Episode 23: Balance with Self-Love

Hello, everyone. I hope you are doing well. I am being guided strongly, I’m going to underline that word, capitalize that word, STRONGLY, being guided to talk about self-love today. And when I’m talking about self-love, I want you to see what really hits home for you because there’s something in this message that is meant for you to receive today in terms of how you can really love yourself on a deep soul level. So let’s jump in.

All right, so self-love is the very act of taking care of yourself on a deep, deep soul level. It’s trusting yourself. It’s trusting your intuition, it’s trusting your gut. It’s recognizing the self-sabotaging thoughts that you have about yourself. It’s recognizing the negative thoughts that you might have about yourself and not going into a spiral with them.

Not going into a spiral with them is really important because when we go into a spiral with them, it causes us to be unbalanced. And when we’re unbalanced, we make different decisions that are not in alignment with us because we’re doing it from a place of, and I’m going to put this into quotations, and I know this is not technically the correct grammar, but this is how I say this: “unwellness.”

It creates this unwell feeling inside. And when you feel unwell, you start to comfort yourself through different mechanisms along the way that you have found comfort in the past, that allows you to feel safe or allows you to feel good or allows you to feel as if you can cope with what it is that’s going on in the inside.

When you feel unwell, you start to comfort yourself through different mechanisms along the way that you have found comfort in the past, that allows you to feel safe or allows you to feel good or allows you to feel as if you can cope with what it is that’s going on in the inside.

And when we’re unbalanced, these coping mechanisms actually cause more unbalance. And so the more that we actually lean into the very concept of how can I love myself today? How can I love myself in this particular moment? We all make mistakes. We say things we don’t mean, or we do things that we didn’t intend on doing and it could possibly hurt someone, or we end up saying something that was kind of silly to say, but we already said it. And then we dwell on how we said it and how we should have said it differently.

There’s all sorts of things that we can do throughout the day that we can overanalyze to the point that makes us not feel good, that stresses us out and also causes us not to love ourselves unconditionally on a deep soul level. So the very act of self-love is trusting yourself, is forgiving yourself for mistakes. It’s also to be able to look at those mistakes with a lot of love, a lot of compassion, and to give yourself that love and compassion as well. And to forgive yourself on all of the things that you might have done that you didn’t necessarily want to do for the day or the mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

So many people are living from past mistakes in this very moment and they don’t feel that they can actually get out of those past mistakes. I’m here to tell you that your past is your past. And if you allow your ego to move up to the present moment, you can allow yourself to free yourself from the past. The past is the past. Please forgive yourself. Please invite your ego up to the present moment so your ego can start participating in the present moment because the way that you view the future in this very moment is what you’re going to continue to create in the future.

And so if you are sitting there dwelling on the past and dwelling on how you made a mistake or how things are unfair or how you are poorly mistreated, whatever it is, whatever it is that’s causing you to live in the past, you have to get very honest with yourself and go, how can I love myself on the next level? How can I give myself so much self-love that we can break free from the past and start creating the reality that I truly want to create? And that starts with trust, that starts with honesty, that starts with forgiveness. And it’s coming back to those three ingredients is going to be key in creating the self-love that you can encompass yourself in daily.

The more that you ask yourself like, how can I give myself love today? How can I break free from these chains? The more you’re going to start going like, whew, I actually can see a solution to the problem. I can actually see that I’m creating the problem myself. Half the time, you might not know the answer immediately, but if you give yourself permission to just get curious about what’s going on during the day and how you’re choosing to react to those things, the more that you’ll actually start to see how you’re playing into some of the self-sabotaging or unworthiness or unworthiness behaviors that are creating your reality.

Another thing that will assist you in creating a lot of self-love for yourself is, one, having the ability to tell yourself, I love you. Two, setting very healthy boundaries. Sometimes we get into this cycle of unwellness because we are unbalanced. And when we get unbalanced, we start doing things that we don’t necessarily want to do. And then it creates a cycle where you’re constantly breaking boundaries. Breaking boundaries with yourself, breaking boundaries with your values, breaking boundaries with your self-worth or your energy.

