Episode 160: Journey to Self Discovery: Aligning Identity with Aspirations

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This compelling episode explores the profound journey of self discovery and the importance of aligning our identity with our aspirations. We discuss how facing personal barriers and embracing change is essential for growth, highlighting the transformative power of understanding and redefining our deepest fears. Listeners are encouraged to reflect deeply on who they are and how they can navigate life's challenges to fulfill their true potential.

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Episode 160: Journey to Self Discovery: Aligning Identity with Aspirations

Throughout our lives, we experience many metaphorical deaths.

There will be numerous times when you think, "I'm no longer that person. I'm no longer that aspect of myself because it no longer serves me."

This realization is a critical part of our journey toward self discovery.

Have you ever desperately wanted to pursue something but found yourself unable to take the first step?

Have you ever felt stuck, knowing you should act but finding it impossible to execute?

I've been there too.

When I wanted to start my business, I often talked about wanting to do something different and how badly I wanted it, but I just couldn't make it happen.

The fear of failing held me back.

Additionally, the fear of leaving behind the comfort of my familiar income level and identity was overwhelming.

Fear of Failure and Comfort Zones: A Journey to Self Discovery

In my previous experiences, I found comfort in familiarity, yet I was profoundly miserable with what I was doing.

The fear of failure was so crippling that it prevented me from taking action.

However, upon reflection and through teaching others, I've come to understand that the core issue was an identity crisis.

Often, our deep-seated desires to achieve something, to create something new, or to transform into someone we aspire to necessitate shedding old illusions of who we are.

This process involves tuning into a new frequency—a new paradigm of self-identity.

This transition can be daunting for the ego and deeply unsettling for our inner child.

Both of these aspects of ourselves have helped us reach our current state, and they resist change out of fear.

They fear the unknown, worrying about making mistakes or having to assume a role they feel unprepared or unworthy to fulfill.

This fear is not just psychological; it's embedded on a cellular and multidimensional level.

As we navigate through these fears, the journey of self discovery becomes about achieving external goals as well as reconciling and transforming our internal narrative.

Stepping into a New Frequency

When you allow yourself to take a step back and truly evaluate your situation, you begin to understand the root of your hesitation.

Ask yourself:

Why am I experiencing a failure to launch?

What part of my identity is afraid to change?

How am I defining myself?

These questions are crucial as they help you transition from your current state into a frequency that aligns with your desires.

Indeed, everything boils down to a frequency issue.

It's all about whether you are a frequency match for what you truly want.

Even if you can align with that frequency, it doesn't necessarily mean it's in true alignment with your soul's path.

For example, I once had an incredibly exciting goal that I couldn't wait to start, but I procrastinated for years.

By the time I finally pursued it, the excitement had faded.

Even though I completed the task, it was no longer an aligned action.

The opportunity had passed, and it no longer ignited my passion.

Aligned Actions and Divine Timing

I didn't want to do it.

I had to be really honest with myself, saying, "I don't need to do this, and it doesn't make sense for me to do it."

And so, time is of the essence.

Just because you've been dragging your feet for so long doesn't mean that it's not in alignment anymore, either.

It can be very much in alignment.

I know that when I wanted to start my business, it took me years to say, "I'm going to do this. I have the courage to do this. I am going to do this."

And eventually, I did it.

It took me four years instead of two to have the courage to get everything situated.

I gave myself a deadline in the last year, where I said, "I'm done. I am absolutely done. I have to do this."

My soul was desiring to do this.

I recently shared this with a friend who is starting her own business. She's terrified of going off on her own as a 1099 contractor.

If she goes off on her own, she's responsible for all of her own income.

However, I reassured her, saying, "You're going to wish you did it sooner."

Overcoming Fear of Change

"You're going to wish you did it sooner."

I really wish I had done it sooner because, knowing what I now know, it was something that I could have handled at that moment.

However, everything works in divine timing.

It's okay that I didn't do it sooner because I needed those lessons.

Without those lessons, I wouldn't be where I am today.

