In this episode, I speak with Rocio Aquino and Angel Orengo, authors of "The Orchid, The Secret Code of Modern Goddesses." We discuss their blend of fiction and self-help, inspired by Rocio's spiritual journey, and the themes of forgiveness and self-love. They also share how their daughters contributed to the book and their plans to adapt it into a TV show.
As Sacred Awakening students, Rocio Aquino and Angel Orengo have brought their shared passion for spirituality into the creative realm by writing an extraordinary fiction book titled The Orchid, The Secret Code of Modern Goddesses.
This spiritually infused story offers a mind-blowing experience, with captivating characters that reflect the depth of their spiritual exploration.
Rocio and Angel’s journey to bring this book to life is a true collaboration.
Their professional backgrounds in TV, marketing, advertising, and entrepreneurship shine through in the intricate development of the novel’s characters and its rich narrative.
Together, they’ve crafted a book that beautifully weaves spiritual themes into an engaging, fictional storyline, offering readers a unique and transformative experience.
Their diverse backgrounds and unique journeys toward healing create a beautiful tapestry of experiences that we delve into.
One of the highlights of our discussion revolves around our children—Rocio and Angel share their joys and challenges raising two teenage daughters, while I reflect on my experiences with my toddler.
It’s fascinating to see how our parenting approaches differ, yet there’s a universal connection in navigating the stages of childhood, from the carefree toddler years to the complexities of teenage life.
Their book, The Orchid, is available in both audio and print formats on platforms like Amazon.
If you’re looking for a self-help fiction book, this one is a must-read.
The characters are not only well-crafted but also relatable; I found pieces of myself and my clients in each of them.
Rocio and Angel have brilliantly brought forth their pain stories, revealing the roots of our challenges through engaging narratives.
The exercises embedded within the book offer valuable tools for personal growth, encouraging readers to reflect and engage with their own healing journeys.
I vividly remember the moment I first encountered Rocio and Angel at the Conscious Life Expo in February in LA.
As soon as I laid eyes on Rocio, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous and felt an immediate desire to connect with her and become friends.
It was intriguing how quickly that connection formed between us.
Rocio later shared that she felt the same way upon seeing me—there was something about the light I radiated that drew her in. It’s moments like these that remind us of the magic that can happen when souls resonate with one another.
I love it when souls recognize each other; it creates such a beautiful connection.
Moving on to the exciting project that Rocio and Angel have been working on, I learned that they recently finished their book titled The Orchid.
It’s a work of fiction, yet it touches on real-life issues that people face.
Rocio and Angel explained that while the book features fictional characters, it is deeply rooted in their experiences and those of others around them.
They felt a strong inspiration to write something meaningful, sharing the insights they’ve gained through their journeys.
The decision to craft a story rather than a straightforward self-help book came from a desire to present their messages in a more engaging way, allowing readers to relate to the characters’ challenges.
I found their approach to be incredibly clever.
As someone who enjoys self-help literature, I sometimes feel burnt out by traditional formats, so the blend of fiction and self-help in The Orchid really resonated with me.
It beautifully intertwines self-help teachings within a captivating narrative.
I highly recommend exploring their book, which is subtitled “The Secret Code of Modern Goddesses.”
When I seek an escape to a different mindset or a new world, fiction is often my go-to, and this book masterfully combines both of my passions.
I was eager to hear more about their writing process as a couple and how they brought this project to life together.
Rocio described her journey as a transformative experience filled with magic—the kind of magic that enables one to change from one state to another.
She noted how their distinct energies complemented each other in their creative process.
Rocio’s energy is ethereal and feminine, while Angel embodies a grounded, earthy presence.
Together, they crafted a story that blends elements of the real world with transformative magic, allowing readers to witness the characters’ doubts, suffering, and ultimately, their hope.
Rocio highlighted the unique perspective that their characters provide, offering insights into thoughts and emotions that even she, as a teacher, had never fully considered.
While Angel was further along in his spiritual journey, Rocio faced her own struggles, navigating challenges that often felt like a roller coaster.
Angel reflected on her journey, noting that she had always been somewhat spiritually aware, even if she didn’t fully recognize it at the time.
She lived by various pieces of wisdom, including the idea that life is 90% what happens and 10% how we react.
While she applied these principles throughout her life, it wasn’t until she and Rocio embarked on a spiritual journey of introspection that she began to grasp their deeper meaning.
As she observed Rocio’s transformation, Angel was blown away by the depth of understanding Rocio brought to each experience.
Through Rocio’s journey, Angel found herself growing and gaining insights into her own life.
Their collaboration became a beautiful dance, inspiring them to capture these transformative experiences.
Rocio would often attend retreats, engaging with healers, crystals, or sound baths, and she would return with rich details about her experiences that fueled their writing.
This process illuminated the importance of documenting their profound insights.
Initially, their focus was on Rocio’s story, but as they progressed, they recognized the opportunity to explore a wider narrative.
Throughout their writing journey, Rocio experienced numerous dreams that helped fine-tune the direction of their book.
One day, she shared her revelation that the story needed to center around women.
Within moments, Angel realized the truth in this idea, and everything began to fall into place.
They decided to weave together the stories of multiple women, emphasizing the complexity of human experiences.
Ultimately, their narrative followed six women, though it primarily focused on five specific characters, each representing different facets of the shared human journey.
Angel described the collaborative process of working together as a rewarding experience, highlighting their mutual understanding and how well they complement each other.
While challenges have arisen, the clarity and trust they share have made a significant difference in their partnership.
Rocio added that they have profound respect.
She shared that during discussions, there were times when they held differing viewpoints.
In those moments, she would find new words and techniques to convey her perspective, leading Angel to eventually see things from her point of view.
This dynamic exemplified the ongoing dance they had engaged in for the last 24 years.
I couldn’t help but express my amazement at the duration of their partnership, curious to know just how long they had been together or married.
Angel shared that they had been together for 24 years, with 22 of those years spent married.
She revealed that their relationship began in a professional environment in sales, providing a strong foundation for their connection.
When they embarked on their current journey, it felt seamless.
They had fallen in love while giving presentations to clients, often finishing each other’s thoughts as if they had been collaborating for years.
I found this synergy fascinating and expressed my admiration for their long-lasting partnership.
The conversation turned to the inspiration behind their book, which was deeply rooted in Rocio’s awakening journey.
Angel explained that the characters in the book reflected a variety of struggles, allowing readers to relate to their own experiences or those of clients they had worked with.
What resonated with me was how they addressed the fear of being persecuted for religious beliefs and upbringing, a theme that many can relate to—especially those who have come from strict or Catholic backgrounds.
Angel’s acknowledgment of this fear and its inclusion in the narrative added depth and relevance to their story.
Angel emphasized that a core intention behind their book was to ensure clarity: it was not meant to oppose any beliefs.
They wanted readers from all religions to feel represented and to understand the unity in their experiences.
Every version of the book was meticulously reviewed for judgmental language, with words that could be perceived as critical consciously removed.
This process was driven by the love they felt while creating it and witnessing its evolution was a wonderful experience for them.
Rocio shared that part of their journey involved taking acting classes to help embody the characters they were writing about.
She recounted a profound personal experience where she encountered a panic attack for the first time.
Describing the intensity of that moment allowed her to convey the suffering of someone who feels overwhelmed and trapped.
The aim was to provide readers with tools to navigate their own challenges, emphasizing that even in the midst of a difficult time, they could find ways to regain control, such as through mindful breathing.
Rocio reflected on how enlightening it has been for them to understand their own identities while also being able to help others through the insights shared in their book.
As they began writing, both Angel and Rocio felt a profound sense of growth and understanding, realizing the depth of their experiences.
They approached the book with humility, viewing it as a culmination of their journey—a thesis of sorts, representing their graduation into a new phase of understanding.
There were moments during the writing process that brought them to tears, reflecting the raw emotions and gut-wrenching experiences embedded within the narrative.
The emotional impact resonated with me as well. I like how the book captured the real and raw aspects of the awakening journey, emphasizing the necessity of processing trauma rather than running from it.
Having facilitated my own live retreats, I spoke to the transformative power of stepping outside familiar environments, allowing individuals to confront their inner challenges.
I praised Angel and Rocio for their skillful storytelling, expressing her deep appreciation for the book’s ability to evoke such powerful emotions.
In a heartfelt moment, Angel expressed gratitude for the courses she had taken, highlighting the love and care that were extended to everyone in the group.
This nurturing environment allowed participants to experience profound transformations, which was an ethos they aimed to capture in The Orchid.
He emphasized that the book serves as a loving space, encouraging readers to delve deep into their emotions—even the darker ones—to cleanse and heal.
With curiosity, I asked them who is their favorite or most relatable character in the book.
Rocio eagerly shared that she resonated with Sophia, recalling how she felt a connection to her humor and cynicism.
At the beginning of the story, Sophia embodies a transformative journey, filled with both laughter and darkness.
Rocio appreciated how Sophia confronts her challenges with determination, realizing that self-care is vital because no one else will come to rescue her.
Rocio found it enriching to witness Sophia’s evolution from a business-focused mindset to one of broader understanding, realizing the importance of contributing positively to the world.
However, she playfully likened her attachment to the characters to a mother’s love for her children, admitting that each character holds a special place in her heart, reflecting different aspects of herself.
