Episode 83: How to Overcome Feeling Stuck In Fear

Hello, my friend, and welcome to today's episode. I am so excited you are here. Let's talk about fear. Fear can cripple us. Fear can keep us stuck in a situation or experience for a long, long time. Fear can be damaging to our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Fear can set you down a path that's not in alignment with your true soul's purposes in this lifetime. And so I like to look at fear as a familiar friend. We all have fears. We are all working on some fear-based experiences from the past. Some are very unconscious, and some are very conscious.

Let me give you an example. Like, I knew I wanted to leave my career seven years before I actually left it. Talk about being stuck in fear for seven years. You can have fear, and fear is okay. I think that it's important that we befriend our fear because when we befriend the fear, it allows us to start to access our courage, and our willpower, in a different way. It allows us to see opportunities and opportunities in a way that we recognize we're capable of accessing them, achieving them, and being a part of.

When you're stuck in fear, two things typically happen. We go into avoidance mode, also called numbing out, where we avoid the thing that we're supposed to be doing because fear has crippled us to the point we have to numb. And numbing could be eating, drinking, scrolling, watching television, or doing a habit that takes you away from the very thing that you're wanting to do. The other thing that we do that happens when we're in fear is we wait. For example, as I said, I waited seven years before I finally left my career to start my own business.

And did I do it before that seven years? Yes. I started taking action on it a year before I left because I was tired of saying, "Next year, next year, next year, next year." And I knew that no matter what I did or said, that unless I took courageous action, nothing was going to change. So ways to get out of fear and to unstuck yourself from the fear mongrel is to take courageous action. The action does not have to be big. It can be small. It can be a small stepping stone, a small act. Every small action you take accumulates and is working towards the sum.

So all these tiny little action steps you take with courage will assist you in getting out of fear. The next thing is to befriend fear. You have to. Just because you're taking courageous action doesn't mean that you're not going to have fear come up because every step you take gets you closer to the goal. And as you get closer to the goal, other fears can pop up out of nowhere, or other concerns you have can pop up out of nowhere, or they've been there, but you're just finally acknowledging them.

It is okay to take courageous action and still have fear that you're experiencing. I think we create this illusion that if I'm doing something towards the goal, I'm not going to be in fear. No, you are going to be in fear, and the only way to get through your fear is to go through it. You have to go through it. And I know for me sometimes just having the permission to go, "Okay, I'm going to do this. Finally, I'm going to do this."

That just creates a different sense of relief and can also create some new fears because you're like, "Oh, I'm actually doing this. Oh my goodness, now what? Now, what do I do?" And then we get caught up in the hows and all this other stuff. And so we have to recognize that fear is going to be there. We got to befriend it. We got to befriend it like we befriend the ego. The ego is going to be a part of the fear mongrel anyways. So if we befriend the ego, we befriend the fear. Then we can go through it differently and remember that the only way through is through. And the more that we befriend that concept, the easier it is to overcome it.

I have a huge fear of the cold. I don't like being cold, and I hate being cold. It's not something I really like to do. And several years ago, I started going, "I've got to befriend cold," because the more that I resist it, the more that I'm in fear of it, the more my health is actually being impacted. And so this fear of cold was impacting my health. And so, I started researching what the cold benefits were. I recognized when I was contracting my energy when I was cold, and I would just go, "Okay, I'm cold. It is okay to be cold." And then, I would relax my armpits while I was cold so I would stop contracting energy. And so part of the fear was being fed by the contracting energy.

And so whenever you're in fear, and you're noticing like you're pulling your energy into, you're tensing up, receive a breath, remind yourself you're safe, relax your energy, go into being in the present moment. Breathe. It's so helpful when you're going through the fear to breathe. The other way to get unstuck from fear, besides going through it, is to have a support system. I think most things in life support systems and breath are key.

And so if you're going through fear and you're like, "I don't know, I've tried everything under the sun, I really want to do this," find a support system. Find a friend you can talk to about it. Find a mentor you can talk to about it. I know for me, when I was leaving my business, I was all caught up in fear, but I gave myself a deadline of one year, six months in, I'm like, "I am nowhere close to being where I need to be, but I am dead serious about this. I am very serious about leaving, and I need support." And I went and hired a coach because it was one of the best ways that I could get out of fear. And the fear went from, "I want to do this thing to I can do it." But now it went to the how, and sometimes we just need support for the how.

Remember, you have access to power deep within you, like, deep, deep, deep within you. And that power is being accessed on a subconscious and conscious level throughout the day. When you're in fear, you must go into, "I'm consciously going towards that fear, and I am capable and able to do this." And the more that you give yourself permission to access it on a conscious level, the easier it is for you to overcome the fear. And remember, overcoming the fear will come in stages. It will look different moment from moment, day by day, month by month. And if we are not working with our fears, we are not growing. And growth is what your soul truly desires to have. Also, your soul is desiring to have something that's outside of that fear.

So remember, the only way through it is through. And you can do it. You're capable of it. I believe in you, my friend. All right, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Please make sure you like and subscribe, and I will see you again soon. Bye.