I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself: What is holding you back from having the ability to launch and take action on your desires, and what part of you is scared to change? What does changing look like? What does changing feel like? And how can you embody that change and be okay with taking one tiny baby step each and every day towards that change?

Change is a powerful thing.

Change is always inevitable.

Nothing ever stays the same. If it did, life would be extremely boring.

How can you give yourself permission to change?

Importance of Taking Action and Consequences

What are the consequences of choosing not to take action?

I'll give you an example. For me, when I chose not to take action, I was saying no to my dream, yes to staying in a career that I felt was sucking the soul out of my body, mind, and spirit.

I was saying yes to more stress, yes to long, extreme hours, and yes to stability.

I'm going to highlight that one because I am saying yes to stability.

If I were to say yes to a new job, I am saying yes to instability instead.

And that is something that you have to be willing to be okay with, that you're not comfortable with, that you don't know everything.

And so there's always a flip side to the coin.

And so identifying what you're saying yes to, what you're saying no to, and how it truly impacts you will help you make a sound decision.

No matter what, you want to evaluate what is going on if you're having a failure to launch.

The other thing, if you're having a failure to launch and you know it's an alignment, you know your soul is trying to tell you to go out and do this very thing, but you can't do it.

Seeking Outside Help for Identity Crisis

I highly recommend getting outside help.

I went through an identity crisis when I moved to be with my now husband, moving away from home from Wisconsin to South Carolina.

At that time, I went back to school. I finished my degree.

I wanted to go and sell medical equipment.

I had friends in the industry who could get me a job.

Then, when I moved, I didn't have any connections.

I didn't have any friends with whom I was used to hanging out.

I didn't want to go back into my previous career.

I was having a massive identity crisis because I didn't know who I was because everything I identified with at that moment in time had been stripped away from me—my friends, my community, my family.

It was by choice. It wasn't because I was kicked out of the community.

It was because I wanted to be with my husband.

I wanted to move. I wanted to have an adventure.

I've always wanted to move away from home since I was a little kid.

I knew that was something I always wanted to do in my lifetime.

Questioning Your Core Identity

I had to be okay with sitting with these uncomfortable feelings of, "Who am I?"

This is a really powerful question because your identity comes down to the big question, "Who am I?"

You're not your identity based on labels when you think about it.

Yes, you could be a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a son, a daughter—all of those labels. But who are you on a core level? What is your soul desiring to have? What are you willing to do to make it happen? And how uncomfortable are you willing to get?

QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF FOR SELF DISCOVERY

  1. Why am I having a failure to launch?
  2. What part of my identity is scared to change?
  3. How am I identifying?
  4. What is holding you back from taking action on your desires?
  5. What parts of you are scared to change?
  6. What does changing look like?
  7. What does changing feel like?
  8. How can you embody that change?
  9. What are the consequences if you choose not to take action?
  10. Who am I on a core level?
  11. What is your soul desiring to have?
  12. What are you willing to do to make it happen?
  13. How uncomfortable are you willing to get?
  14. Who are you truly?
  15. Are you willing to take action to achieve the desires you seek?

These questions are ones you'll want to sit with, meditate on, and journal on because who you are is going to be your North Star.

It's going to be your compass on how you navigate your life.

If you are leaning towards something that you truly are not in alignment with, is not who you truly are, you're going to be able to identify that much more quickly than if you're just floating randomly in the ocean, not sure which way to take, which path to go.

And your identity, as messed up as it sounds, your identity is always going to allow you to navigate life in a particular way.

Sometimes, those pieces of your identity are false or outdated aspects of your being that no longer want to be part of your identity.

It's so hard sometimes to say, "I got to let this go. I got to love this part of myself, so I'm willing to let it go. I'm willing to let this aspect of myself die."

You're going to have many deaths in your lifetime. You're going to have many times where you are going, "I'm no longer that."

Embracing Change and Shaping Your Reality

I'm no longer that person.

I'm no longer that aspect of my being because it's no longer serving me.