It became clear that transformation was a significant theme for Rocío.
She reflected on her journey, sharing how, in the beginning, she resonated deeply with the character Sophia.
At the start, she connected with Sophia, but as time passed, she found herself feeling more like Mary.
This transition illustrated her ongoing process of transformation, highlighting the profound changes she had experienced throughout her journey.
Angel expressed that he could find a piece of himself in every character as well.
He shared that he felt he had become more like Mary, who embodied the journey toward complete neutrality and love.
For him, this journey was not only a personal aspiration but also a hope he held for everyone who engaged with their work.
The idea of Mary represented an ongoing quest for understanding and compassion, something that resonated deeply with both of them and their shared mission.
He experienced sexual abuse when he was a child, so he identified with one of the characters who experienced sexual abuse.
He didn’t have the benefit of a father figure in his life, which led him to identify strongly with Olivia, a character who also faced challenges in her relationship with her dad.
Growing up in a single-parent home, divorce was a constant presence in his life.
Each character in the story represented a part of their own journeys, making the narrative incredibly real, valuable, and rich.
For Angel, the process of writing allowed him to delve deep into his own emotions, uncovering the layers of these characters.
They had always been a part of him and Rocio; they merely took on different faces and names through their storytelling.
I truly appreciate how writing about reading books allows us to delve into different worlds and gain insights into our own.
Reflecting on my life, I have faced significant challenges such as sexual abuse, divorce, and alcoholism.
Despite the book’s focus being primarily on women, I believe it resonates with everyone, regardless of gender, providing relatable experiences through its characters.
What stands out to me most is the step-by-step guide included in the book for embarking on a personal retreat.
It lays out what the journey can look like, highlighting that if one is willing to do the work, a happier, more fulfilling future is achievable.
This guidance serves as a reminder that our happily ever after is within reach if we are committed to our personal growth and healing.
Angel’s insights are particularly compelling. He spoke about the tools available to us, emphasizing that when we start using them, we can take one approach one day and a different one another day.
Ultimately, he conveyed that we are not uniquely special; everyone experiences lows and heaviness in their lives.
The book attempts to illustrate that by turning inward and investing in ourselves, we can genuinely transform our lives.
Angel shared a poignant personal experience, noting that he witnessed his mother succumb to sadness and depression despite being an extraordinary person.
She lacked belief in herself and the tools necessary for change. His message was clear: it’s crucial to reach out, especially during dark times.
He urged anyone struggling to pick up a book or a resource that resonates with them, reinforcing that they are not alone. Understanding this can shift one’s perspective on life.
Angel reflected on how various men in his life have responded to the book.
He mentioned that some of his friends have been open to it and have even enjoyed it, with one friend noting that he didn’t even realize it was primarily about women; he found it relatable to his own experiences.
However, there are others who haven’t opened the book due to its cover and color.
Angel emphasized that we all possess both masculine and feminine energies within us.
The journey is about finding the balance between these energies.
Some days require us to be assertive and pursue our goals, while others call for nurturing and kindness.
This balance is what can guide us on new paths.
I echoed his thoughts, saying that it’s a beautiful time of awakening, not just for women or men, but for all of us collectively.
I recalled how my guides had advised me at the start of my business to avoid excluding men, as they have important contributions to make.
While women are currently significant change-makers, it’s crucial that we include men in these discussions.
As we navigate this change, our nervous systems take time to adapt, and our primal instincts may also need that time.
Recognizing and embracing both masculine and feminine qualities is essential for us to achieve anything meaningful.
If we solely lean into our feminine energy, we might struggle to take action, while an overemphasis on masculine energy can hinder compassion and receptivity.
To any men listening, I want to reassure you that this book offers valuable insights for you too.
It’s available on both Audible and Amazon and yes, it’s published in both English and Spanish.
Angel mentioned that they chose to work with a professional for the audiobook to ensure that listeners can fully immerse themselves in the journey.
He shared that given their diverse backgrounds—his Puerto Rican roots and Rocío’s Mexican heritage—they felt it was essential to have the book available in Spanish.
Interestingly, they initially wrote it in English because that was where he felt most comfortable.
Once they finished that version, they transitioned to writing it in Spanish, which offered them a different experience.
Angel noted that language is personal, and they found unique expressions in Spanish that prompted them to revise certain parts of the English version, resulting in a beautiful interplay between their two cultures and languages.
I found that fascinating, especially since different languages can convey ideas in distinct ways.
I appreciated how they started with what they were comfortable with and then expanded into the other language, allowing for revisions that enhanced both versions.
Curious about their writing process, I asked what their writing style was like.
Angel explained that they experienced both ends of the spectrum; their journey took two years, filled with periods of intense inspiration and times when they had to sit down and write diligently.
They also reviewed their work collaboratively, considering elements like characters and settings.
He mentioned they even created a map to visualize the various characters and locations, comparing their process to developing a TV show, where they established a writer’s room to brainstorm and create.
He elaborated on their journey, revealing that their goal was to leverage their experience in entertainment to share their insights with the world.
The project began when Rocío woke up one morning with a vision for a TV show, expressing a desire to share their experiences and the tools they were learning.
They recognized that much of the television content available was often low-energy and wanted to contribute to a more uplifting trend.
Initially, Angel was concerned that entertainment professionals might not embrace their idea.
So, they decided to write a book as a means of validation.
They believed that if it changed even one life, it would be worth it, but if it resonated with a million people, they could take it to production houses and make a more significant impact.
I appreciated Angel’s perspective on conversation, highlighting how important it is for messages to be delivered without interruption.
He mentioned the challenge of engaging in conversations, especially with distractions—like his experience with a three-year-old—leading to thoughts getting lost.
Their goal was to create a book that facilitated uninterrupted dialogue, allowing readers to fully appreciate the journey of self-discovery.
He described “The Orchid” as a retreat experience, where readers could engage in self-love and personal transformation, even if they lacked the resources or time for an actual retreat.
I chimed in, expressing my wish that such a retreat space existed because it sounded like a perfect getaway for self-care and reflection.
I also asked Angel if they still hoped to bring the TV show idea to life.
He affirmed that they did, emphasizing the importance of telling stories in various forms and the ambition to create a platform for sharing many beautiful stories from others as well.
I highlighted the exciting potential for more conscious networks to emerge in the next decade, where uplifting content similar to a spiritual Hallmark could inspire change.
I emphasized the transformative power of inspiration, noting that when people feel inspired, they are motivated to take action toward creating the lives they truly want.
Rocío shared her thoughts on the beauty of witnessing people overcome challenges and engage in meaningful conversations that ignite change.
She reflected on her experiences in Mexico, where she observed dramatic behaviors that many considered authentic.
Her message was clear: change is not reserved for those in fancy schools; it exists within all of us.
She expressed the importance of nurturing those around us and fostering supportive conversations.
Angel added to this by discussing the underlying messages in their book, stressing the idea that change is possible.
He pointed out that the beliefs we think are unchangeable can indeed be transformed.
He shared how this idea resonates with their family, mentioning their daughters and even his 75-year-old mother, who is undergoing her own transformation.
The notion of “Change yourself, change the world” became a central theme in their conversation, emphasizing that personal change can ripple out to impact marriages, relationships, families, and communities.
I loved their perspective on personal transformation and how it can lead to broader societal change.
I then asked Angel and Rocío what advice they would give to someone whose partner isn’t willing to do the work while they are actively pursuing their growth.
I knew they had experience as couple therapists, and I was eager to hear their insights on this challenging dynamic.
I find it fascinating how our conversations often begin with curiosity.
Rocio was talking about the importance of discussing what we want to experience in life.
They recalled a time when they were eager to make some big changes, while Angel, unsure of the process, questioned what they were doing.
Rocio felt certain that these changes would lead to something better for both of them.
They encouraged Angel to give it a try, trusting that curiosity would eventually guide them toward growth.
That curiosity really does open doors. I reflected on how we used to live in different parts of the world, noticing how people acted differently based on where they were, which shaped their unique perspectives.
This idea of curiosity shaping us even made its way into their book, particularly when they explored the concept of limiting beliefs.
Who we are and what we believe is often shaped by the environment and culture we were raised in.
I began to think that if the three of us had been born in a different place, we would probably see the world in completely different ways.
It’s amazing how being open to new experiences can lead to shifts in mindset.
I’ve realized that curiosity not only expands our perspective but also enables us to change what no longer serves us.
Angel spoke about the importance of letting go, and I reflected on how this ties into forgiveness.
Rocio shared a personal experience where they had carried a lot of suffering and were weighed down by the past.
They had observed someone who seemed completely happy and wondered how that could be possible.
Over time, Rocio realized that happiness was attainable, and they became eager to learn and adopt a different way of thinking.
The limiting beliefs they once held—thinking change wasn’t possible—began to fade.
Angel often emphasizes the importance of radical responsibility, a concept that deeply resonates with me.
I love the idea of radical responsibility, where we take ownership of our thoughts, actions, and beliefs. It empowers us to make transformative changes in our lives.
Rocio and I were talking about how, in our culture, we’re often conditioned to blame others for everything that happens to us. It’s almost second nature, something we’ve grown accustomed to over time.
They shared how, when they first started reading about the idea that we are responsible for everything that happens around us, it completely shifted their perspective.
