, “Why?”

  • Why do I never feel good enough? Because I feel like I'm always judged.
  • Why do I always feel like I'm judged? Because I was once hurt in the past.
  • How was I hurt in the past? Someone told me I was stupid.
  • Do I feel stupid? Yes.
  • To what degree do I feel stupid? I feel stupid when I make mistakes.
  • How often do I make mistakes?

The why game can start with a why leading to many other questions that help identify deep-rooted beliefs about yourself. While you can consciously recognize you don’t hold those beliefs, you are exploring what your subconscious still believes about yourself from the past. The aspect of yourself that's wounded, that's hurt, that's sad, that had an experience that created a belief, then gets to show up on a subconscious level, and shows up in our languaging, in our subconscious mind, in our daily reactions, until we catch the blind spot.

As adults, sometimes we have wounds and traumas that create belief systems, and our inner child will respond that way.

EDIT AND RE-EDIT

When we can catch the narrative of old stories replaying, we get an opportunity to do a re-edit. It’s essential when it comes to the past, outdated stories we tell ourselves because if we don't re-edit, we keep creating the same reality. If I believe I'm not good enough, I don't want to keep creating that because then I'm just ingraining that into my energy signature that gets sent outwards into the universe.

All that does is invite more of that into my experience and relationships and create a never-ending loop of negativity. So when I have the opportunity to catch myself using the "I'm always, I always, I never" statements, it’s time to re-edit.

Perhaps it doesn’t come from those particular statements, but I'm just noticing something is happening that needs a moment for me to explore it deeper. I try to examine my reactions anytime I am upset with someone or something because sometimes those invoked emotions have to do with outdated stories I'm telling myself.

I want to encourage you to recognize when outdated stories are coming up or get curious about why you're responding in a particular way.

YOU CAN CHANGE THE STORY

The key to changing your story is giving yourself permission to look at the old version and allowing yourself to edit it. You can change the story. I want to encourage you to recognize when outdated stories are coming up or get curious about why you're responding in a particular way.

Play the why game. Ask yourself many why questions until you uncover an old, outdated belief you can evolve. If you have an outdated belief that you are “stupid,” ask yourself where it originates. Give yourself permission to go as far back as you need to for the answer. Then you can face that answer and re-write the reality.

Do your work, do your homework. Get curious about yourself. Study yourself like you would study something you're passionate about because you are worth it. This is your life. You have the opportunity to create a reality that you truly love and desire.

Play the why game. Ask yourself many why questions to get to the root of the outdated belief.

If you enjoyed this episode with Amy Robeson, we would love to invite you to check out other inspirational episodes by clicking here. Enjoy!

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Full transcription of the episode:

Hello everyone. How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. I have been exploring well, I'm always exploring. I'm always exploring habits and patterns and self-talk. And I think it's really important to be really honest with ourselves when it comes to outdated stories. We all have outdated stories running in our subconscious minds in some way, shape, or form. Sometimes these outdated stories come to the surface for us to look at. Other times, they become deeply embedded beliefs in our system that are hard for us to recognize. And when you have an outdated story that you tell yourself over and over again and you do a bunch of work on yourself.

So you do a ton of transformational work. That outdated story if you don't take care of it, you don't nip it in the bud, what's going to happen is it will sabotage the new self that you have newly discovered. Newly developed. Newly transformed into. And when you have an outdated story that doesn't match the frequency of the new self, it's very hard to keep the new self in that frequency. And it's really hard for the new self to develop, create and ingrain newly embedded beliefs that support the new system forward.

Now the new self can emerge from something different that you worked on. That's different, that's completely opposite, maybe not even in a similar vein to the outdated past story that you're telling yourself. So, for example, maybe you recently got really healthy, you've been making really good decisions about the food that you're eating, and you feel good, you feel great. And then now all of a sudden, you are working on something that has to do with feeling like being enough. Well, even though being enough might not relate to taking care of your health, feeling enough and being enough can affect you on an emotional and spiritual level. And that can then sabotage the new self that feels really healthy and feels really good and seals really centered within the body.

This can also happen, let's say if you were working on growing your spiritual gifts and you all of a sudden feel super confident, you're showing up, you're meditating daily, you're feeling really good, but there's this outdated story that you can never complete projects. And so two years go by and all of a sudden, this past self that doesn't like to complete projects, because if you complete projects, XYZ will happen. That past belief, that old outdated story, is going to sabotage your efforts and then sabotage your continuation of meditating and developing your spiritual practices and sticking with your spiritual practices.

And a good way to also look at this too, is have you ever done something that you are so excited about, you had so much enthusiasm about, and then all of a sudden you stopped doing it? The key is why. And the question is always going to be why? I love to play a game and it's called the why game. It's similar to a little kid asking a lot of why questions. And I like identifying outdated beliefs, and outdated stories that I tell myself by playing the why game.