I know part of my identity has always been to please people because that was my upbringing.

That was my trauma response.

I work really hard on letting go of that piece of my identity, to the point where I call myself out on behaviors and actions that aren't in alignment with my true beliefs about who I am.

Because I know on a deep core level, my identity is not a people pleaser.

It's also not a people fixer.

So, part of understanding your behaviors, thoughts, words, deeds, and actions that ingrain identity, identity, identity, identity, identity over and over again is getting the opportunity to say, "No, I'm not doing that anymore. No, I don't want that anymore."

Then, you have the opportunity to choose different behaviors, thoughts, words, deeds, and actions that support who you truly are and who you truly want to become.
It is a lifetime practice. It's a lifetime opportunity.

You have the right to change your mind at any point along the path of who you are because it's your reality.

It's not my reality. It's not your friend's reality. It's not your parents' reality. It's not your caregiver's reality. It's not your spouse's reality. It's your reality.

You shape your reality.

You get to see through the lens that you see through.

No one else can see through that lens but you.

You have the opportunity each and every day to go, "I am going to be who I am and who I want to become, and I'm going to take action towards that very thing."

When you do, you are a force to be reckoned with, my friend.

You are a force to be reckoned with, and you get to decide what that looks like on a consistent basis.

You get to decide that at each and every moment of each and every day.

No one else. No one else can make you figure out who you are.

No one else can make you see, perceive, or feel the things you feel, see, or perceive.

No one else, only you.

If you view your world as awful, unworthy, or unlovable, that's what you're going to feel.

That's what you're going to receive.

If you start telling yourself this each and every day and start taking actions that support you in feeling more worthy, powerful, or peaceful, your reality is going to be shaped into that new frequency you are seeking and working towards each and every day.

The universe is going to validate those feelings.

It takes time, it takes patience, and it takes effort.

The question I'm going to leave you with is, who are you, my friend? Who are you, and are you willing to take action to achieve the desires that you seek because you deserve it?

LOVE AND LIGHT,

AMY ROBESON

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Full transcription of the episode:

You're going to have many deaths in your lifetime. You're going to have many times where you are going, and I'm no longer that. I'm no longer that person. I'm no longer that aspect of my being because it's no longer serving me. Hello, everyone. Welcome to today's episode. I am so excited you are here. Have you ever wanted to do something so badly, but you have failed to launch? You have failed to take action. You almost feel like you're stuck, but you know you want this thing. You know it's important to take action on this thing, but you just need help executing. I know I have. I know that for a long time, when I wanted to start my business, I would talk about how I wanted to do something different and how I so desperately wanted this thing, and I just could never execute it. The reason why that was is because I was so scared of failing. That was one fear. Another fear was that I was too scared to let go of my familiar comforts. I was used to a certain income level. I had a certain identity that I was attached to.

I was comfortable with those things, but I was super miserable with what I was doing, and I really didn't want to do it. But those fears were so crippling I couldn't take action. But the biggest one was, and this was a very subconscious thing, and it wasn't a... I understood it at that particular moment to my core. Now, looking back, I am doing the things that I do and teaching the things that I teach. It was an identity problem. Hey, friend, I want to invite you to a very cool, epic event that you are going to want to attend. It is our free DNA, Ancient Wisdom Masterclass series that is happening May 21st, 22nd, and 23rd of 2024. We are going to be doing three very, very, very powerful healings that are going to prepare your DNA to be activated. We're also going to be talking about why it's important to activate your DNA, what that looks like throughout your lifetime, and how your DNA holds gifts from your ancestors, from your soul that wants to be awakened and want to be utilized in this lifetime, and also so much more. Join me in this free series by going to theamyrobeson.com/free.