It opened up a new way of seeing how they were behaving in the world.
At first, they applied this to small things, and one example that resonated with them was from the film The Matrix.
In the beginning, the bullets hit the protagonist, but by the end, he simply stops the bullets with his hand.
Rocio likened this to how, as we grow stronger and more grounded inside, when we love ourselves and forgive ourselves for past mistakes, the external world affects us less.
Words don’t hurt us, but the meaning we attach to them can.
They emphasized that, if you want to save a relationship, the key is to work deeply on yourself first.
When you change from within, it often sparks a change in the other person.
Love’s power is limitless, but it has to start from within.
I agreed, noting how when you begin to show up for yourself, it gives your partner the chance to do the same.
If they don’t, then at least you have clarity on where things stand. It’s also important to remember that everyone’s path is different.
So often, our culture pushes the idea that there’s only one way to do things, but that’s not true at all.
I reflected on my own experience—when my husband first started meditating, he was excited about some books he had found, books that I thought were too basic.
But it didn’t matter what I thought; the fact that he was doing it was all that counted.
It’s okay if your journey looks different from your partner’s.
Even if you attend the same workshop together, each of you will have completely different experiences because of your own inner worlds.
It’s also important to recognize that what one person finds life-changing could be deeply triggering for another.
That’s why Rocio and Angel included a story in their book about a participant at a retreat who left early because they weren’t ready to confront certain personal issues.
That’s a perfectly normal response, Rocio explained.
They mentioned how some people will say they’re fine or content, even though deep down they know they aren’t ready to face their inner struggles.
It’s as if they’d rather stay in a comfortable state of denial.
Rocio made a great point about how some people, even unconsciously, might not be ready to face certain things.
They explained that sometimes it’s not just a conscious choice to avoid inner work—it’s more of a deep, unaware resistance.
Rocio and Angel made sure to include this in their book.
They wanted to send the message that it’s okay if someone isn’t ready to confront those parts of themselves.
The door is always open when they’re ready, and there’s support waiting for them when they decide to come back.
I couldn’t help but think about my own experience hosting live retreats.
This kind of resistance happens not only with in-person events but even with online programs.
But I’ve seen it most clearly with retreats.
About a week or two before an event, people’s stuff starts to come up.
I’ve had participants tell me they’re unsure if they can attend, and I’ve come to recognize this as part of the process.
It’s almost like their subconscious knows something big is about to happen, and their inner child, ego, or mental body starts resisting because they know that big change requires facing certain uncomfortable truths.
They start spiraling, trying to rationalize why they shouldn’t come.
Every single time, I know this is going to happen.
I always tell people: you have to be willing to work on whatever comes up.
You need to reassure those parts of yourself that are scared of change that they’re safe.
And if you choose not to come, that’s fine too—it’s just part of your journey.
But big things always happen when you show up for yourself, whether it’s a short workshop, a multi-day retreat, or even just an hour-long session.
Rocio added that they included empty pages in their book for the reader to jot down their thoughts if they needed to.
They felt it was important to give people the space to process what they were reading, especially since diving deep within ourselves can bring up intense memories or emotions from the more challenging times in life.
Rocio emphasized the need to be gentle with ourselves during these moments of reflection.
I wholeheartedly agreed.
The journey inward can be tough, but it’s essential to be kind and patient with ourselves as we navigate these experiences.
As the conversation shifted, Rocio brought up an important reminder—not to take the healing process too seriously.
They shared that the intense emotions and experiences we encounter while doing inner work will eventually pass.
Rocio reflected on how, once they could actually see their emotional triggers, they could take away the power those triggers had over them.
They described it in a vivid metaphor, comparing themselves to a porcupine with many needles, each representing a different emotional wound.
One by one, they began to remove those “needles.”
At first, it was an excruciating process—Rocio recalled crying through much of it.
But over time, as they became more practiced at this inner work, they reached a point where they could remove these emotional blocks without the tears.
Rocio realized that healing doesn’t always have to be heavy and painful; it can be more positive and uplifting.
Laughing, too, can be healing, as long as the intention behind it is to lighten the burden and find joy in the process.
I agreed, drawing on the same porcupine analogy.
A porcupine can be safely petted when it’s relaxed; it’s not always about removing the needles, but rather about finding ways to self-regulate.
It’s about learning how to calm ourselves down, to be in a state where we can deal with the hard stuff without being overwhelmed.
That’s when real healing can take place.
Rocio then shared a profound saying they had come across: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
This idea resonated deeply.
They explained that while pain is a natural part of being human, suffering stems from our beliefs and expectations.
When we take the time to understand these internal drivers, we can change how we live and approach pain.
Rocio expressed that this is one of the key takeaways they hope people get from their book.
She and Angel put in a lot of effort to make the book as accessible as possible, even removing words that required a dictionary.
Their goal was to create something that anyone could pick up and feel drawn into, making it easy for readers to absorb the lessons without feeling overwhelmed by complex language.
I couldn’t help but admire the care they took in crafting the book.
Having both the audiobook and the physical copy myself, I can say it’s definitely an easy read and even easier to listen to.
As someone who learns better through audio, I found the audiobook captivating, but the physical book is equally beautiful inside.
And while they made the language accessible, the material is far from basic.
It’s thoughtfully written, so whether someone is new to their journey or an advanced practitioner, the content meets them where they are.
I was curious if their teenage daughters had read the book.
Rocio confirmed they had, and not only that, but their daughters also contributed by giving notes and edits, adding their own insights to the final product.
I couldn’t help but smile at the idea of this being a family effort.
Rocio introduced an enlightening concept they had encountered in a recent seminar: Do you want to live in your history or in your mystery?
He emphasized the importance of choosing to dwell in the unfolding mystery of oneself rather than getting stuck in the past.
Their book reflects this philosophy, featuring chapters that detail the histories of the women involved and what brought them to this transformative point.
Initially, some of these chapters were too long and heavy on the pain that led to their journey.
However, feedback from their daughters prompted a valuable shift.
They asked if it was necessary to dwell so much on the past and suggested focusing more on the changes and transformations ahead.
This insight led to trimming down those sections, as they realized that everyone already knows their struggles and doesn’t need constant reminders of them.
Angel chimed in, noting that the content provides just enough context to understand the pain without getting mired in it.
It was a smart move, thanks to the honest feedback from their daughters.
I couldn’t help but appreciate how engaging teenage voices in the writing process added depth to the book.
Rocio shared how their daughters had witnessed their journey of healing firsthand.
They had seen them go from being an “open wound,” making poor decisions, to someone who had closed that wound and transformed into a better version of themselves.
This change did not go unnoticed; their daughters expressed their belief in their mother’s work and how it positively impacted their relationship.
They felt hopeful, recognizing the transformation in Rocio and the better mother they had become.
When asked how their relationship with their daughters changed after starting this work, Rocio reflected on their past as a critic rather than a supporter.
She admitted to having grown up in an environment where they were made to feel inadequate, leading them to unconsciously repeat that behavior with their own children.
At one point, they became aware of their critical approach and realized that they were acting like the enemy instead of offering support and encouragement.
Rocio shared how they shifted their parenting approach, moving from a critical stance to one of support and coaching.
He emphasized the importance of telling what they want.
This change allowed them to guide their daughters while encouraging them to experiment and grow in their own identities.
Rocio recognized that their own upbringing lacked the supportive tools necessary for growth, and they wanted to offer a different experience for their daughters.
Rather than making decisions from a place of fear, she began to trust their daughters’ choices, fostering an environment where they felt safe to express themselves.
Angel interjected that this newfound openness created a space where their daughters felt more comfortable discussing everything from business to personal identity—topics that had previously been taboo.
This shift in dynamic allowed for deeper conversations about who they are and who they aspire to be, a freedom that both Rocio and their daughters cherish.
When they first shared their book with their daughters, it was important for Rocio and Angel that their children felt part of the process.
The feedback they provided was not just welcomed but seen as a vital contribution to the family narrative.
The daughters’ involvement helped reinforce the idea that their opinions and voices matter, not just within the family but also in the larger context of life.
Rocio added that the positive changes were also reflected in their marriage, which has become stronger than ever after 24 years together.
Their daughters noticed this transformation as well, and there were moments when one of them would gently remind Rocio or Angel that they seemed a little off-center, encouraging them to take a moment for mindfulness or meditation.
Such moments highlighted the reciprocal nature of their growth as a family, where everyone could act as a mirror for each other, fostering an environment of mutual support and understanding.
Rocio and Angel reflected on the profound lessons they’ve learned from their daughters, emphasizing that they are not just parents but also students of their children’s experiences.
As Rocio shared, “They’ve been teachers.”
This reciprocal relationship is essential for cultivating the leaders of tomorrow, enabling the children to explore their creativity and express their voices freely.
Angel recounted a powerful moment when one of their daughters was overwhelmed with emotion.
After a difficult day, he unleashed a torrent of words and anger.
In a moment of calm, Angel centered himself and listened without interruption for 35 minutes, creating a safe space for her to express her feelings.
When the storm of words subsided, all she needed was acknowledgment, and her simple response highlighted the power of being truly heard.
In another instance, Angel encouraged his daughter to lie on the floor and practice gratitude, a suggestion she initially resisted.
However, after just ten minutes of focusing on thankfulness, he stood up and expressed how much better he felt.
