Episode 123: Embracing Emotional Wellness: Why Your Feelings Matter

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It takes a lot trust and courage to communicate our feelings and process painful emotions, even in a safe and healthy way. Our feelings matter. The more emotional stagnation we release, the more space we hold for healing and evolving to create the reality of our desires and dreams.

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EMBRACING EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

Your Feelings Matter

Emotions are Valid and Important

Every emotion that you feel is valid.

No one has the right to tell you how you're supposed to feel. Your feelings matter.

Just like, you don't have the right to tell anybody else how they're supposed to feel.

We are blessed with the ability to feel emotions. Yes, this is a blessing.

We get to feel joy and excitement.

We also get to feel anger and sadness, and I know that might sound weird that I am saying, we get to feel these things.

With everything, there's always a flip side to the coin. While you might be feeling sad, you also have the opportunity to feel happy.

What I think happens when we get into disagreements or we have a hard time expressing our emotions, we may be told that you're not supposed to feel that way.

Or maybe you're in a situation where there is no reason to feel sad or there is no reason to feel disenchanted with your life because maybe everything's going really great.

But guess what?

  • Your emotions are telling you something.
  • Your emotions are giving you feedback to something that's occurring within you.
  • That feedback might be due to the present moment.
  • Also, it might be due to past experiences that are percolating within you to come to the surface to be resolved and to be healed.

Expressing Emotions in a Healthy Way

What is most important is that we express our emotions in a healthy, non-violent way, and we don't take our emotions out on someone else because they are in the crossfire of maybe a tailspin that you are in.

So let me back up for a little bit.

When we have the opportunity to feel emotions, and we feel them at the appropriate time, in the appropriate way, we get to express them and feel them in a healthy manner.

Let’s say you had something that was really challenging you.

You go home, and you take a moment, maybe take a few days, and you realize that you're upset and angry, and you start expressing that you’re upset and angry.

Maybe you talk to someone,
maybe you journal about it,
maybe you call a friend,
maybe you talk to your romantic partner,
maybe you talk to a colleague of yours.

You are expressing yourself in a normal healthy way.

I think that often in a spiritual community, people think…

….well, if I feel mad or if I feel angry…I'm not spiritual.
This is toxic.

It is not toxic whatsoever to say,
I'm angry,
I'm upset,
I'm having a hard day,
I'm having a challenging time,
I'm grieving,
I am disenchanted with my life, or
I'm feeling whatever it is that you're feeling.

Your feelings are valid. Your feelings matter.

Bottling Up Emotions and Negative Outbursts

What gets people in trouble sometimes is when they've bottled up their emotions
and they bottle them up, and they bottle them up, and they bottle them up.

Then one little tiny thing, or it could be a big thing…
…tips them over the edge, and they end up expressing their emotions in the most inappropriate way.

  • Yelling at someone not involved,
  • picking a fight with someone,
  • unloading,
  • unleashing all of your fear and emotions at once.

I recently just experienced this with someone I love. Who got upset with someone else and ended up taking out their problems and their emotions on another who wasn't even involved in the situation.
And it was really, really sad.

And the thing is, you make yourself wrong when you don't process your emotions in a healthy way and end up taking it out on someone else who has nothing to do with it.

Which causes everyone else to go…

…No, I'm not dealing with that.
I'm not putting up with that behavior.

So, how do you handle that situation?
We find healthy outlets to look at your emotions and express them.

If you constantly bottle, constantly bottle, constantly bottle, constantly bottle, constantly bottle…..
you are a volcano waiting to Erupt.

You only have so much space that you are able to fit into your energy container, before one more thing gets added to that container and…
Everything explodes and you will end up hurting people or getting hurt.
There is no more room, no more space within the energy field.
No more space to process what is happening.

Importance of Finding Healthy Outlets for Emotions

This is why I think it's crucial to have people you can lean on to have a conversation with, professional people or friends or whatever.

Why find a healthy outlet?
If things have happened to you in the past and you have not addressed them, not looked at them…
…they're going to surface one way or another… likely at the least opportune time.
You have to be willing to do the work and get uncomfortable.

