Episode 71: Practicing Tolerance

Hello and welcome. I'm so excited you are here. Let's talk about tolerance. I think in this day and age, we have to, it's a must, it's a requirement, it is an absolute have to do it. And that is practicing tolerance.

To simply put it, tolerance is an act of accepting differences, and it is okay to be different. I think our world would be a much better place if people didn't get so upset about other people's actions or words. And I think that practicing tolerance is a way to hold space and to practice compassion. When you practice tolerance, it opens the door to new perspectives. It opens the door to empathy.

It also assists you in practicing some spiritual laws as well. So let's talk about the first spiritual law. And that first spiritual law is the art of allowing. So when we have differences and when we think someone should be a certain way, or how we think someone should show up in a certain way and they don't, that can cause disappointment. Especially if you are in a relationship with that person and you love them, and you want them to feel good, and you want them to be healthy, and you want them to have what they desire, but they're doing the polar opposite of that very thing.

Or let's say you have a loved one that wants to go down a path that you don't necessarily agree with or be in a relationship with someone you don't agree with; there's tolerance that has to be incorporated in the relationship in order to still be in the relationship. Also, if we practice the art of allowing, which is practicing acceptance for where that person's at and where that person is going, and what decisions they're making.

If you still love them and want to be in a relationship, it allows you to let go of attachment to what you think that person should be or should be doing or should be acting like. And it allows you to just hold space for the person, so you're accepting and tolerating their ideas, their beliefs, their perception. That does not mean you agree with it. Let me say that again. That does not mean you agree with it.

I have someone in my life I love dearly, and I had a really hard time being around this person when I wasn't practicing tolerance. And the second I said, "You know what, I'm going to accept what is. I'm going to show them empathy. I'm going to practice the law of compassion." Like, I'm going to give them a lot of compassion. I'm going to give compassion to myself. The way I showed up in that relationship was completely different than the way that I was showing up before when the person was just driving me nuts, or I wasn't practicing tolerance, and it would get under my skin.

And I just wanted so much more for this person. And the second I said, "You know what, I'm going to practice tolerance. I'm going to be and hold space for this person in a different way and not sit there in the back of my mind, thinking about all the things that this person could be doing." And I just was with them. And let me tell you how exhausting it is if you're running in the back of your mind all the things that the person could be doing differently and trying to change their mind on things. It's not going to work.

They're the ones that have to come up to that conclusion. If it's in alignment if it's in their reality if it's even something that they can perceive. You can't make them perceive it, no matter how hard you try. And if they're not open to perceiving something differently, you're not going to change their mind. And so, by actually practicing tolerance, one, we allow compassion to come in and empathy to come in. To practice tolerance, one of the things I think is really important to do and necessary to do is to stop and pause and reflect before you react.

And this is really important. So pausing and then reflecting before you react. Because you might want to react in a way that depends on your position. Or you might want to react in a way that is trying to convince the other person of a different perception. And there's nothing you're going to do to change their perception unless they're open to it.

And so if you pause and then you reflect, and then you react, when you're reacting, you're just reacting with a lot of love and compassion. There are certain topics and conversations that I know that I will not get into with certain people. And so if I'm practicing tolerance for someone that's getting into topics that I don't necessarily want to participate in, my reaction will be neutral. And then, my next choice of words is to shift the conversation to something different.

And I think that that's really important. You can hold space, you can acknowledge what the person is saying, and then you can shift the conversation so that you're not going down a rabbit hole where no one's going to win. And I think that that's really important as well. So tolerance doesn't necessarily mean being in complete conversations that aren't going to serve your highest good. And so you can have some wiggle room with tolerance.

And what I mean by wiggle room is you're still holding space, and you're still accepting that there are differences, and that's okay. And then you get to choose a different conversation to have. And if the person is not wanting to have a different conversation. That's where boundaries come up.

And it's "You know, I really love that you are so passionate about this topic. I'm just not in the mood to have this type of conversation right now because I'm processing a lot on my own, and this conversation is triggering me." It could be something like that, or you can say, "I love how passionate you are about this topic. You and I have different views, and I'm accepting of your views what I'm wanting to do is talk about something different at this moment in time. So let's have a conversation. We don't have to agree about this view, but I still love you, and let's talk about this instead."

So you can do something like that. If the boundary is being broken, you have to speak up to allow a different conversation to have. I practice tolerance all the time with somebody that I love dearly, and this person will get very, very, very passionate about politics. We have very different perspectives on politics. I am very open to hearing different point of views on politics. But this person that I love dearly does not like to hear different views. And so it's very hard to have a conversation sometimes. And so when the conversation starts to get heated, I will just say, "I think it's time for us to move on to something different to talk about."

And it's because we've had these conversations many, many times, and this person I love loves talking about politics, and she will just find herself in that conversation sometimes very naturally. And I have to gently move the conversation in a different direction with a firm boundary.

So just because you're practicing tolerance does not mean you're not practicing boundaries. I think boundaries are really, really important to practice no matter what you're doing at any moment in time because it's just a part of our soul's evolution.

Another part of practicing tolerance is embracing differences. And I think that we would get rid of a lot of trolls on social media if we just embrace differences. And we also have the opportunity to reflect and ask more questions about context because a lot of times, things are taken out of context, or the person might not have meant to say it in a particular way, and so then it's taken out of context.

And so I think it's always important to ask questions around what the person meant by that and then embrace the differences that they have. We all grew up in different cultures and different families, and if we embrace each other's differences, it allows us to see things in a different light, and that's where that empathy and compassion can come in as well.

Any time I'm working with someone, or when I mean working with, I'm working on myself. So I'm working within the relationship to practice tolerance. And if I know that this person is something I'm practicing tolerance with before I go and meet that person, I will say, "Hey, Amy, we're practicing tolerance today. Tolerance, tolerance, tolerance." And then I'll breathe, and I'll give myself permission to practice the different spiritual laws, to practice all the steps in tolerance so that I can enjoy my time with the person.

And let me tell you, it completely changes if you're having a hard time with someone at work or a family member or a friend, or let's say you're going to a holiday party or something like that. And you just know that there's a big mix of people that don't have all the same views and values as you. That's perfect. It's time to practice tolerance. Our world would be a much better place if people, just in general, would be like, "Okay, it's time to practice tolerance. That person's triggering me. How can I allow them to have their perspective on this while I also have my perspective?

It's okay for us to agree to disagree, and that's okay. We're not here to change everybody's mind. What we're here to do is recognize our own wholeness and evolve. And if we're hating on the other person and we're not practicing tolerance, how is that any better than what that person is doing that's different than you? It's not. And so tolerance is so important for your spiritual evolution, and it will assist you in having a better relationship with people that you love, that there are differences in the relationship. And it's perfect, and it's awesome.

Alright, my friends, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Please make sure you like and subscribe. I look forward to seeing you in the next one. Remember, practice tolerance. It will make you feel better and have better relationships.

Bye.