Such experiences underscored the profound impact of simple tools like forgiveness, gratitude, and awareness.
Rocio and Angel wanted to share these tools, recognizing how they could transform lives and inspire others.
Forgiveness, in particular, was a core message they aimed to convey.
Rocio emphasized the importance of forgiving oneself and moving on to create something different.
Their daughters witnessed this transformation firsthand, which granted them permission to embrace their true selves and make mistakes within a loving, supportive environment.
This newfound dynamic fostered a sense of comfort, allowing the girls to feel empowered and practical about their lives.
I observed that teenagers are like toddlers, but they have major opinions now.
Toddlers keep their emotions bottled up until they see their guardians, and teenagers often do the same.
It’s essential to remember that even as adults, we can struggle to express ourselves.
By allowing her to vent for 35 minutes, Angel provided a valuable space for emotional release.
Sometimes, it takes even longer, and that’s okay.
I emphasized that this process isn’t about unloading on someone; it’s about giving oneself permission to release emotions in a healthy way.
Angel created a safe container for his daughter to express herself, which is incredibly important.
Rocio shared how mothers can find it challenging because they often pick up on their kids’ energy.
When a child is mad, a mother can feel that anger deeply.
She noted her learning process of understanding that sometimes nothing needs fixing in those moments; it’s about letting them have their moment.
Instead of turning to alcohol, she found that humor and laughter could lighten the mood and help navigate difficult situations.
I related a lighthearted moment with my daughter, who dislikes getting water in her eyes.
When I accidentally splashed her during a hair wash, my laughter helped both of us find humor in the situation.
It’s crucial to remember that even when discussing serious topics, it’s okay to laugh.
This can help shift perspectives and create a more open atmosphere for conversation.
Angel noted the research about how animals shake off stress after being chased by predators.
We must also connect with the emotions we’ve suppressed for so long.
Crying, often seen as a weakness, is actually a vital emotional release.
Reflecting on my own life, I recognized that my tears might have helped me cope and ultimately saved me.
I emphasized the significance of emotional release, noting that scientific studies show teardrops can appear differently based on the emotions being processed.
Whether one is mad, sad, or experiencing guilt, the appearance of tears reflects our body’s natural way of releasing those feelings.
I related this to the primal behavior of animals that shake to regulate their nervous systems after being chased.
In our modern lives, we often encounter numerous stressors—whether it’s scrolling on our phones, driving in traffic, or dealing with difficult conversations.
These experiences can lead to a state of dysregulation.
I highlighted how our ancient instincts for emotional regulation have been lost, as people often fear looking strange while expressing themselves.
Yet, activities like shaking, stomping, or making noise can be incredibly beneficial in releasing pent-up emotions and regulating the nervous system.
Understanding this primal need for regulation allows us to process our emotions in healthier ways, preventing them from being suppressed and resurfacing years later.
Rocio added that some clients she has worked with have been carrying emotional burdens for decades, emphasizing the importance of releasing these feelings.
Many individuals don’t realize that the information and support available today could help them heal and let go of long-held traumas.
I stressed the need to be mindful of what we consume, as engaging with echo chambers can reinforce beliefs that are misaligned with our true selves.
Finding communities, books, or podcasts that inspire hope can spark meaningful change in our lives.
Rocio expressed her passion for empowering others.
When individuals feel better about themselves, they recognize their ability to change their circumstances.
The work we are doing together is crucial because it demonstrates that if one person can do it, so can others.
Each person’s unique voice contributes to the collective journey of life, and we all play a role in creating a better world.
Angel shared a personal connection with his mother, who at 75 experiences the world differently.
He encourages her to speak about her experiences because no one can share her story quite like she can.
This sentiment resonates with all of us; the wisdom and experiences we bring to the table can touch others in ways we may not realize.
Each retelling of our stories carries a unique magic that can inspire and uplift those who hear them.
It’s essential to celebrate our individual contributions and recognize that together, we create a richer tapestry of life.
I encouraged everyone to check out the resources available for Rocio and Angel, including their book.
They shared that the book can be found at www.theorchidbook.com and on social media platforms under “The Orchid Book,” as well as their personal accounts: Rocío Aquino and Angel David Orengo.
It’s accessible on major platforms like Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Apple, available in electronic, physical, and audio formats in both Spanish and English.
Rocio expressed excitement about the positive feedback they’ve received, mentioning how people are using the book in book clubs to discuss limiting beliefs and foster meaningful conversations.
She emphasized their hope that the book serves as a guide for people seeking growth.
I chimed in, affirming the book’s value and directing viewers to the show notes or description for easy access.
Angel expressed gratitude for the engaging conversation and highlighted the transformative power of simple actions in changing one’s life.
He assured listeners that personal change can create a domino effect, positively impacting everything around them.
I emphasized the importance of finding what resonates and taking inspired steps toward change.
It’s vital to remember that personal growth not only benefits oneself but can also inspire others, even if they are not on the same path.
I encouraged everyone to check the links in the show notes, share the conversation with a friend, and look forward to connecting in the next episode.
With love and blessings,
Amy Robeson
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Hey, Amy Robeson here. Thank you for joining me on this podcast where we talk about spirituality, the awakening process, mental health, and so much more. Join me weekly to get your weekly dose of spirituality and medicine. I look forward to seeing you on the inside. Hello, everyone, and welcome to today’s SoulChat interview on Awakening with Amy Robeson. I’m so excited you are here. I’m so excited for our special guest. Yes, that’s right. I have two. That is a husband and wife duo. I’m so excited. They are also Sacred Awakening students. They wrote a lovely, lovely book that’s fiction, spiritual, and mind-blowing. The characters are amazing, and I’m so excited to share this with you. I’m going to just share a little bit The book is called The Orchid, The Secret Code of Modern Goddesses. And Rocio and Angel, our husband-wife team, they worked together to develop these characters. They have worked in TV and in marketing advertising and entrepreneurship. This is such a beautiful conversation with a husband and wife team. We talk about different backgrounds and our different journeys to heal. We also talked about our children, which was really fun to talk about because they have two teenage daughters and I have a toddler, and they’re both at the toddler stages, which is fun, even though their age gaps are different.
But we relate and we respond in different ways when we are teenagers when we are toddlers and when we are adults. The book, The Orchid, is available on audio and on regular print like Amazon. I will have their link in the show notes and in the show description. If you’re interested in a fiction book that is self-help, this is the book for you. It is so well-crafted, and the characters are just amazing. I could see myself, I could see my clients in each and every one of these characters. The way that they brought their pain story to the surface to describe why we have certain challenges is so well-crafted. The exercises that they give in the book are amazing and you could utilize them as well for your own self. Without further ado, let’s jump into this SoulChat interview. Welcome, everyone, today I have two very special guests, the husband and wife team, and I’m so excited to talk to both, Rocio and Angel. How are you guys doing today?
Great. Thank you so much for having us.
Yes, fantastic. Thank you. It’s very exciting to be here.
I’m excited to chat with you guys. First off, I met you guys at the Conscious Life Expo in February in LA. The first time I saw you, Rocio, I was like, She is gorgeous. I have to know who she is, and I definitely want to be her friend. And then it was funny because we both ended up having that similar connection when we started talking.
Yes. When I saw you, it was the same. It’s like, oh, my God, who is she? So much light. And it’s like, I was totally drawn to you. So really, really was. This is not a coincidence.
Yeah. I love it when souls recognize each other. So it’s really beautiful. Now, I know that you guys have been writing a book and you’ve finished the book. It’s called The Orchid. It’s fiction, right? Like self What’s not fiction?
Yes. It’s fiction, but it’s real. People are having these real problems, what they live in real life.
Yeah. We wanted to, after we were inspired to write, we were trying to figure out what type of book to write. We wanted it to be about sharing what we have learned, and what insights we have acquired. But something told us that it needed to be different, and so we wanted to tell a story. The only reason why it’s fiction is because it’s fictional characters, but truly is based on our lives, the lives of others around us, and really a lot of things that are happening in the world.
I think it was so cleverly written. First off, personally, I love self-help books, so I can get really burnt out on self-help books. So I love that it’s a fiction story that has self-help teaching throughout, which is just beautifully well-crafted. And for anybody that’s listening to this, they both wrote a book. It’s called The Orchid. And The Orchid is the secret cult of modern goddesses. Yes. I loved it because I have found that when I want something to just take me somewhere to a different planet or to a different mindset, I love going into fiction books. And so this was a blend of both of my worlds that I love together, which I thought it was so cleverly written as a couple as well. Tell me a little bit more about the book and more about your writing process as a couple.
Yes. Let me tell you what I was living. I was living a transformation. I was really living what is magic. Magic to transform one thing into another. At one point, we came and it’s like I have one energy, and he has one another energy. When we are doing it together, he’s very earthy, grounded, completely like, I have this amazing idea, and he’s like, Okay, we’re going to do it like this. It’s so interesting to work together to create something that is so feminine, a story that has magic because it’s the real world and how you can go and transform yourself. When you are seeing the characters, you see the doubts, the the suffering, but then they hope how they can do it in a different way with all the teachers. Because you are a teacher, you know what is to help people, but you never have to see what the characters think. For you to think, to see what the characters were thinking was like, Oh, I can see another point of view. In this case, Ángel was really advanced in his journey. In my case, I really struggled, like suffering or having challenges to overcome.
