Episode 4: Toxic Positivity is Killing Your Manifesting Mojo

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “Stay positive, only good vibes.” I think these messages are well intended, and I’m a big believer in positive thinking. I’m a big believer in the law of vibration. How you vibrate, the way your thoughts vibrate is the things that you attract into your life. So we’re always constantly working with the universe, and the universe is blessing us with more things, more experiences based on our vibration.

Now, with that also being said, I think there’s a problem that is occurring in society in general. I think it’s a huge problem in the spiritual community, and that is toxic positivity, and it’s a big topic. I believe that positive thinking can get you so far, but true work, the true healing, occurs when you feel safe enough or brave enough to look at your emotions. So let me say that slightly different. Real healing begins when you’re allowing and practicing the act of acknowledging your feelings, feeling your feelings, and not running away from your feelings.

And the more that you give yourself this opportunity, the easier it will be to shift your vibration into attracting the things that you want into your life. But most importantly, you’ll start to feel really, really good. And most people think, well, if I acknowledge that I’m mad or I’m sad or I’m angry, won’t I bring that more into my life? The answer to that is yes and no.

No, you’re not going to bring more of that into your life if you’re taking a moment to feel your feelings, acknowledge how you’re feeling, process them and not shove them down. Yes, you can attract more of that into your life if you constantly are in a state where you are in that vibration or that feeling or that thought for a very long period of time where it becomes your personality. There’s a huge difference in taking a moment or a day to process what it is that you’re processing. Now, you might need more time to process things, especially if you’re grieving or you’re upset about something or you’re confused. It is okay to take time to process those emotions.

And the reason why I’m saying toxic positivity is killing your manifesting mojo, it’s because it’s creating this manic type of energy of “I have to be positive.” And this manic energy becomes really constricting in the energy field. And it doesn’t give you space to breathe. It doesn’t give you space to be upset.

You’re human, and you’re having a human experience, and it is okay to feel different emotions. You are human and you’re having a human experience, and it is okay to have different emotions arise through those experiences. And I’m going to say that slightly different. You are a soul having a human experience, and because you are having a human experience, you have the ability to experience emotions.

Emotions are deemed good or bad by society. I want you to take off your society cap. I want you to unplug from society and let go of any messages that you heard about emotions and give yourself permission to feel your emotions. The more that you give yourself to feel your emotions in that particular moment, the easier it is to process them. And the easier it is for the emotion to be transmuted into love and light.

I have seen people where they’re like, I’m doing all these things. I’m trying to say positive and the work that they really have to be doing, the work that would be necessary to do, the work that would be the most beneficial to do is to actually stop being positive for a moment and get really real with themselves on what’s going on internally.

And I’ve talked about uncensored journaling before on the show, and I’m a big believer this is a great place to brain dump, to energy dump, to emotionally dump into a space, in a safe container that allows you to not have a persona that is always positive. Now, let me preface this. I’m going to say this again. I’m a big believer in positivity can bring beautiful experiences into your life.

I am not in any way, shape, or form telling you not to be positive. What I want to encourage you to do is take the time to process and acknowledge when something is not going the way that you wanted it to go, or if you’re upset, or if you’re sad, or if you’re feeling shame or you’re feeling guilt or you’re feeling worried. Don’t let those emotions consume you and take over your life. But it is perfectly okay to be upset about something. It is perfectly okay to be sad about something.

I know my husband and I, we’ve been working on a project, and it did not go as planned. And it brought up all sorts of emotions within me. And I was talking to my husband about it, and I was just telling him, I’m really upset about this. And he goes, “Amy, being upset about it’s not going to get you anywhere.” I said “yes, being upset about it for a very long period of time is not going to get me anywhere. But being upset at this moment and acknowledging that I’m upset is very healthy for me to do.”

And my husband wasn’t telling me not to be negative like that wasn’t what he was trying to do. He was just trying to make me feel better. But sometimes when we are trying to comfort our family members, our friends, or our colleagues, we try to bring positivity in, and sometimes it’s not the place to bring it in. It’s because we’re not sure.

And this kind of happens because we’re not sure how to react to that person. And sometimes it’s just the act of just going, “Man, I know that you’re hurting, and I’m sorry that you’re hurting. That really sucks.” Sometimes that’s all you want to hear. And just feeling acknowledged can help someone process what it is that they’re feeling as well.

Now, it’s not healthy when you or a family member or friend or colleague goes down a rabbit hole of negativity and you’re negativity buddies. That’s not what I’m talking about either. It’s just being in a space to hold someone in a container that allows them to process their emotions in a really positive, healthy way.

It’s truly about being able to hold space for someone and yourself to process emotions in a healthy way. And I’m going to underline healthy. You are a soul having a human experience and you want to bring healthy habits into your life. And when you bring those healthy habits, like processing your emotions and feeling your feelings, you make space for the things that you want in your life because they’re not being shoved down to be processed at a later date. Remember your energy bank. Your energy field has a certain volume it can hold. So clean out the old junk. Start processing your emotions. You deserve to bring the things that you want into your life. The possibilities of what you can manifest are endless.

So if you’ve been trying so hard and you’ve been being so positive, stop being so positive. Take a moment to look at the fears around what you’re wanting to manifest. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of if I manifest this very thing?” Instead of going “I’m journaling, I’m being positive. I’m doing all these things”…but have you taken the moment to look at your fears, anxieties, and stresses? Have you also taken a moment to look at your behaviors and your interactions throughout the day and see how they’re also influencing your manifesting abilities?

These all play into your experience in life. We are meant to experience things. Experiences are deemed good or bad by society. Stop deeming them good or bad. Stop deeming emotions and reactions good or bad. And when you stop doing that, stop deeming them good or bad, you will start manifesting like wildfire because you’re in a space to receive; you’re in a space to be open to new things. You’re also creating space. So give yourself permission to feel your feelings.

I want to encourage you to go deeper with this. I want to encourage you to be the observer in your life of your actions, your thoughts, your worries, your deeds. And start living life. And stop deeming things good or bad. And just be. Just surrender. All right.

I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. I’m sure this topic will come up more as we continue this crazy journey that we call life. So have fun. Take care and I will see you soon. Bye.