I know for me, I have found that the way I have set myself free from trauma in my past is by actually talking about it.

And no, it's not comfortable talking about it.
Sometimes I don't even want to talk about it.

But I know that it allows my heavy heart to be lightened and to be opened up to new possibilities when I am given the opportunity to talk.

Opportunities to talk can look different from day to day.
It might be with my husband, a friend,
I might call up my therapist or my life coach.

I know last year, I had a deep dive with one of my coaches, and I'm constantly working with the coach.

To me, working with someone, a therapist, a coach, or a healer folds time. I'm going to get to understand myself and have breakthroughs quicker with one.

I'm doing the work on my own, but also doing the work with other people who can support me and feeling safe in a container that allows me to express myself.

I remember before I started this session, many things were coming up in my mind, in my memory, in my heart about just god-awful things that I experienced as a kid.

I'm like, I don't want to talk about that. I don't want to talk about it. I'm so uncomfortable even thinking about it, let alone talk about it.

I knew that those memories were coming up for me to share because it was time,
time to make space for other beautiful blessings, high vibrational energies, relationships, feelings, and emotions that are different than what those memories were taking space up in my energy field.

I remember getting on the phone with my coach, and the first thing I said was, ‘I want to talk about this’.

If I didn't say that right then and there, I would have chickened out, and I would have buried it even deeper.

We are constantly given opportunities to talk, to communicate our feelings.

I always like to pay attention to my thoughts and my emotions at the same time. Triggers of an old memory, are invitations to heal.

It’s so crucial that we take hold of the reins and give ourselves permission to just go for it.

When we step into our courage, we free ourselves from the emotions that cause pain.

We open ourselves up to a new level of consciousness, a new level of being, that is healing and free of past emotional pain.

Talking About Traumatic Experiences for Healing

Even though I've talked about what happened in my past, I have never shared the exact details with someone ever.

Sharing those exact details, gave me the opportunity to let go of a really dirty secret. Growing up I was always told to keep things secret. and not share things outside of this household. If I did, oh, my goodness, I would get in major trouble.

By giving myself the permission to free myself from that trauma, it opened up a new world of healing that I know I wouldn't have been able to have, if I hadn’t been brave enough to just go for it.

I think bravery and courage come in stages. So for me, I'll share what I'm talking about here.

So for me, my stepdad not only physically, mentally, emotionally abused me, he sexually abused me.

And so I ended up sharing exactly when that happened and what all occurred…I knew it was time.

By doing so, I felt like I got an opportunity to transmute a thousand, a million pounds worth of energy that had been
sitting on me,
sitting on my consciousness,
sitting in my energy field.

There were so many emotions that were attached to it, from guilt, shame, disbelief, anger, rage, sadness…

…just a lot of sadness because that was someone that I trusted and that was supposed to keep me safe. Even though not my biological dad, that was my dad from a very, very young age.

So for me, by having been given that opportunity and taking that courage to share, I got blessed.

I got blessed.

Many blessings that have come from just that one conversation.

Bravery and Courage in Sharing Trauma

Going back to this idea that courage and bravery come in stages, you might not be able to talk about some of the things that you've experienced right away.

Perhaps you talk about 1% of it.

The next opportunity comes along, and you're like, Okay, I'm feeling a little bit more brave.
I'll talk about 10 more % of it.
Then a little bit more time passes and it’s 50 %.

Eventually, you might have the courage to share about the entire experience.

Your experience doesn't have to be as traumatic as mine because it's not about comparing experiences.

It's about understanding that when you feel emotions, they are valid and that you need to express them in a way that allows you to free yourself from the emotion that is causing you pain.

  • It's not pushing away from it. It's not running away from it. It's not shoving it down. It's facing it.

It's looking at it in a healthy way where you feel safe. And again, I'm going to use that word, safe. You have to feel safe.

Feeling Safe & Cleaning Your Energy Field

By feeling safe, you have the opportunity to go deeper. You have the opportunity to scrub and clean your subconscious and conscious on a deeper level.

We are here to clean our energy.
Our energy field can only hold so much, just like a bathtub. Your bathtub can only hold so much water before it starts to overflow.
And when it starts to flood, guess what?