And that’s why, for example, I don’t know, for me, I was on the roller coaster. And for you?
I’d like to say that I was a little bit more Well, more spiritually aware or more spiritual without being aware. I think that’s where I was. I lived by these pieces of wisdom. Life is 90% what happens and 10% how you react. I applied all of these things in my life, but I didn’t understand them. All of a sudden, we undergo this spiritual journey of introspection, and I’m observing her and her transformation. I was blown away by how she was experiencing every single thing with just depth of understanding. I grew through her, through her experience. I was growing and understanding myself. And so at some point, this just became so beautiful. It was a beautiful dance that we wanted to capture. And then she would go away and do some retreat or- With a healer. With a healer, or crystals, or a sound bath, or a watsu. And she would come back and have these details about everything that had happened. And it was like, I need to capture this. So really, the book began that way, we were trying to capture the experiences because they were so profound. Initially, it was going to be more about her story and one story.
Some along the way, we Well, she had a lot of dreams along the way, and so they contributed to the fine-tuning of the direction that we were taking. One day, she got up and she said, It’s about women. And literally, it took me about 30 seconds, and it was like, Yeah, of course it is. It was just everything just started coming together. At some point, we decided that it needed to be about many women because we wanted to tell many stories because of how complex humans are. Oh, they’re so complex. Right? And so that’s why it’s really many women, but it’s really one soul. And so ultimately, that’s when we decided to write a story about six but really five specific women, which we follow along the book.
The process of working together has been really nice because we understand each other and we complement, and of course, have their challenge. But because we are in a better place, we are more clear, we trust each other.
There’s a lot of respect for each other.
Yes. So of course, at one point when we went in this, I don’t know, needs to be like this, and he’s like, I don’t see it. So I need to begin to use different words, and different techniques to show him another way. And he’s like, okay, okay, now I see it. So we talk about the collaboration all the time, but it’s been a dance that we’ve been doing for the last 24 years.
That’s amazing. That’s how long have you guys been together or married?
Together. 22, married, and 24 together. Yes. Not many people know this, but our relationship began in a professional environment in sales. So we had that also as a foundation that when we really started embarking on this journey we’re in now, it just was common. We fell in love professionally 24 years ago, giving presentations to clients in which one would begin the sentence after just having met three, or four months before. One would say something and the other one would finish a thought as if we had been working together for thousands of years.
That’s amazing. That’s synergy. That’s awesome. I love that. And you guys have been together for 24 years. The book was inspired by Rocío’s journey into the awakening and what that may look like for many different characters. For me, I loved all of the characters because I could see either my own struggles or my clients’ struggles that I have experienced with them sharing things with me. And so it was like, I can relate to that and I can understand that. I think it’s really beautiful how you also brought in even the fear of being persecuted for religious beliefs and religious upbringing because I think that’s a huge fear for most people that either had a very extremely strict upbringing in religion or a Catholic upbringing in religion. I love that you also tied that back in as well.
Yes.
One of the most important things that we wanted to do was to leave it very clear, and we were so absolutely crystal clear, this is not against anything.
Exactly.
We wanted anyone from any religion to pick up the book and say, Wow, I feel represented in there, and I feel like we are one indeed. We were methodical and Every time we read the book and went through each of the versions, we would look for words that could be judgmental, and we would remove them and scratch them out. Really, there was a very conscious process of creating something that was nothing but love, because that was what we were experiencing together. It really was wonderful for it to see its evolution. We took classes, for example, acting classes, where a coach would come into our house and help us embody these women that we were writing about. Rocío, you experienced?
For example, at one point, I experienced for the first time what is a panic attack. How do you describe that? Because it was really powerful. How you can live that how you can transmit the suffering of someone who at one point really blocked the system, and then how you can overcome that. It’s really to really try to give the people who are reading the book tools, tools for them to understand that even when you are having a very difficult time in that moment, you can switch. You can begin to breathe and take it down. It’s been a beautiful process to understand who we are and how you can help people read in and give them all this for them.
When we started writing, we felt that we had grown so much and we knew so so much. And we were so humbled when we wrote the book because it was like the thesis. It was the graduation. We cried as we wrote. We cried when we read, right? And when we were in some cases- Oh, there’s gut-wrenching parts in there.
So I cried. There are seriously gut-wrenching parts in a good way because there’s something so real and raw because when you’re going through this awakening journey and when you’re healing from trauma and doing all that stuff, you have to process it. You can’t keep running from it. And I think retreats, someone that I facilitate my own live retreats. And so I watch transformations occur with people in person. And it’s something that I absolutely love to go and do for myself because when we get out of our own spaces and in different environments, we can really grow because we’re forced to look at our stuff. And so I think you did such a beautiful job writing I really loved the book.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
As someone who has taken one of your courses, I think what I love about the courses is the love with which you held the space for everybody else to have their transformation, their shift, whatever experience they were looking for on that particular day. We’ve endeavored tremendously to do that with The Orchid. The Orchid is a place of love that holds space for people to go deep within, sometimes to those dark places, and just take out the garbage.
Yeah, absolutely. Now, I have a question for each of you. Who is your favorite character or your most relatable character and why in the book?
So when I was at the beginning, I was Sophia.
Okay.
I was feeling her. I was laughing with her. It’s like, I don’t believe this. Little by little, that transformation and the darkness in her humor was like something that I was relating a lot of who she was in the story. Really, someone who has the knife here to try to, No, I need to take care of myself. No one is going to come to help me. At one point, it’s like, I love the transfer, what she’s leaving because she’s cynical. It’s like, I’m here because I want to do the business. I want the information. Give me what I need because I want to continue to be successful. There’s nothing wrong with me. Yes. Now, one point is like, Okay, let me show you how you can bring more to the world. It’s like, Wow, that for me was really, really rich in that part. But everyone else is like, I’m a mother. When they ask you, Which of your kids do you prefer? So of course, all of them have something that I have.
Of course.
But at the beginning was really Sophia. And finally, it’s like, now I became more like Mary. So it’s this process of transformation.
And you? There’s a piece of me in every one of them. Yeah. Mary is the person that I feel I have become, but it’s also the person I aspire to be, still and forever. It’s that journey. Mary is on the journey towards just complete neutrality and love. That’s what I hope for in my life and for everyone who’s watching and reading and so on. I experienced sexual abuse when I was a child, so I identified with one of the characters that experienced sexual abuse. I didn’t have the benefit of having a father in my life. I identified with Olivia, who had a difficult relationship with her dad as well. I grew up in a single-parent home, and so divorce was something that was very present. Every one of them was a part of us, a part of me, and a part of her, and it just made it incredibly real and valuable and rich. So as a writer, it was great to have that, to go deep inside and find just the depth of characters. But they were in it. They were inside of us all the time. We just gave them a different face and a different name.
Yeah, I love that. The thing about even writing about reading books is it gives us an opportunity to go into a different world and understand our own world a little bit better. And Angel, just like you were saying, I’ve experienced sexual abuse, I’ve experienced divorce, I’ve experienced alcoholism and all that stuff. And so even though I feel like the book’s all about women, I do feel, even with you being a man, that you’re writing it, it’s very relatable for both men and women to pick it up and have some relatability to the characters. But what I find the most beautiful is you literally gave in the book a step-by-step guide on taking yourself through a personal retreat and what that would look like. If you do the work, this is what your happily ever after could be.
Yes. You know what I, for example, the tools. When you begin to use it, it’s like, One day I’m going to take this one, and another day I’m going to take another one. But in the end, the most important part is we are not special like anyone else. If you are feeling low, if you are feeling heavy, we try to explain there in the book that really you can read in, and voting for yourself can transform your life. You are not alone. The most important part is to invest in who you are because that is going to help you to really transform every moment differently. What happened five minutes ago doesn’t matter. It’s how you can change what you are in your current reality for the future. For me, I saw my mom die of sadness and depression. I saw someone who was absolutely fantastic, but she didn’t believe in herself. She didn’t have the tools. That’s why it’s so important, at least for me, to put it out there for more people to see if you are in your darkest place, pick up and read like you are not alone. When you know that, you begin to see the world in a different place.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. I want to mention or touch on what you just mentioned because as a man, I do get that a lot. I have all sorts of male friends, and some are open and others have read the book and simply enjoyed it. There was a comment from a friend that said, I didn’t even realize it was about women when I read it. It was about me. And there are others that simply would not open the book because of its cover and its color and so on. And what I will say to anyone who is listening, inside of us, there are both energies. And so really, is this about the dance that exists inside of me, inside of you, inside of you, and how we need to balance both that masculine and feminine? Because when you… Yes, there are days when you have to be forceful and aggressive and go after what you want. And there are days that you just simply have to be nurturing and loving and kind and gentle. And it’s the balance of those extremes that really take us on a new path. And that’s where I find myself. And so that’s why I was so comfortable.
I’m so comfortable in circles because I see the value that it brings to the world. I look at the world and I realize that we need more of that.