You will also find that link in the show notes or the description, depending on where you are watching or listening to this. I hope to see you there. Don't worry if you can't join us live; you can catch the replay. All right, let's hop back into the episode. Usually, when we have a strong desire to have something, to create something, to be something, it requires us to let go of certain illusions of our identity and step into a new frequency, a new paradigm of who we are. That can feel really hard for the ego. That can also feel really hard for our inner child because these two aspects of your being got you to this point, and they're nervous. They're scared that if you let them go if you let them be something different, they won't know how to navigate that new chapter. They're scared that they might make a mistake, or they're scared that they have to be something that they're not capable of being or they're not worthy of being. Whatever the fear is, it's a very real fear on a cellular level, on a multidimensional level.

When you give yourself permission to take a step back and truly evaluate, why am I having failed to launch? What part of my identity is scared to change? How am I identifying? These questions will assist you in stepping out of the frequency that you're in and stepping into the frequency that is a match for your desire. Everything is a frequency problem. It truly, truly is. When it comes down to you attracting the things and embodying the things that you truly desire to have, it comes down to whether you are a frequency match for that particular thing. If you're not, can you get into a frequency match for that thing? Just because you can get into a frequency match for that thing doesn't mean it's in true alignment with your soul's path. I'll give you an example. I remember having this goal, and it was like something that I was so excited to do, something so excited to talk about, but I dragged my feet on it for years. Finally, when I got around to doing it, even though I did it, it was no longer an aligned action. It was no longer an aligned design. Fire because that ship had already sailed, and it was not exciting.

I didn't want to do it. I had to be really honest with myself, going, I don't need to do this, and this doesn't make sense for me to do. And so time is of the essence. And just because you've been dragging your feet for so long doesn't mean that it's not an alignment anymore, either. It can be an alignment. I knew for me when I wanted to start my own business. It took me years to go; I'm going to do this. I have the courage to do this. I am going to do this. And eventually, I did it. It took me four years instead of two to have the courage to get everything situated. I gave myself a deadline last year when I was done. I am absolutely done. I have to do this. My soul is desiring to do this. I recently told a friend who is starting her own business that she's scared to go off on her own because she's a 1099 contractor. If she goes off on her own, she's responsible for all of her own income. However, I told her, I said You're going to wish you did it sooner.

You're going to wish you did it sooner. For me, I wish I had done it sooner because knowing what I know, I know that it would have been just... It was something that I could have handled at that particular moment. Now, with that also being said, everything works at divine timing. It's okay that I didn't do it sooner because I had to have those lessons. I know that without those lessons, I wouldn't be where I am today. You got to. You'll want to. You should take a step back and ask yourself what is holding you back from having the ability to launch, to take action on your desires, and what part of you is scared to change. What parts of you are scared to change? What does changing look like? What does changing feel like? And how can you embody that change and be okay with taking one tiny baby step each and every day towards that change? Change is a powerful thing. Change is always inevitable. Everything always stays the same. If it did, it would be extremely boring. How can you give yourself permission to change?

What are the consequences of choosing not to take action? I'll give you an example. For me, when I chose not to take action, I was saying no to my dream, yes to staying in the career that I felt was sucking the soul out of my body, mind, and spirit. I was saying yes to more stress, yes to long, extreme hours, yes to stability. I'm going to highlight that one because I am saying yes to stability. If I were to say yes to a new job, I would say yes to instability instead. And that is something that you have to be willing to be okay with, that you're not comfortable with, that you don't know everything. And so there's always a flip side to the coin. And so identifying what you're saying yes to, what you're saying no to, and how it truly impacts you will help you make a sound decision. No matter what, you want to evaluate what is going on if you're having failure to launch. The other thing, if you're having failure to launch and you know it's an alignment, you know your soul is trying to tell you to go out and do this very thing, but you can't do it.

You're scared to do it. Recommend highly getting outside help. I went through an identity crisis when I moved to be with my now husband when I moved away from home from Wisconsin to South Carolina. At that time, I went back to school. I finished my degree. I wanted to go and sell medical equipment. I had friends in the industry that could get me a job. Then, when I moved, I didn't have any connections. I didn't have any friends with whom I was used to hanging out. I wanted to stay in my previous career. I was having a massive identity crisis because I didn't know who I was because everything I identified with at that moment in time had been stripped away from me: my friends, my community, my family. It was by choice. It wasn't because I was kicked out of the community. It was because I wanted to be with my now husband. I wanted to move. I wanted to have an adventure. I've always wanted to move away from home since I was a little kid. I knew that that was something I always wanted to do in my lifetime.