We only have so much energy in the day, and if we’re giving, giving, giving and giving and never giving back and never receiving, it’s going to get really unhealthy really, really quick. And so we have to create really healthy boundaries and that’s boundaries with ourselves as well. I think that sometimes people think it’s creating really healthy boundaries with other people. Yes, we do have to create really healthy boundaries with other people.

But for me, like my human design, I’m a generator. I’m an Energizer Bunny. I can go, go, go, go, go and I can create, create, create, create. And if I don’t create a boundary with myself on where my energy level is at and where my team is at, or where my ability to create in that particular moment or the amount of work it’s going to take, I can burn myself out really quick. And so I have to have boundaries with myself and what I’m willing to create and what has to go on the back burner as well. Because I think that just because you can do it doesn’t mean that you should be doing it.

Also, just because you are excited about it, doesn’t mean it’s also the right time to do it as well. Sometimes things need to percolate. Sometimes we need to put it on the back burner. Sometimes we got to let go of other things in order to allow that other thing to give birth as well. And so boundaries are going to be really important too.

The next part I want to talk about is forgiveness. So the act of self-love means that you can take care of yourself on a deep soul level and also means that you can forgive yourself for past transgressions. You can forgive yourself for past decisions. You can forgive yourself when it feels impossible to do. I know for me, I have made many mistakes in my life and some of those mistakes are gut-wrenching mistakes. Mistakes that have taken me a long, long, long, long time to forgive.

And it’s a forgiveness process. It doesn’t mean that you make a mistake and that immediately afterward you’re like, okay, I forgive myself. No, if you are really grieving what happened or you feel really bad for what happened, it might take some time for you to forgive yourself. Especially as you’re working through the emotions of whatever it is that you’re forgiving yourself about.

I have found though when you do forgive yourself, that unwellness that’s been created in your energy field starts to dissipate. And the feelings that are attached to that very situation, that were stuck within the cells, that were causing dis-ease within the body and the mind and the spirit start to loosen up and start to transmute and start to get cleared so that balance is restored within you.

But forgiveness is the process in that. And I think that often times some people are so afraid to forgive because that means that they one, have to admit that they did something wrong or if they’re forgiving someone else, they can’t see why they should have to forgive that person if that person has caused them so much hurt. And trust me, I have been hurt by others in the past and it has stung and it has hurt. But the only person that’s hurting is me if I don’t forgive them. Because I am not allowing more peace into my mind. I am not allowing more peace into my cells. I am not allowing more joy into my body.

And so the very act of forgiving someone else as well as myself invites more joy and invites more love and invites more light into my being. Because I’m not holding space for resentment, for guilt or shame or anger or frustration. That does not mean that once I say I forgive you, there’s no more work to be done either. Because when we are on the very act of forgiving someone or forgiving ourselves, it’s also a layer process in working through that forgiveness. And you might hit one layer and then all of a sudden you realize there’s another layer to look at.

I know for me I have been working on healing and forgiving my relationship with my stepdad for all of my adult life. And it is probably something that I will continue to work on for a very, very, very, very long time. Because as I’m doing it, I’ll find forgiveness and then something else is revealed for me to look at, to heal. And then I realize, okay, I need to look at this, I need to participate with this, I need to heal this and then I can start the next layer of forgiveness. But sometimes I have to take a step back from it as well because if I’m only sitting there focusing on I got to work on this deep heavy stuff, work on this deep heavy stuff that gets really heavy too. And then I’m not actually taking care of myself in a loving kind way too.

And so like I said in the beginning, we want to find balance. Self-love allows us to start participating in loving ourselves on a deep level and allows us to find balance and allows us to root and ground as well. Because we’re trusting ourselves, we’re forgiving ourselves, we’re setting healthy boundaries. We’re also giving ourselves love. It’s so important to give yourself love on a daily basis. Not on an hourly basis, not on a bi-weekly basis. It’s on a daily basis. And when I say hourly, I mean it’s an all-day thing. You should be able to love yourself all day long for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And I want to encourage you to be true to yourself, to be nice to yourself, to be kind to yourself. Because these are also going to play into the very act of you loving yourself on a deep soul level. Anyways, I hope that there’s a part of this message that hits home for you. And I hope that today you catch yourself in a moment where you can give yourself more love than you thought you could the day before.

Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Give yourself grace. Give yourself compassion. You deserve it. Love you all. Have a nice day. See you soon.

Bye.