I think that’s beautiful because we are waking up. It’s not just women and it’s not just men. We as a collective are waking up. And a long time ago, my guides told me when I started my business, Do not exclude men because men are going to be… Right now, women are big change-makers right now and what’s happening? But if you exclude men, they don’t have the opportunity to share that with their circles as well. And so we’re changing, and we’re changing rapidly. Our nervous systems take a little bit longer to change, and so do our primal instincts and things like that. And so when we come together as a whole, both masculine and feminine, recognize we have both of those qualities because we won’t get anything done if we only in our feminine. We won’t be kind and compassionate and be open to receiving if we only stay in our masculine. And so finding that balance is really beautiful. And if you are a man and you’re listening to this, please know you will get something if you listen or read this book because you have it on both Audible and in- In Amazon.
Another book. Do you have it in both languages, in Spanish and in English?
Yes, it’s English English, and Spanish, and we did the audio with a professional because we want people to have really the journey with them. So that’s why we don’t use our voices.
Yeah, We thought that given our backgrounds, I’m from Puerto Rico, and Rocío is from Mexico. Given our backgrounds, we needed to have it in Spanish. Yes. Fun story, fun fact, we wrote it in English first because I was more comfortable writing, and I took upon the task of putting it on paper, and we finished it. Then we set out to write it in Spanish, and we experienced it differently because language is a personal thing, right? Yes. Then we liked certain things in how we handled it in Spanish and went back and made some changes in the English. Really, it was a dance even between the two cultures and languages. That’s cool.
That’s really neat. I love that because there are different ways of explaining things in different languages. And so that’s really neat. I love that you started with where you were comfortable, which is the best way to start, right? Because you just got to get started. And then you switched over to the other language and then switched it in your English form. That’s very, very neat. What is your guys… I always like asking this question because I’m writing my book right now. What is your writing style? Are you a bench writer? Are you a daily writer? What type of writer are you?
Both. Okay. Took us two years. So two years at one point, we have a lot of inspiration. And at another point, you need to sit down and write. And at one point, review with someone what you are doing to make events, right? Because at then, remember, I don’t know what book is what you are doing, but this was a novel that has characters, who has a place. And so we imagined and we did a map. So you can see, I don’t know if you have the opportunity to see the map and all the different buildings and trails.
For It goes in so many directions.
So we were creating a TV show. So it’s like we put different characters and we were having a writer’s room.
That was the goal. The goal, we have some experience in entertainment. When we set out, really, this all started because Rocío woke up one morning, another dream, and said, We have to do a TV show. We have to share with the world in a TV format, what we are going through, the learnings that we’re having, the tools that we’re learning. The way of thinking. The way of thinking. That comes because we have observed for far too long that sometimes the television that we are watching goes in a direction that is quite low energy. There were other programs out there that are changing that, and we wanted to contribute towards the trend. At some point, I said, Yes, but everyone I know in the world of entertainment, if we go and we bring this idea to, they’ll be like, Yeah, I’m not so sure about it. Let’s write a book. Let’s write a story. If it gets validated by 10 people, but it changes one or a few lives, it would have been worth it. But if it gets validated by a million people and they love it, then we have something really profound that we can then go to these production houses and whoever would be interested and really do something special.
And so that’s how it got started. And the idea, really, it’s to create simple ways to share in a conversation without interruption. When you go to dinner and you feel like you have a message for someone, it gets interrupted because everyone wants to share. Everyone’s so excited about a dinner conversation.
I have a three-year-old.
No conversation is interrupted.
Every conversation is interrupted.
And the train of thought gets lost. And what could have been a complete message for that person somehow doesn’t get delivered. What we wanted to create was a book that allowed for that conversation to happen from beginning to end so that at the end of the book, the reader could say, How fantastic. The journey that these women took, it’s that window, it’s that privilege that you have as a facilitator to be the transformation of someone from the point in which they arrived to you to the point in which they’re leaving in. And so someone now gets to see that, and it may be someone who doesn’t have the resources or the time to go away. And we wanted that to be available. And so that’s what the orchid is It’s going on in a retreat with some wonderful women in a fantastic five-star destination and experiencing self-love.
I wish the place existed. I honestly do, because I totally go to it. I would totally go to it. I would totally go to it because it’s exactly what I would envision as a beautiful retreat space. I loved how each space was different and things like that. It was I think that’s neat. I know that it originally started with the idea of a TV show. Is that something that you wish to do in the future or hope to do in the future?
Yes, we shall. We must because stories need to be told in every way in which they can. I do believe television is in the works. We really have very high ambitions for telling stories this way, not just ours, but everyone’s, right? Anyone who wants to There are so many beautiful stories, as you know, out there. And it would be great to create another space that allows for that to be massive, to be global, to impact people in any way they can. So yes, there is.
Well, the cool thing is I think we’re going to see that here within the next 10 years, if not sooner because there are so many different people that are talking about making more conscious networks because this is what people want. It’s like the spiritual of a hallmark or something like that where it’s light and it’s easy, but it’s not necessarily easy, but it’s just inspiring. And that’s the thing. If you’re inspired, you can create change and you can take action on those changes in order to make the life that you really want.
It’s beautiful when you can see people overcome, people who give you really a conversation and ignite of you a different reaction. When you begin to see that, it’s like, How interesting. I can make a difference, or I can act in a different way. In Mexico, I used to see a lot of drama in the subprocess, and I saw people who were copying in That behavior. That behavior. They think it’s real at one point, and that’s why it’s so important to create, to have these conversations that they see, We can do it better. You don’t need to be in a fancy school to make a change. You don’t need to… It’s like the change is in all of us, and you are helping. We are helping to bring more nurturing to every person that we are in touch.
One of the underlying messages in the book as well is very real for us right now, we’re experiencing, and there’s so much research showing up now, and of course, this has been known for thousands of years, but it doesn’t always surface, is we can change. The way we are is not necessarily a prescribed do-all, die-all way of being. Actually, you have a choice. You can make changes in your lives that are profound about the beliefs that you think are ingrained in you and unchangeable. And we have observed it with ourselves. We’re seeing it with our young daughters. We have a 16 and an 18-year-old daughters, and they are changing. The way they behave now in their circle is different. My 75-year-old mom is experiencing her own transformation. And so we’re looking at how at any age, you can actually, through the proper tools, through the willingness, you can rewrite the way you behave, the way you think. And with that, change your life. There’s an organization that we follow, and it says, Change yourself, change the world. We’re not too different from that. Change yourself, change your marriage, change your relationship with your children, change your family, change your community, change the world.
It all begins inside of us, and that’s what we wanted to capture, that really everything we need is inside.
I love that. I love that you guys, one, are married and you’re supporting each other in each of your changes because it’s like the other person doesn’t have to change. You can’t make your partner change. What would you say to a couple, I know you guys are a couple of therapists, but what would you say to a couple if my spouse or my partner is not willing to do the work, but I’m doing the work? What would you say to someone like that?
It’s funny because I will say, Really give read together. It’s like, let’s have conversations. Let’s have a conversation about what you want to experience in life. Because at one point, I was really key to doing many changes, and he was like, What are you doing? In my case, it’s going to be better for us. I was really putting in words like, Give it a try. He was a little bit curious to see it. I think curiosity helps to really begin to see, and remember, we used to live in different places of the world. We were seeing how things are acting in different places. I was always curious to see for what reason that person was different and for what reason another person was. We put it in the book about limiting beliefs. How you are, how you believe what you believe. It’s because you were born in that place of your world, and that gives you your vision, of who you are. That defines you. But if we were the three of us and put in another place, we’re going to be thinking another way. I was beginning to be open to explore and Now, for example, I would tell them, that curiosity is helping you to really what is not serving you, you can change it.
Let it go.
In my case, I was really looking for forgiveness. I was carrying suffering, and I was really curious to see how I could remove that heaviness of my life because I saw someone who was completely happy. It’s like, How is that possible? It’s like, It’s possible. It’s like, Okay, I’m ready to learn. At one point, I began to see the different way of thinking, and it’s like, I like it. The limiting beliefs that I was carrying were like, I could not change. At one point, I began to question. It’s possible. So that’s why we put it in the book. I would tell curiosities for me, for you.
Radical responsibility.
Radical. I love that.
It’s I know not many people like to hear it. We have been accustomed. We grow up blaming others for everything that happens.
It’s our culture.
It’s our culture. The moment that I started reading more about the fact that we are responsible for everything that happens around us, it just blew my mind that it opened up a whole new experience of how I was behaving in the world. I experienced it with little things at first. For me, I love films, and The Matrix is a wonderful film because it speaks about a lot of this. In the beginning of the movie, the bullets are fired and it hurts him. In the middle of the movie, he can almost avoid the bullets. And by the end of the movie, he puts his hand up and simply stops the bullets. And when we are stronger inside, when we are sound inside, when we love each other, when we’ve forgiven ourselves for all the silly, dumb things that we’ve done throughout our lives or just yesterday, you cleanse yourself of that blame and that guilt that it’s what gets ignited when someone throws a word at you. The word doesn’t hurt you. It’s the meaning that you attach to it. And so what I would say to that couple, if you really, obviously, if it’s a dangerous situation, do something about it.
But if you want to save that relationship, work on yourself, work a lot, work deeply, and you will see change. First in you, obviously, but eventually in the other person. The power of love is limited It’s limitless, but it needs to begin within.