I had to be okay with sitting with these uncomfortable feelings of who I am. This is a really powerful question because your identity comes down to that big question: Who am I? When you think about it, you're not your identity based on labels. Yes, you could be a mother, you could be a father, you could be a brother, you could be a sister, you could be a son, you could be a daughter, you could be all of those labels, right? But who are you on a core level? What is your soul desiring to have? What are you willing to do to make it happen? And how uncomfortable are you willing to get? And I know this episode has a lot of deep-thinking questions for you. And what I'm going to do is ask the questions that I've spouted out. I am going to put them in the show notes or in the description if you're watching this on YouTube or in the blog. I blog all of the episodes. If you need to get more familiar with that, you can go to my website, theamyrobeson.com/podcast, and you can check out the blog for each episode.

These questions are questions you'll want to sit with, meditate, and journal on because who are you going to be your North Star? It's going to be your compass on how you navigate your life. If you are leaning towards something that you truly are not in alignment with, is not who you truly are, you're going to be able to identify that much more quickly than if you're just floating randomly in the ocean, not sure which way to take, which path to go. And your identity, as messed up as it sounds, your identity is always going to allow you to navigate life in a particular way. Sometimes, those pieces of your identity are false or outdated aspects of your being that no longer want to be a part of your identity. It's so hard sometimes to be like, I got to let this go. I got to love this part of myself, so that I'm willing to let it go. I'm willing to let this aspect of myself die. You're going to have many deaths in your lifetime. You're going to have many times where you are going, and I'm no longer that.

I'm no longer that person. I'm no longer that aspect of my being because it's no longer serving me. I know that part of my identity has always been to please people because that was my upbringing. That was my trauma response. I work really hard on letting go of that piece of my identity to where I will call myself out on behaviors and actions that aren't in alignment with my true beliefs in who I am. Because I know on a deep core level, my identity is not a people pleaser. It's also not a people fixer. And so part of understanding your behaviors and your thoughts and your words and your deeds and your actions that ingrain identity, identity, identity, identity, identity over and over again, you get the opportunity to go, No, I'm not doing that anymore. No, I don't want that anymore. Then, you have the opportunity to choose different behaviors, different thoughts, different words, different deeds, and different actions that support who you truly are and who you truly want to become. It is a lifetime practice. It's a lifetime opportunity. You have the right to change your mind at any point along the path of who you are because it's your reality.

It's not my reality. It's not your friend's reality. It's not your parents' reality. It's not your caregiver's reality. It's not your spouse's reality. It's your reality. You shape your reality. You get to see through the lens that you see through. No one else can see through that lens but you. You have the opportunity each and every day to go. I am going to be who I am and who I want to become, and I'm going to take action towards that very thing. When you do, you are a force to be reckoned with, my friend. You are a force to be reckoned with, and you get to decide what that looks like on a consistent basis. You get to decide that at each and every moment of each and every day. No one else. No one else can make you figure out who you are. No one else can make you see or perceive or feel the things that you feel or see or perceive. No one else, only you. If you view your world as awful, unworthy, or unlovable, that's what you're going to feel. That's what you're going to receive. If you start telling yourself each and every day and start taking actions that support you in feeling more worthy or support you in feeling more powerful, or support you in feeling more peaceful, your reality is going to be shaped into that new frequency in which you are seeking, in which you are working towards each and every day.

The universe is going to validate those feelings. It takes time, it takes patience, and it takes effort. The question I'm going to leave you with is, who are you, my friend? Who are you, and are you willing to take action to achieve the desires that you seek because you deserve it? All right, friends, make sure you like, subscribe, and share this with a friend. I'll see you in the next one. Bye.

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