The floor gets dirty.
It starts to ruin the walls.
It starts to ruin anything in its path because water doesn't care.

Water needs a container to hold it, and your energy container can only hold so much before it implodes and seep out.

Just like a bathtub, your energy field needs to be cleaned,

We can clean it by talking about our emotions.
We can clean it by acknowledging the experiences we have throughout the day and letting them go.

Cleaning your energy and grounding is just as crucial as meditation.

Meditation allows you to really hear the answers to God, the universe, and divinity.
But Cleaning allows you to hear, sense, feel, and imagine on a completely deeper level.

Why?

You don't have all the noise, all the gunk, all the dirt from previous experiences that you have buried or you've been holding close to you because you're too scared to take a look at them.

Giving Yourself Permission to Feel, Heal, and Evolve

With that being said, express yourself in a healthy way.

Validate your emotions. Nobody else has to validate them. Not one single person. You are the only person that can acknowledge how you're feeling.
Give yourself permission to

  • feel the feeling and then
  • cancel the feeling by letting it go
  • and then choosing a different feeling that you want to feel.

This frees you on a completely different level.

Take a breath, find someone you trust.
Most importantly, feel your feelings. Your feelings always matter.

Give yourself permission to heal & evolve, and you will start to create the reality you never dreamed possible.

If you enjoyed this episode with Amy Robeson, we would love to invite you to check out other inspirational episodes by clicking here. Enjoy!

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Full transcription of the episode:

Hey, Amy Robison here. Thank you for joining me on this podcast where we talk about spirituality, the awakening process, mental health and so much more. Join me weekly to get your weekly dose of spirituality and medicine. I look forward to seeing you on The Inside. Hello, my friends. Welcome to today's episode. I am so excited you are here. Before we jump into what we're going to talk about today, I just want to let you know, sacredawakening, my Akkashik record program, the doors are wide open. You can take advantage of our major, major, major, major discount right now. You can head on over to sacredawakening. Or click the link in the show notes or go over to my website and you can find the program on the program page, which is theaimayrobison. Com. My website is theaimereobison. Com. If you're watching this after the early bird discount ends and you're interested in joining the program, email me and we can have a conversation. All right, so with that being said, let's jump in. Every emotion that you feel is valid. No one has the right to tell you how you're supposed to feel, just like you don't have the right to tell anybody else how they're supposed to feel as well.

We are blessed with the ability to feel emotions. Yes, this is a blessing. We get to feel joy and excitement. We also get to feel anger and sadness and I know that might sound weird that I might be saying like, We get to feel these things. Because with everything, there's always a flip side to a coin. While you might be feeling sad, you also have the opportunity to feel happy. What I think happens for people when we get into disagreements or we have a hard time expressing our emotions, sometimes we're told that you're not supposed to feel that way. Or maybe you're in a situation where there is no reason, I'm going to put that in a foundation, there's no reason to feel sad or there is no reason to feel disenchanted with your life because maybe everything's going really great. But guess what? Your emotions are telling you something. Your emotions are giving you feedback to something that's occurring within you. That feedback might be due to the present moment, but it also might be due to past experiences that are percolating within you to come to the surface to be resolved and to be healed.

No one gets to tell you how you're supposed to feel. What is really important is that we express our emotions in a healthy way, in a non-violent way, and we don't take out our emotions out on someone else because they are in the crossfire of maybe a tailspin that you are in. So let me back up for a little bit. When we have the opportunity to feel emotions and we feel them in the appropriate time, in the appropriate way, we get to express them, feel them in a healthy manner, meaning, let's say you had something that was really challenging you and you go home and you take a moment, maybe take a few days, and you realize that you're upset and that you're angry and you start expressing that you're angry and upset. Maybe you talk to someone, maybe you journal about it, maybe you call a friend, maybe you talk to your romantic partner, maybe you talk to a colleague of yours, but you're expressing yourself in a healthy way that's healthy, that's normal. I think that sometimes in our spiritual community, people think, Well, if I feel mad or if I feel angry, I'm not spiritual, and that's toxic.