Absolutely. Because when you start showing up for yourself, your partner has the opportunity to start showing up as well. And if they don’t, then you know where you’re at. You give them the opportunity to rise to the occasion or to fail. And sometimes it’s okay if your partner doesn’t do the same things as you, because I think so often in our culture, it’s like we narrow down and go, This is the only way to do things, and it’s not. It totally isn’t. You can go so many different ways in so many different directions. I know that me when my husband started meditating, I was taught a very specific way. When he went and grabbed these books, I thought the books were so rudimentary, but it got him excited and it got him doing it. What difference does it make what my opinion on the book? Because the main thing is you’re doing it. That’s all that matters is that they’re doing it. It’s okay if your path looks different because of the way you show up to the workshop as well, even if you’re showing up as husband and wife or partner and partner, you’re going to have two totally different experiences because of what’s going on in your inner world.
It doesn’t matter how your partner perceives it. It’s how you perceive it internally because that one exercise or that one It could be life-changing for one person, the person. It could be so triggering that it’s bringing up something to look at, but you’re not ready to start looking at it. I do like that you actually talked about that in the book where one of the participants at the retreat ended up leaving early because they weren’t ready to handle and start looking at their stuff. And that is a normal response.
Yes. They were like, is real. It’s like, I don’t want to see. Don’t tell me. I’m okay. And it’s like, I’m content.
And that’s if it’s conscious. It may be like, I am not going there, period, and not even be aware of that. Yes. I love the… It was a very important scene to add. We wanted to open the door for those people who are not ready and still deliver the message, It’s okay. Whenever you’re ready, here we are. We’ll support you when you come back.
Well, it’s so funny because I host live retreats. This is even with online programs, people do this, too. But in-person retreats, oh, my Lord, people’s stuff starts coming up a week or two before the retreat happens. And what ends up happening is some people start spiraling. And when I say spiraling, they’re like, I don’t know if I can come to the retreat. And their subconscious is letting them know that, Hey, something big is going to happen. And then either their mental body, their inner child, their ego, whatever part of them, whatever aspect of them that’s trying to rationalize not doing the work because it’s going to create big change, which then means they have to look at certain things, they’ll start spiraling. I always have this. This is always something I do every single time. Your stuff is going to come up before the retreat, and you have to say, I’m willing to work on it. You have to be willing to actually work on it. You have to tell whatever aspect of you that’s throwing a fit that they’re safe and they’re all okay. If you choose not to come, that’s okay, too. But that’s part of your journey around working that out because big things happen when you show up for yourself, even if it’s for an hour workshop or a three-day workshop.
Just all depends on what it is that you’re doing or a week-long retreat like this. It just depends on what you’re doing. But stuff’s going to come up and you’re going to have to look at it at some point in your life.
We added empty pages in the book because we wanted the person to also, whoever was reading the physical book, to just have that moment just in case they wanted to write something down and they needed to. Because it’s intense when you go within and you remember some of those challenging times of your life. We just have to be gentle with ourselves.
Yes, absolutely.
I think that’s the most important part. Don’t take it so seriously. It’s going to pass. The feeling when you see it is if you see it, you can remove the power that has over us. At one point, after removing… I was like, What is this animal who has so many…
A porcupine. Porcupine.
I was a porcupine. I need to remove one by one all my needles. At one point, it’s like, Oh, my God, this is so horrible. I was crying. Then after that point, I was like, I can remove this without crying. We need to talk about more of that because really, you begin to remove and it’s like, yes, it doesn’t need to suffer. Now It’s like we can heal in a way that more positive attitude, more off-lifting, and less heaviness. It’s like, no, really, when you are laughing, you are healing, too. What is the intention that you are putting?
Yeah, absolutely. The thing about the porcupine, too, is that you can actually pet a porcupine when it’s relaxed. It’s not about necessarily even removing the needles. It’s about how can you give yourself permission to self-regulate. Yes.
I read a saying once, and what does it say? It said pain is going to happen always. It’s a human nature. It’s a human component of our experience. Suffering is optional. That’s the part that if we learn how to deal with that, the suffering comes because of beliefs, because of expectations that we have. If we’re able to spend some time understanding that and understanding how it applies to us, because every one of us is quite different, there is an opportunity to change the way we live and to treat pain differently. That’s what we’re hoping that people take away from the book. It’s quite exciting to be able to share that. We went through the effort of making the book as basic as we could. We literally would go, and if a dictionary was necessary for a word, we swiped, we took it out. We’re like, No, we want everyone to be able to read this and just be drawn along and just feel like it’s easy reading. That was important to us.
It’s definitely easy reading, and easy listening, because I’m an audience learner, so I listen to the audiobook. The book itself, if you have the print copy, is so beautiful on the inside and everything like that because I have both. I think that’s great that you brought it down to relatable languaging. With that also being said, if you are someone who’s been on your journey a while, you’re an advanced practitioner, whatever, it still meets you where you’re at because it’s not basic information. I really do want to emphasize that. It’s really well-crafted. I know you guys have two teenage daughters. Have your daughters read the book?
Yes, of course. They did it and they have comments about it.
They gave notes and edits.
I love that.
Yeah. Sometimes we learned a new term in a recent seminar we went to is, where do you want to live? Do you want to live in your history or in your mystery? And it’s, wow, we aim to live in the mystery of us. Yes. And the unfolding of that mystery history. When we wrote the book, there are chapters that are specific about the history of the women and what led them to that point to come to the orchid. And some of the chapters, when originally written, went too long and too detailed into the pain that led them to that point. Bues in some of the instances. And one of the feedback that came back from our daughters is, Is that necessary? And can we just focus on their change and the transformation that they’re about to go through? And it was, what? That makes a lot of sense. And so we trim down those paragraphs and those stories because we all know the things that we’ve gone through. We don’t need to remind you of it.
Yeah. There’s just enough information to get the real picture and what the pain was.
Yeah. And so that came because of their comments.
That’s awesome. I think teenage girls can give you a run for your money. I have all sisters, so it’s always very interesting what any teenager has to say. I don’t have any relatability because I don’t have brothers, but I think that it’s always interesting in terms of allowing a teenager to have a view and to have an opinion. I love that you included them on your book-writing.
Yes, they are really important for us So of course, we want to… They are being see my change, how I was an open wound, rowing around the world and making mad decisions from there. And they saw how I close my wound and changed. So they were like, I believe in what are you doing. So Thank you for doing because you became a better mom. So was for them something that they were witnessed of the transformation. And that was they had hope.
That’s great. How did your relationship change with your daughters after you started doing the work?
For example, I used to be the worst enemy. I just used to criticize because that’s why I grew up. I grew up in that house where you are not enough. Whatever you do is like, they’re going to say They don’t support you. They make you feel small, really small. And At one point, I was… But it’s like a passive-aggressive. Like, I love you, but you came late. I love you, but if you shut up and you marry someone with money, you’re going to be okay. It’s like you need to do all these things because you are not worth it. At one point, I was really changing how I was relating with them because I caught myself seeing like, Oh, my God, I’m acting like I’m the enemy. Instead of supporting what they had to say, I was criticizing them.
It was a learned behavior.
Yes, 100%. So at one point, I stopped and it’s, No, tell me what you want. And it’s like, I’m going to be your coach, really. I’m going to teach you things, but then I’m going to let you experiment with what you are doing. Because really what I want to do, like a mother, is that they became stronger in who they are, what they believe. I didn’t have that growing up because my mom was a beautiful human who didn’t have these tools. So of course, I want to pass on another experience to them. So they saw how instead of me taking my decisions from fear, I was more okay with, No, I trust you. I trust what you are doing. I know that society is telling you something. I believe that in my time, but you don’t need to do that. So you can do something else. And they were like, Oh, my God, I love what you are doing. I can be more open to you. I can tell you. Because my approach was like, I’m going to talk to you about business, about a house, but then I’m going to talk about who you are, your sexuality, and all the things that I was not able to access when I was a teenager.
Now I have more freedom.
Which is beautiful.
I think that they feel more comfortable exploring who they are. We’ve been investing in them and how they feel, their relationship with the father, and how talk, open. What else do you feel?
When we first gave them the book to read, we wanted them to be part of the business, if you will. We wanted them to understand that they could contribute. When we found that their comments were meaningful, obviously, that was fantastic. When they saw that those changes were made, they were like, Well, what I have to bring to the table matters in the family. But then add to the fact that they saw our relationship improve because our marriage is better than it’s been in 24 years, in 22 years. And so all of that has contributed, and it hasn’t come without challenges. There were a number of times, and I welcome it, but one of my daughters would say, Dad, you’re a little bit off-centered. Do you want to go and meditate for a few seconds? And you’re like, Okay, they’re putting a mirror in front of us.
Oh, that’s the That’s the best part.
It’s wonderful.
They’ve been teachers. They’re teaching us, really, are you really trusting what I’m saying? And it’s really a challenge to grow all together. But if I want to do the leaders of tomorrow, it’s like we need to teach them right now to be those. Absolutely. To be free to really experiment a creativity in their voice.
There are a couple of instances that I recall that were profound with our daughters. One was a moment in which one of them was having a really difficult time. A lot of energy was moving within her, and she was not a happy woman. When she exited, when Rocío exited the car and she and I were alone, she just went off, Amy. It was like just an explosion of words and anger. You know what was interesting? I was in such a great place. All I did was center myself. I was in silence, and I was like, Okay, I’m going to remain in love. I’m going to remain neutral. And she must have gone on for 35 minutes. To the point where sometimes you’re like, My goodness, is she going to have a heart attack? Because it was just so deep. And when at the last minute, there was that sigh that we often hear. When the energy shifted. And all I could say to her was, Are you okay now? She goes, Yeah. Thank you for listening. That was the end of that.
