Episode 10: Overcoming Self-Conscious Thoughts

Throughout our lifetime, we can have moments where we become self-conscious. And when we have those moments, if we attach certain feelings of shame or guilt, resentment, anger, whatever it is that is not of the highest vibration, it can cause those self-doubts, those self-conscious thoughts to be buried within our field, within our mind, within our energy system, within our subconscious. When this happens, those thoughts that we are wrestling with, those behaviors that we're wrestling with, can come up through experiences that make us feel more of those same feelings. I'll give you an example.

When I was little, I was extremely self-conscious about the way that I would speak. I grew up in a neighborhood that was very diverse, and it was definitely the ghetto. And I had a particular way that I would say things. My mom also made up her own words. And so, I would often say things that were not in the most correct proper English.

And so I've worked really hard on learning how to speak more properly. Do I still make mistakes? Absolutely. But anytime someone would correct me on the way that I would say a word, I would take it very personally, and that would create a lot of shame. And it would keep attracting more and more of these experiences into my life where people would constantly correct the way that I was speaking, which then made me more self-conscious about it. And it's really hard when we are self-conscious about something to overcome it if these are the things that keep coming to us.

Now in today's episode, I'm going to share five ways to overcome self-conscious thoughts so you can start creating a more empowering experience in your life. So the first step is to be really honest with yourself if you're self-conscious about something. So for me, I knew that I was very self-conscious about the way that I would speak, and it would bring a lot of shame when anybody would correct it. I had to get really honest with myself that this was something for me to look at and for me to heal and for me to explore and get more honest about.

The next step is to be willing to get messy. So often, we will push away something that we are scared of looking at and addressing. And so, the first step is to be honest. But the second step is to get messy. And that is looking at what it is that you're truly self-conscious about and the feelings behind them.

We want to look at the feelings behind the self-conscious thought so that we can get really deep with what's going on on the inside. And for me, that shame was very real; anytime someone would correct me and how I got messy with it and more honest about it is, I started talking to my friends or significant other about it so that I could start untangling the shame that was attached to the self-conscious thought and behavior that I was experiencing. And getting messy can look very, very different for you. I do think that talking about what it is that you're self-conscious about with someone that you trust, someone that you feel safe with, is huge because it allows you to unpack what's going on inside. And this could be through a therapist, a healer, a friend, a family member, or a significant other.

The one thing is you need to make sure that you feel safe sharing these. Now, you might feel uncomfortable, and it's okay to feel uncomfortable because where the true healing lies is going to be outside of that comfort zone. And so, getting messy is going to be really big when it comes to overcoming this.

The next step is to invite compassion in, and these steps can all be done simultaneously. So being honest, then getting messy and inviting compassion in around the feelings that you have is really important. Because when you're compassionate with yourself, the constriction in your energy will start to soften that anxiety or the edge that you might be feeling, or the shame that you might be feeling, or the guilt that you might be feeling. Whatever the feeling is around, it will start to soften. And when you invite compassion in, you're inviting in self-love. You're inviting in self-acceptance, which will allow your heart to recognize your true wholeness and your true essence. You are made of love. You deserve to experience peace within. Being human is messy, and we attach different emotions around societal pressures or societal norms.

And for me, looking at everyone else, having a different experience, and being able to speak properly was extremely shameful for me. And I had to be honest that I didn't speak properly, that there were words that I didn't know how to properly say, or I've been mispronouncing for a very long time. And that's okay because as I work on this, I will learn how to speak properly. I will learn how to articulate the enunciation of that particular word. And it is okay if I don't right away.

It's okay if I make a mistake. And that's the thing. You have to be willing to make a mistake. You have to be willing to get messy with this while you're inviting in compassion as well.

And to this day, guys, I still say words wrong, and it's an ongoing joke in my house with my husband because he will catch a word that I've been saying wrong all of my life. I'm like, “How do you properly say it? Like, I don't even know how to say it!” And so, instead of having guilt around this self-conscious behavior, now I invite laughter in, and we find humor in the way that I'm saying it because I've said it wrong my entire life, and that is okay.

That brings us to the next step, which is forgiveness. Forgiveness is huge. Forgiving yourself for any feelings that attach to it, forgiving yourself for any reactions that you have to whatever it is that you're self-conscious about will open you up to heal on a deeper level. Forgiveness also invites support from your guide. Forgiveness also invites a new vibration for you to experience something new. And when we forgive, we clear out the old emotions.

Now, with that being said, forgiveness can take some time. And if you've been working on something you've been self-conscious around, saying you forgive yourself once is not going to do the trick. You do want to practice forgiveness on a daily basis. Practice forgiveness on transgressions that you knowingly do and unknowingly do. Forgiveness whenever you do make a mistake that brings you back into an old pattern or old behavior. This forgiveness will open your eyes up to new possibilities and the way that you can interact with yourself in your life and others as well. And so forgiveness is going to be key.

The next step is starting off small, and it is okay to not have it all figured out in the beginning. And so for me, when I realized I was very self-conscious and I got really honest with myself, I didn't go, “I'm going to be the perfect person.”. And when it comes to speaking properly, I didn't say that. What I did was I just gave myself permission to start working on words that I knew I had an issue pronunciating well, and I would take my time to study and pronunciate and practice that word. Do I still have lots of words that I don't know how to say properly? Absolutely. And are all of them known to me? Absolutely not. And by starting off small, I'm in a completely different place of approaching and looking at things when they do come up for me to look at and explore. So start off small.

Don't assume that you're going to be able to nip this in the bud with the very first try. Don't try to go extremely big where then you're frozen in fear and you're not able to take action steps in overcoming and getting honest with yourself about what it is that you're self-conscious about and how to go about navigating a new vibration as you work on overcoming that self-conscious behavior or thought or experience.

So let me list those back to you again. So there are five steps, being honest with yourself, get messy, invite compassion in, forgive and start off small. You are amazing. You can overcome anything you're self-conscious about.

Remember, you can work with someone as well to assist you with this. Talking to someone is very powerful. Make sure you feel safe when you're talking with that person, and if you don't feel safe, you can check in why do I not feel safe? Because the person might not be the person to talk to about it and that might be your intuition saying not the right person. Or it might be an invitation to look at something else first before going to that self-conscious thought or behavior that you have, and that might be the first layer of your onion to look at first.

You are amazing. You are a miracle, and you deserve to live heaven on Earth. So do the work and dig deep because you are a gold mine. You are definitely a gold mine.

All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Make sure you subscribe and rate the podcast. I would greatly appreciate it. Sending you lots and lots of love and light. Bye.