Episode 51: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Hey everyone, I hope you are doing well. I want to talk about the lies we tell ourselves. So often we will create stories that prevent us from taking action. Or the story we tell ourselves creates a chain of reactions within us that causes us to be in the wrong or causes us to be in the wrong even if we were in the right. Wherever the case is, we tell ourselves stories. Those stories end up becoming lies.

Some of the story is true, some of it is valid and some of it is just over-exaggerated. And please note that when we have bad things happen to us does not mean that that's not true. Like bad things happen and that is true. However, sometimes we tell ourselves stories that prevent us from taking the action we're supposed to be taking that will assist us in feeling better or living our dream, or allowing us to get to where we want to be.

And I caught myself in a story the other day and I didn't realize I was in this story until after I gave myself permission to do the very thing I didn't want to do. And it's really simple. It's really not that complicated. I caught myself in this story when I decided to go to the dentist. I've had traumatic experiences at the dentist. I don't like going to the dentist. One, I have TMJ. If I keep my mouth open for too long, my mouth is going to hurt. It's going to cause a pain-like sensation in my ear because it feels like I have an earache, but I don't.

Then I have sensations and pressure in my teeth from keeping my mouth open too long. This all has to do with grinding my teeth since I was a little kid. And if I manage my stress, my TMJ is not that bad. However, if you have to keep your mouth open, it's going to hurt. So the story that I have been telling myself is that if I get this last mercury filling taken out of my mouth that it is going to be so painful. I'm going to have so many issues and it's just going to be an awful experience.

This is what I've been telling myself for years. Well, I finally realized that I need to do something about this. And I finally realized that I really do need to get the mercury filling out of my mouth. And sorry guys if you guys get grossed out, but this is a good example. So I finally gave myself permission. I've researched a ton of different dentists. I decided it was just time and that even though I was anxious, even though I know the truth is that I'm most likely going to be in pain, the story I'm telling myself that it's absolutely going to be the most horrific experience of my life I had to change. There was some truth in this story. It was going to be painful.

And it was painful. I do have pain in my ear and my jaw, but it's not actually the most pain I've ever been in from going to the dentist, which is pretty miraculous because I literally thought that this was going to be the worst session appointment ever. And not only that, I finally got something that was toxic, which is mercury, out of my body. And I did it. The dentist was like, "I know you said you have anxiety, but you did really well."

And what I did when I was there is I listened to chanting music and could I necessarily hear the chanting music? A little bit. But if I didn't have the music on or my headphones in my ears, I would sit there and chant and I would tell myself positive affirmations and it allowed me to lessen my stress. It allowed me to just be present and accept the fact that I have to get this done. And that the more that I resist it, the more issues it's going to cause. I had to tell myself the story I told myself before is simply a lie.

It's all going to be okay. And let me tell you something, this was the first time I've ever been to the dentist where they didn't have to give me four numbing shots in order for my mouth to get numb, which is pretty incredible. I was so excited. It started off so smooth and it ended so smoothly. Does my jaw hurt? Yes. Do I have a little bit of pain in my ear? Yes. But it was not the most traumatic experience that I had. And so it got me thinking about the lies that we tell ourselves and we tell ourselves lies all the time.

I want you to think right now, what is one thing that you want to do, that you would love to do and you're afraid to do, and why are you afraid to do it? And then I want you to ask yourself what part of it is a lie? What part of it has some validity and truth, but what part of it is a lie? And how can you shift your mindset in order to create the very thing that you want to create so that you can move out of the story and into implementing action? Because implementing action will assist you in starting to change the mindset.

There will be some validity to the story that you have told yourself, but you can shift your mindset in the actual experience. You can also shift your mindset before you approach the experience. You can shift your mindset during the experience. You can shift your mindset after the experience as well. The key is that you want to give yourself permission to be very honest with yourself. There are going to be times that something is scary and you're going to be nervous, and it is okay if you are scared and if you are nervous. You have to give yourself permission to go through instead of staying behind in your comfort zone.

The more willing you are to go through to the other end, the easier it will be. If you go kicking and screaming and reluctant, you're just going to cause major issues within your energy field. And what I mean by that is you will attract the very things that you are afraid of and if you continue to think about how bad something's going to be, you will create that experience. So if you can shift into the mindset that it's possible to do and then shift into action, like, how can you prepare yourself to do it? And for me, preparing myself to actually make the decision to get this last mercury filling out was to do my research, and to talk to different dentists to see who I was most comfortable with.

Because if I'm comfortable with that person, I'm going to be more relaxed. I'm also going to feel like I am being supported as well. The other thing that I did to prepare myself besides research was I looked at the stories I was telling myself and then I had to make up my mind to say that's just simply not true. And yes, I did tell myself that I wasn't going to be in a ton of pain. And to tell you the truth, I was not in any pain while I got this done. Zero pain. Where the pain came in slightly was two days later when the muscles really were, because my muscles were worked, and I am human and things are going to happen and it's okay if it was slightly painful. But I know that it wasn't as painful as it could have been and how it has been in the past. And so I'm celebrating that. I am so excited I was able to still do everything that I wanted to do this week and was I a little sore? Absolutely.

But that's okay. The other thing I wanted to share with you about this, about stories, is the more that you look at and get curious about stories that you are telling yourself, the easier it's going to be for you to recognize when a story isn't true or call yourself out on something as well. Because at the end of the day, you have to take responsibility for yourself. You have to take responsibility for your words, deeds, thoughts and actions. And the more that you take responsibility for that, the more that you are going to be willing to change.

Also with stories, I believe that stories, I believe it's really important to give yourself permission to analyze the story with great curiosity, without judgment and with a ton of compassion. Because the more that you allow this to happen, the more you'll be like, "Oh yeah, I'm a little nervous about this part. Yeah, let me think about this a little bit more. How am I creating some nervous energy about this? How am I preventing myself from moving forward because I am nervous? What other fears do I have around this that's also preventing me from moving forward?"

If you sit and ask yourself some questions around the things that you're catching, you'll have a deeper understanding of the story and how it's affecting you and influencing you. I want you to stop telling yourself lies, but it first starts with getting curious about the stories you're telling yourself, and then you can simply just state that "That's just not true anymore. We're going to work on this."

And let me tell you guys, I'm so excited that I went to the dentist and got this mercury filling out. I know that you probably don't want to hear about my teeth, but I think it's just a really good example of how we can be in fear and that fear can be preventing us from taking deep, deep care of ourselves as well. And I'm navigating my fears with a lot of ease and grace, and as they come up, I'm just willing to start looking.

So take the time to harness your power. Take the time to take action. Take the time to look at where you have to take responsibility and where you can take action on the changes that you're wanting to make. You are incredible, my friend. Remember, you are powerful, stand in your power in a humble way.
I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. Please make sure you like and subscribe, and if you think that this will help a friend, please share it. All right, guys. Have an amazing, amazing day. Bye.