She just wanted someone to hear her.
Yeah. Right. And how many times have we been in those situations in which we haven’t just listened or someone hasn’t listened to us? The other time was a time when something else was happening and it was similar and it was just my advisor was, lay down on the floor and start giving thanks for everything that you have in your life. And she fought it. And it’s like, no, no.
It’s so simple. I don’t want to do it.
We’re going to do it. Let’s do it. And for 10 minutes, all she did was give thanks. And there’s such a reward when a 16-year-old gets up and says, Wow, Dad, that really works. I feel different. And so it’s really profound when the tools are there. And that’s another thing. The tools are simple. Forgiveness, gratitude, and awareness. And so we wanted people to have these tools because we’re seeing how those tools are changing our lives, and we want to make them available in the best way we could to more people so they could use them, too, and be aware of them.
And forgiveness. That’s why we put it there so clearly that really forgive yourself and then move on, and create something different. So of course, they saw that. And when they saw that, it’s like, Okay, you are different, and I have permission from you guys to really be myself. To make mistakes. Yes. Here is a content, lovely- Content environment.
Yes.
With a lot of love. So for them was like, Okay, this is practical. I can live with this.
I could live with these parents. I think them.
Teenagers are like toddlers, but they have opinions now, like major opinions, right? And so if you look at a toddler, they keep their stuff together all long until they see their mom or their dad or their guardian. Then the second they see them, they just let go of everything they’ve been bottling up. I think so often as a society, we forget, even as adults, we do that. Teenagers do that as well, but they have all of the peer pressure of their peers, and they’re still trying to figure out who they are. And even as adults, we’re still trying to figure out who we are. But I feel as teenagers going through that second toddler stage, but they’re trying to figure out how to release their emotions where a toddler naturally knows how to do that. So it’s awesome that you just let her just complain and yell and do whatever she needs to do for 35 minutes. And sometimes it takes even longer, right? And I think even for us, that’s a good sign that we need to do that as well. I think the more that we let stuff out instead of it up.
It’s not unloading it on someone or at someone. It’s about giving yourself permission to just unload it in a proper, healthy way. For you, you made her a safe container for her to do that, which is awesome.
Yes. I think for moms, sometimes it’s more difficult because we have energy. We can pick the energy of our kids like this. When they are mad, at one point, you are like, I’m mad. What happened? And he was like, No, one second. One second. Let me help you. So it’s been a learning for me to understand that, No, no, nothing happens. Let them have their moment. And of course, I don’t go to, I don’t drink anymore because it’s not alcohol. It’s a then for me, what helped me was humor and jokes. And it’s like, let’s laugh about this and how ridiculous sometimes we act.
Oh, yeah. It’s so funny. My daughter, does not want to get water in her eyes at all. Do not get water in my eyes when you’re washing my hair. I don’t want to wash my hair. And this weekend, I washed her hair, and it was like slow motion. I accidentally got the water all over her eye, and I just started laughing because it was just like, I know how big of a deal it was to her. And she goes, Mom, that was so funny because normally she would just die. And I would have made an excuse for why. Because I didn’t do it on purpose. But because I started laughing, it gave her permission to start laughing. And that’s the thing. You can be talking about something crazy or gut-wrenching. Even with my clients, we’ll be talking about something that’s serious. I haven’t, but you could still laugh. You are still allowed to laugh, even when you’re talking about something heavy. And it’s okay if you laugh because it allows the space to lighten up and to give yourself permission to look at it from a different angle or a different perspective.
There’s research now, and it’s been for a while, but how animals, after being chased by a predator, shake and how they let go of that stress that’s formed from that experience. I believe that we have to get in touch with a lot of the emotions that we have that sometimes we’ve suppressed for how long crying has been looked down upon as a sign of weakness. I believe that one day we’ll realize that all of these elements, laughter as well, are really ways to let go and move that energy through our bodies and out of our bodies. So that we can release it. I could look back in my life, I think I was called a crier when I was a child. I would cry a lot. I was too, for sure. Today, I look at that and say, I wonder how much that helped me throughout my life to release a lot of the stress and the emotions associated with many of the experiences that I had. I think it may have saved me.
Absolutely. They’ve shown that if you take teardrops under a microscope, and if you are mad, the teardrop will look a certain way. If you’re angry, it will look a certain way. If you’re sad, it will look a certain way. If there’s guilt that you’re releasing, it will look a certain way. It’s our body’s way of releasing. I love that you talked about the animal shaking because I just made a reel for this for social media because if an animal is chased, they will shake until they regulate their nervous system. We are constantly in a state of dysregulation based on just scrolling on our phone driving in traffic having a challenging conversation with a colleague or coworker or reading an email or whatever. We can get dysregulated from so many different things. But the ancient way of doing things, this primal way of doing things, is often lost because people are worried that they’re going to look weird or strange. Actually, no. Literally, go shake out your body. Shake it out, stomp it out, make crazy noises. All of that helps to release and regulate the nervous system. Once we understand that the nervous system needs to be regulated in a proper way and that our nervous system is primal.
It’s so primal. But we have all these advances now. We’ll get closer to normal regulation, and be able to process things in a quicker, healthier way without shoving them down and working on them 10 years later a year later, or a month later.
No, or Sometimes you carry since you are a child.
Decades or lifetimes.
Yes. I’ve been seeing some clients that they are releasing, releasing releasing things that they carry for 60 years.
Yeah.
Because they didn’t know that at that point, all the information that we have today, the younger generation through the phone is having more information. But really, it’s more and more we need to have these conversations.
Yes, absolutely. I think that also you have to be conscious of what you’re consuming because you could be in an echo chamber that feeds into belief systems that are really not in alignment with your soul’s evolution. And so if you get into a community or read a book or listen to a podcast or what have you that allows you to see hope or sense hope or an inspiration in a different way, you can create change, which is really me.
Yes. I love hope. Yes. I feel like, really, for example, if we feel better about… When you empower a person to feel better about themselves, they feel that they can change anything. I really love what we are doing together because people can see it that if they are doing it, I can do it. It’s important that everyone is doing it on their own because their voice is unique and we need it. We need your voice, his voice, my voice, all of this to really help to make a bit of a change, a better world. That’s our commitment.
We say that to my mom all the time because she at 75, well, experiences the world differently. And what we tell her is, well, hurry up and start saying and speaking about it because no one will ever share a story like you will. That’s true for every one of us. Even though we’re bringing this wisdom or experiences to this audience, the truth is that someone is listening right now, and when they retell this to someone else, those are the words that are going to touch that other person because it has to juice the magic of that individual that it’s unique. We need to celebrate that and we need to recognize that each one of us contributes to this whole thing that we call life. Together, it’s better. That’s what we do, for sure.
Let everybody know, and I will put this in the show notes and in the description, let everybody know where they can find you all and the book.
Yes. The way page is www. Theorchidbook. Com. They can find us on Instagram, The Orchid Book, or Rocío Aquino. And A.
D. Orengo, Angel David Orengo, A. D. Orengo. In any social media, the book is available in all platforms, whether it’s Barnshernoble.com, Amazon, or Apple, and as you mentioned before, is in electronic, physical, and audio versions, in Spanish and English.
Which I Absolutely love. You know what I’ve been having people that they read it and it’s like, I’m going to have it with my book club or with my mom to have the conversation together about what is a limiting belief and how we can have a guide that innate conversations. So yes, we are hopeful that this is for serving people.
I think it’s a fantastic book. So if you’re interested, check out the show notes or the description if you’re watching this on YouTube, or you can go to the orchid book. Com. Is that right? Yes.
Yes, perfect. Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us today. Is there anything else you’d like to share before we hop on?
Well, thanks to you for having us. What a wonderful Fantastic and exciting conversation. And thanks to everyone who is watching or listening. And again, the message is there are simple things that you can do to change your life. And if you can change yourself, everything around you will start falling into place in a domino effect. I promise you that. So thank you.
Thank you, everyone, for joining us for this beautiful SoulChat interview. What inspired you about this book? Is something calling to you? Because if it is, definitely go and pick up the book. Again, it’s in audio and print form. You can check out the links in our show description or the show notes. I absolutely had so much fun chatting with Angel and Rocío. It’s amazing that we can grow and we can watch our partner grow, and then it can inspire us to grow, which then inspires our family to grow. And so no matter where you’re at on your journey, if you are being guided to do something different, if you’re being guided to challenge your beliefs, you are on your 10th time of doing something or the first time, but you really wanted to make it last because you no longer want to suffer, you no longer want to do the things that have gotten you to this point that are no longer working for you, find something that works. Sometimes it’s a book, sometimes It’s a book. Sometimes it’s watching a video or checking out a podcast. Sometimes it’s journaling. Whatever the case is, take inspired action because you deserve to live the best life that you are being guided to live.
You deserve to evolve, and the people around you will evolve if they’re meant to evolve, and they won’t evolve if they’re not meant to evolve with you. So remember that you are on your journey, and the more you take care of yourself, the more you will inspire others to take care of themselves as well. So check out the link in the show notes. Share this with a friend, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one. Bye.
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