No, it is not toxic whatsoever to say, I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm having a hard day, I'm having a challenging time, I'm grieving, I am disenchanted with my life, or I'm feeling whatever it is that you're feeling. Your feelings are valid. What gets people in trouble sometimes is when they've bottled up their emotions and they bottle them up and they bottle them up and they bottle them up. Then what ends up happening is one little tiny thing, or it could be a big thing. Something tips them over the edge and what ends up happening is they end up expressing their emotions in the most inappropriate way. This could be yelling at someone or picking a fight with someone or just unloading, unleashing all of your fear, all of your emotions all at once. And maybe this person had nothing to do with anything that actually recently just happened that made you tip over the edge. I recently just experienced this with someone that I love, and this person got upset with someone else and ended up going to take out their problems, their emotions on someone else that wasn't even involved in the situation. And it was really, really sad.

And the thing is, is you make yourself wrong when you don't process your emotions and you end up taking it out on someone else that has nothing to do with it. Your emotions are still valid, but what ends up making the person wrong or doing something and they have every right to be angry, but what ends up happening is they do something in an inappropriate way that causes everyone else to go, No, I'm not dealing with that. I'm not putting up with that behavior. So how do you handle that situation? Well, you find healthy outlets to look at your emotions and express them. If you constantly bottle, constantly bottle, constantly bottle, constantly bottle, constantly bottle, you are a volcano wave waiting to erupt. Let me say that again. You only have so much space that you are able to fit in your energy container before one more thing gets added to that container, and guess what happens? Everything explodes and you will end up hurting people or people will end up hurting you if they're not doing this themselves. Because because they have no room. They have no more space within their energy field. They have no more space to process what is happening.

This is why I think it's so crucial and so important to have people that you can lean on to have a conversation with. They can be professional people or they can be friends or whatever. You have to find a healthy outlet. If there has been things that have happened to you in the past and you have not addressed them, you have not looked at them, they're going to come to the surface one way or another and they're going to come to the surface maybe in the least opportune time. You have to be willing to do the work and get uncomfortable and look at those things that aren't comfortable to look at. I know for me, I have found that the way that I have set myself free from trauma in my past is by actually talking about it. And no, it's not comfortable talking about it. Sometimes I don't even want to talk about it. But I know that it allows my heavy heart to be lightened and to be opened up to new possibilities when I am given the opportunity to talk and given the opportunity to talk looks different from day to day.

It might be with my husband, or it might be having a conversation with a friend, and I might get an intuitive hit like, Hey, it's time to talk to someone about this. Or I might call up my therapist, or I might call up my life coach, where it's time to have a conversation about this. I know last year, I had a deep dive with one of my coaches, and I'm constantly working with the coach. To me, working with someone, a therapist, a coach, a healer, folds time. I'm going to get to understand myself, have breakthroughs quicker if one, I'm doing the work on my own, but also doing the work with other people that can support me and feeling safe in a container that allows me to express myself. I remember before I started this session, and there was a lot of things that were coming up in my mind, in my memory, in my heart about just god-awful things that I experienced as a kid. I'm like, I don't want to talk about that. I don't want to talk about it. I'm so uncomfortable even thinking about it, let alone I don't want to talk about it.

I knew that those memories were coming up for me to share because it was time to make space for them to leave and to have other beautiful blessings, high vibrational energies, relationships, feelings and emotions that are different than what those memories were taking space up in my energy field. I remember getting on the phone with my coach and the first thing I said, I want to talk about this. Because if I didn't say that right then and there, I would have chickened out and I would have buried it. We are constantly given opportunities to talk about things. I always like to pay attention to my thoughts and my emotions at the same time. Because if I have an old memory or a thought that pops up, or I have someone share something with me, and all of a sudden it triggers an old memory, that's an invitation to heal. And it's so crucial that we take a hold of the reins. We give ourselves permission to just go for it because by going for it, we free ourselves. By going for it, we open ourselves up to a new level of consciousness, a new level of being.