Let me give you an example. So let's say I get into a disagreement with my partner and my partner tells me, "You're so defensive." And I go, "I'm not defensive", which is a defensive response. Not defensive, right? So what I would tell myself is, one, why am I responding with, "I'm not defensive?" And then I would discover I'm trying to defend myself. Why do I feel the need to defend myself? Because what that person said is hurtful. Why is it hurtful? Because I feel I have to explain myself. Why do I feel like I have to always explain myself? Because if I don't, nobody will like me. Why does nobody like me? Why do I have this fear that nobody will like me? And if you'll notice that I'm going down the rabbit hole in response.

And the key with the why game is to allow this response to be very intuitive. Like, giving yourself no judgment, and no room for coming up with a different answer. Trust the answer that first comes up. And the reason why it's important to trust the answer that first comes up is that that is the truth. That's the truth within you. Even if and remember, it's outdated stories, so the person you are today might not believe that system, but there's an aspect of you, there's something deep within you that feels a certain way and that's reacting in a certain way and that's participating in relationship with yourself and others in a certain way. And that aspect of yourself is responding and interacting from the past. And it's so outdated, it does not match your current frequency. But it's very subconscious. And if you do not look at it and you do not start addressing it, it will sabotage the new self that you have created, even if it's on something different that you have worked on.

Some of the ways that you can catch outdated stories in your languaging is catching whenever you say, "I always", "I never," "I am always." These statements, these statements that you start with this languaging, is usually a key indicator of something that you have decided in the past about yourself. And so when you look at I never statements, I am or I always say, you can identify something within you that you want to get curious about, and then you can play the why game. Let's say you catch yourself saying internally or out loud, "I never feel good enough." Then I would get curious like, oh, why do I never feel good enough? Because I feel like I'm always judged. Why do I always feel like I'm judged? Because I was once hurt in the past. How was I hurt in the past? Someone told me I was stupid. Do I feel stupid? Yes. To what degree do I feel stupid? Well, I feel stupid when I make mistakes. How often do I make mistakes?

So you'll notice that the why game can start with a why, and then it can end with other questions as well. And so oftentimes I'll play this game to identify deep-rooted beliefs about myself. And some of these beliefs as an adult, you might go, that's not what I believe. But if you're responding in that way, there's a belief, and it's a subconscious belief that's coming from the past, and that can be your inner child. Now, your inner child doesn't have to be three years old. Your inner child can be from five years ago. As an adult, sometimes we have wounds and traumas within us that create belief systems, and our inner child will respond in that way. And the aspect of yourself that's wounded, that's hurt, that's sad, that had an experience that created a belief, then gets to show up on a subconscious level, and then it shows up in our languaging, in our subconscious mind, in our daily reactions, until we catch the blind spot. Sometimes we even catch the blind spot, and then we continue to do it anyway because this is the narrative that we end up telling ourselves.

And when we can catch the narrative, we get an opportunity to do a re-edit. And that's really important when it comes to the past, outdated stories we tell ourselves. Because if we don't re-edit, we get to keep making the same reality. And to me, if I have the belief that I'm not good enough, I don't want to keep creating that because then I'm just ingraining that into my energy signature that gets sent out into the universe. And that then gets me more of that, more relationships that make me feel that way, more experiences that deeply ingrained that belief into my system so I can keep recreating that. So when I have the opportunity to catch myself noticing, when I say "I'm always, I always, I never" then I have the opportunity to do that reedit. Or it doesn't have to come with those statements, if I'm just noticing something is happening that I could take a moment to explore, maybe that moment is outside of that experience. Maybe it's when I'm sitting with it, then I'll look at it. I'll also ask this question too if I'm upset with someone or something. Because sometimes those emotions that are being invoked within me have to do with outdated stories that I'm telling myself.

So the key is to give yourself permission to look at these outdated stories and also know that you can change them. I want to encourage you to recognize when outdated stories are coming up or get curious about why you're responding in a particular way. Play the why game. Ask yourself a lot of why questions. And then after you're done asking yourself all the why questions, you're going to come to the end of some conclusion. So it might be, "Oh, I was hurt when I was seven years old and that hurt caused me not to feel good enough." So when you get to the end, you're going to come to some conclusion. And that conclusion might be, Where did that come from? So maybe you say, "I feel stupid." That was the last thing you said to yourself after you ask a bunch of why questions. And it feels like, okay, I'm at the end of this.

So do your work, do your homework. Get really curious about yourself. Study yourself like you would study something you're extremely passionate about. Because you should be extremely passionate about yourself. This is your reality. You have the opportunity to create a reality that you truly love and desire.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Make sure you like and subscribe, and please share this with a friend. It really does help grow our community. It helps people that are lonely and feeling in need or would like to explore something new about themselves, and have some support for mental health and their spirit and their spirituality. I hope you have an amazing day.

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