Episode 268: Start Before You’re Ready: Give Yourself Permission & Overcome Fear

Let’s have a conversation. Everything in life comes down to the permission you grant yourself. No one in life is going to give you permission to do the things that you want to do. It’s only you that gets to decide that. And since we’re talking about permission, I just want to let you in on a little secret that I have. But before I let you in on my little secret, I have to get ready for a live Crystal show. So come get ready with me, and I’ll share my secret while we get ready. So let’s go. No one is going to grant you permission to do the things you want to do. Not your partner, not your boss, not your friend, not even your higher self, and no, not the algorithm. You have to grant yourself permission.

I bet there’s always something holding you back. Some excuse, some reason, some person, Some circumstance, some I’ll do it when I have, some I’ll do it when I’m ready. And here’s the thing.

Ready is not a place you arrive. Ready is a decision you make, and it’s only a decision you can grant.

Here’s my secret. I’ve been holding myself back. I have not granted myself permission. Over the last 10 years, I can look back at my career and at my business, and I can simply see the one thing I have not given myself permission to do.

I started my business with excitement and enthusiasm. My husband and I even eloped my first year in my business. We got married in Saint Croix. When we went there, I was like, I’m going to film so much because this is going to be the fabric of my business. And guess what? I used some excuse for some reason, and I never did it.

I’ve always wanted to vlog. The way I envisioned my business from the very beginning was through video production, through a cinematic experience. I wanted it to be spirituality in motion.

And here’s the thing. I have wanted to do this for a very long time. Ten years, to be exact. I had this desire to vlog spirituality, to bring emotion to what a spiritual life looked like. But I was too scared, way too scared.

If I look back at my honeymoon from 10 years ago, I filmed myself while on my honeymoon doing weird yoga poses, and I never shared them because I was too scared.

I used every excuse, every reason. I thought I would be judged. I thought I would be persecuted. I thought no one would like it. I thought my husband would give me a hard time. And so I kept pushing and pushing and pushing the desire away.

I was using my excuses to not do the thing I wanted to do. I can pinpoint all these weird little pieces of equipment I bought thinking that would give me permission.

I needed a new camera, a new lens, a new light. But here’s the thing. I was out reversing the permission and using the equipment as the excuse.

Then I could even pinpoint when I decided, Oh, well, maybe if I just do a live. I remember Remember the first time I did a live? I was in the Facebook group called the Flash Mob. It doesn’t even exist anymore. The creator of that Facebook group, her name was Samantha, and it was really cool. She would invite different healers to take over the Facebook group for 24 hours. There’s all different healers, and she invited me to do it. I was going to say no. Let me tell you something. I’m so grateful I said yes because it helped me get my fear of being on camera, speaking in front of people. I did my first Akashic Record channel healing, and it was the best decision I ever made. Then I started my Facebook group called Awakening with Amy Robeson, but it was first called Spiritual Espresso. And that little safe haven was protection and safety because it was safe and it was private. But I used that as an excuse to not do the things that I wanted to do. I would make different decisions in my life and in my business to keep me safe from giving myself permission to do this.

As long as I was preparing, I didn’t have to be seen. As long as I was preparing, I didn’t have to be judged. And this is the sneaky way we outsource permission. I get it. Some of those reasons are valid. However, when you notice the pattern, it’s always something outside of yourself that gets to decide when you begin. And that’s the trap. Because if you live that way, you will always find a reason. Even when the reason changes, the pattern stays the same. For 10 years, I had reasons, from equipment to schedule to knowledge to worthiness. But here’s the thing. All of those reasons are dressed up fears. Each fear is dressed up in a different outfit. And you might ask, But what’s the fear? The fear of being successful, the fear of being judged, the fear of losing money, the fear of not making enough money, the fear of losing relationships, the fear of looking stupid.

It’s the fear of being seen, truly seen. If I’m being honest, that’s my fear. You’re going to see me in a different light, in a different way I’ve always shown up.

So many fears, all dressed up in different outfits. If we even get more macro on this, it’s the fear of success, because no one’s going to say this out loud.

What I want you to notice is the pattern. It’s always something outside of you that gets to decide when you’re allowed to begin. And that is the trap.

If you actually do the thing you’ve been called to do, you can’t go back to playing small without it hurting. And sometimes we rather stay in the familiar discomfort, then step outside our comfort zone into the unknown. I’m going to say this lovingly and clearly to you. Those nudges, those feelings are not going to go away. You’re being called to do something, and that calling will continue to call you until you take action on it, until you give yourself permission to do it. So the question becomes, becomes, how much longer are you going to wait? How much longer are you going to delay your life? Because here’s what I had to accept. I kept waiting for someone or something to give me permission when the whole point of becoming who I’m meant to be is to learn how to give it to myself. That is growth, that is initiation, and that is leadership. So what if you want to do something different? Start something, change something, create something, share something. Change something. Create something. Share something. Here’s what I want you to know. Permission is not a feeling. Permission is a choice. You don’t have to wait until you feel ready.

You decide that you’re doing it, and then you become the person who does it. You also don’t wait until confidence shows up. You act and then confidence arrives. And yes, your nervous system is going to freak out. I know mine has many times. You might feel vulnerable. You might feel exposed. That does not mean you’re wrong. It simply means it matters. Here is a simple permission practice you can use right now.

Step one, name the thing you’ve been waiting to do. Not the whole dream, just the next expression. Post the video, start the podcast, launch the offer, write the book, apply, leave, begin. For me, it was just simply getting my office ready. Step two, name what you’ve been using as a permission slip. Be honest. Equipment, time, money, support, more learning, more healing, more certainty. For me, this was time. Step three, give yourself a small, real commitment. Not a fantasy a real one. Something you can do in the next 24 to 72 hours. You are allowed to begin before you are ready. Here’s a mantra you can say, I am allowed to begin before I am ready. I am allowed to begin before I am ready. Not because I’m giving you permission, but because I’m reminding you it was always yours.

If you’ve been waiting to give yourself permission, let this be yours. Your sign. In the life that you want, it doesn’t start when everything is perfect. So let this be your permission slip. If you’ve been waiting, this is your sign. It’s always been yours. All right, my friend, here’s the question I have for you. What is it that you’ve been waiting to give yourself permission to do? And are you willing to grant yourself that permission? I’d love to hear from you.