And just because it happened in the past doesn't mean those feelings are not valid. And just because you may have thought you have dealt with it, but it's still coming up, doesn't mean you're fully healed from it. And I think that that's also a really important understanding. So going back to this story I'm sharing with you about me sharing some traumatic events that I've had, even though I've talked about what happened in the past, I have never shared the exact details with someone ever. And by sharing those exact details, it gave me the opportunity to let go of a really dirty secret. Because growing up for me, I was always told you keep things secret. You're not allowed to share things outside of this household because if you did, oh, my goodness, we would get in major trouble. And so by just giving myself permission to free myself from that trauma, it opened up a new world of healing that I know that I wouldn't have been able to have if I wouldn't have just been brave enough to just go for it. And I think bravery and courage comes in stages. So for me, and I'll share what I'm talking about here.

So for me, my stepdad not only physically, mentally, emotionally abused abused me, he sexually abused me. And so what I ended up doing was sharing when exactly that happened and what all occurred because I knew it was time. And by doing so, I felt like I got an opportunity to transmute a thousand, a million pounds worth of energy that has been sitting on me, sitting on my consciousness, sitting in my energy field because there were so many emotions that were attached to it, from guilt, shame, disbelief, anger, rage, sadness, just a lot of sadness because that was someone that I trusted and that was supposed to keep me safe. That was also, even though he was my biological dad, that was my dad from a very, very young age. And so for me, by having been given that opportunity and taking that courage to share, I got blessed. I got blessed. And there's many blessings that have come from just that one conversation. And going back to this idea that courage and bravery comes in stages, you might not be able to talk about some of the things that you've experienced right away. Maybe you get to talk about one percentage of it, and then the next opportunity comes along and then you're like, Okay, I'm feeling a little bit more brave.

I'll talk about 10 more % of it. Then maybe a little bit more time passes and you're like, Okay, I'll talk about 50 % of it. Then eventually you might have the courage to share about the entire experience. Your experience doesn't have to be as traumatic as mine because it's not about comparing experiences. It's about understanding that when you feel emotions, they are valid and that you need to express them in a way that allows you to free yourself from the emotion that is causing you pain. It's not pushing away from it. It's not running away from it. It's not shoving it down. It's facing it. It's looking at it in a healthy way where you feel safe. And again, I'm going to use that word again, safe. You have to feel safe. By feeling safe, you have the opportunity to go deeper. You have the opportunity to scrub and clean your subconscious and conscious on a deeper level. And we are here to clean our energy. Our energy field can only hold so much, just like a bathtub. Your bathtub can only hold so much water before it starts to overflow. And when it starts to flood, guess what?

The floor gets dirty. It starts to ruin the walls. It starts to ruin anything in its path because water doesn't care. Water needs a container to hold, and your energy container can only hold so much before it implodes, before it starts to seep out. Just like a bathtub, your energy field needs to be cleaned, and we can clean it by talking about our emotions. We can clean it by acknowledging the experiences we have throughout the day and letting them go. Cleaning your energy grounding is just as crucial as meditation. And meditation allows you to really hear the answers to God, universe, divinity. But cleaning allows you to hear, sense, feel, imagine on a completely deeper level because you don't have all the noise, all the gunk, all the dirt from previous experiences that you have buried, or you've been holding close to you because you're too scared to take a look at them. With that being said, express yourself in a healthy way. Validate your emotions. Nobody else has to validate them. Not one single person. You are the only person that can acknowledge how you're feeling. Give yourself permission to feel the feeling and then cancel the feeling by letting it go and then choosing a different feeling that you want to feel.

This frees you on a completely different level. Take a breath, find someone that you trust, and most importantly, feel your feelings, give yourself permission to evolve, and you will start to create the reality that you never dreamed was possible. All right, my friends, I hope you like and subscribe. Please share this with a friend if you find it helpful and useful. I look forward to seeing you in the next one. Bye.

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All media content provided by Amy Robeson and Love, Light, & Yoga LLC is intended for entertainment or educational purposes only. None of this content is intended to offer, or replace qualified medical or health-related advice. All guided meditations and healings are for relaxation purposes. The author accepts no responsibility or liability whatsoever for any injury, loss, or damage in any shape or form incurred in part or in whole, as a direct or indirect result of use or reliance upon the information and material presented here.

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