Episode 38: Letting Go of Disappointment

Hello everyone and welcome to today's show. I'm so excited you are here. Today we're going to be talking about disappointment. I have a different show plan for today, but I just kept getting this guidance to talk about disappointment. And I think that it's really important that we explore disappointment with great curiosity because, at some point in time in our life, we have all been disappointed by something, someone, or some event.

And I think that when we look at disappointment through the lens of love, we have the opportunity to allow ourselves to grow and get a different perspective and so much more. So let's first look at the definition of disappointment. This definition is from Oxford languages and the definition is sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations or a person, event, or thing that causes disappointment.

I want to highlight expectations. I once heard a quote from someone. And I have no idea who this is from because I heard it from someone through something and that was, "The leading cause of divorce is because of unmet expectations." I think this quote has stuck out to me for so long because I think that at some point in time, our expectations are not going to be met in a relationship or in an event. And how we choose to overcome those expectations can cause a lot of hurt, grief, and sorrow or it can allow us to learn from the experience.

I know one time my husband and I, went on vacation and I was so excited about this vacation because I took the time to research the Airbnb we were going to be at. We were just so thrilled. This is the first time we were going somewhere really cool that was different than our normal places. And we spent a lot of money on the Airbnb because it was our anniversary and I was super excited about it. And we got to this Airbnb and I was so disappointed because it looked nothing like the pictures. It looked nothing like the pictures.

It was filthy and my expectations weren't met. I was really sad. I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I explained this to my husband, but I had to make a decision right then and there if I was going to allow that to affect the rest of our trip. Even though my expectations were not met, was I going to allow that one experience to change our entire experience of what we were there to do?

And the answer was no, I wasn't. Because my expectations of cleanliness is different than others. And yes, I was paying money, but I didn't want to allow that to fester and grow into a monster. And anytime we allow our disappointment to fester, it can grow into a monster. And that monster can take over our tongue and lash out at any point in time because we're letting it grow inside of us. And when we find the opportunity to lash out in whatever way, it's going to come out. And so when it comes to disappointment, we want to let it go, we want to step back. Sometimes it's important we have to step back and we have to go, "What were my expectations in this situation?"

And why am I truly disappointed because my expectations weren't met? I think by asking these two questions is really important because it allows you to humanize the situation. It also allows you to step back as if it's not happening to you, even if it is. But it allows you to observe from the bigger picture. It also allows you to get a different perspective. And with perspective comes compassion.

Also with perspective, you gain clarity. And clarity is key because I think that when you start to become the observer and you have the opportunity to ask these questions, you also have the opportunity to let out any frustration that you may be experiencing, any disappointment that you may be experiencing, any sadness you may be experiencing. And by letting it out, you're actually acknowledging your emotions and you're freeing that energy from your cells, from your energy field, and you're letting it out. And then clarity will come in through that, letting it out. The key is you got to let it go. You can't hold on to it. And by letting it go, you're freeing it up.

Now, how can you let it go? Well, one, you can ask these questions. Two, you can sit and talk with someone about the situation. So for me, in that moment in time when that happened, I explained to my husband I was upset. I vented in a healthy way that I was upset, my expectations weren't met and I was disappointed. But we were going to move on and move forward and we're still going to have fun. Now, did this all occur within a 1 minute time period? Absolutely not. Give yourself some space to process. Depending on the situation will depend on how much time you have to process it. It is also okay to process it at a different moment.

So, for example, this week I had some meetings I was supposed to go to. The meeting I went to didn't go as planned. And so I had to make a quick decision to manage my disappointment right there and then. Otherwise, I wasn't going to be able to have clarity on what to do next. And so if I have to get into clarity quickly, I will say, "I know I'm disappointed. It's okay. We're going to work this through. We'll acknowledge more disappointment later if that is necessary. But at this moment in time, I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for that, and we're going to move forward." And this might be a little hoo-ra-ra cheerleader talk that I'm going to give to myself internally so I can work through it quickly and we can move forward.

Later that night, I sat down and went through and recapped what I was disappointed about, why my expectations weren't met. But I couldn't do that at that moment in time because I had to move forward quickly based on the situation that was occurring. Now at nighttime, I sat there and went through it thoroughly in a healthy way so that I could let it go the very next day and I wasn't taking it with me to bed. And that's really key. I think that sometimes our sleep can be really affected by our expectations not being met in something during the day.

And if you're not sleeping well, ask yourself, where have my expectations not been met today? Or notice your thoughts and notice if you are thinking about something that has caused your expectations not to be met and why. And then sit there and do the exercise. Sit there and think. When I say think, it's not spiraling into negativity. It's analyzing, stepping back from the situation with the understanding that you're there to gain clarity and shift and heal from the experience.

Again, remember, if you let it faster, it will grow into a monster. We don't want that. We want to free ourselves from the disappointment. That does not mean you're being overly positive. That means that you're taking a very healing approach. That means is you're taking an approach that will allow you to evolve.

The one last thing I want to say about disappointment is that it's really important to not take it personally to the point where you are questioning your values and your worth. Sometimes our expectations are not met for many different reasons, and it does not have to do with your value or your self-worth. Now, with that being said, you might have someone that's causing you to feel disappointment that you have outgrown because they're not respecting you and they are taking advantage of you.

If that is the case, you have to look at what is my self worth and how is this person of service and how is this person not of service being in my life. And it's really important to take a step back because there are times when we are disappointed because someone is taking advantage of us. And it's really important that you stand in your power and look at the situation very honestly and see if that person is meant to be in your life anymore. And if they are meant to be in your life, but they are causing your expectations not to be met, they're causing disappointment. And it's something that you feel that you both can talk about and overcome, then set a really healthy boundary and have open communication with that person or that business so that your expectations can be met, or you can have a different perspective on the situation.

Because sometimes we might be disappointed because we perceive the situation in one way and then the other person has the opportunity to share their perspective and it shifts your perspective to compassion for the other person, where you're not placing blame, you're not disappointed anymore because you were missing that key piece of information. And that's okay, because we are all human, we all perceive things sometimes from a past experience, and it affects the way that we're doing business or being in relationship. And so if that is happening, forgive, move on, and it's great and let go, right?

So I hope you've enjoyed this episode. I don't want you to live in a space of disappointment. I want you to live in a space of love and light and acknowledge the emotions as they're coming through because you deserve to live heaven on Earth. So make sure that you fulfill your desire to bring that love in and let go of the disappointments and handle them along the way.

All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I look forward to seeing you in the next one. Please make sure you like and subscribe. And also don't forget to sign up for the Soul Evolution Masterclass series that is happening on August 22 through the 26th. It's free, it's fun. It's five days and we're going to do lots of fun, cool of things when it comes to manifesting and the Akashic records. You can click the link in the show notes or go to my website at theamyrobeson.com. See you soon. Bye.