Awakening with Amy Robeson- episode 23

Episode 23: Balance with Self-Love

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Explore what self-love really means and how it can it help you find the peace and balance in your life so that you can live each day with joy!

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BALANCE WITH SELF-LOVE

WHAT IS SELF-LOVE?

Self-love is the very act of taking care of yourself on a deep, deep soul level.

Self-love is….

  • Trusting yourself
  • Trusting your intuition
  • Trusting your gut
  • Recognizing the self-sabotaging thoughts that you have about yourself
  • Recognizing the negative thoughts that you might have about yourself

All too often we can go into a spiral with these negative thoughts. Not going into a spiral with them is really important because when we go into a spiral with them, it causes us to be unbalanced. And when we're unbalanced, we make different decisions that are not in alignment with us.

When we're unbalanced, we make different decisions that are not in alignment with us.

FEELING UNWELL

Being unbalanced can create a sort of “unwellness” within us. Something just doesn’t feel right. When you start to feel this discomfort you start to comfort yourself through different coping mechanisms that have worked for you in the past. At some point, these offered immediate relief and allowed you to feel safe and cope with what was going on inside. When we're unbalanced, these coping mechanisms actually cause more unbalance.

So what can we do?

SELF-LOVE

Ask yourself: “What can I do to love myself today? In this particular moment, how can I show myself the love I need to forgive, heal and copy with all of these feelings?”

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES

We all make mistakes. We say things we don't mean, or we do things that we didn't intend on doing and it could possibly hurt someone, or we end up saying something that was kind of silly to say, but we already said it. And then we dwell on how we said it and how we should have said it differently.

So many people are living from past mistakes at this very moment and they don't feel that they can actually get out of those past mistakes. I'm here to tell you that your past is your past. And if you allow your ego to move up to the present moment, you can allow yourself to free yourself from the past. The past is the past.

Please forgive yourself. Please invite your ego up to the present moment so your ego can start participating in the present moment because the way that you view the future in this very moment is what you're going to continue to create in the future.

The past is your past. Please forgive yourself. 

THE PAST IS THE PAST

If you are dwelling on the past and how you made a mistake, how things are unfair, or how you’ve been mistreated, you have to get very honest with yourself. You have to ask yourself how you can love yourself to the next level. You have to give yourself so much self-love that you can break free from your past and move forward.

There are three key ingredients to creating the life you truly want to create:

  1. Trust
  2. Honesty
  3. Forgiveness

It's coming back to those three ingredients that are key in creating the self-love that you can encompass yourself in daily.

The more that you ask yourself, “How can I give myself love today? How can I break free from these chains,” the more you are going to feel like you can actually see a solution to the problem. You can start to recognize where you might be creating the problem.

Give yourself permission to get curious about what's going on during the day and how you're choosing to react to those things. The more curious you become, and the more willing you are to explore the power you do have in every situation, you can be released from the self-sabotaging feelings of unworthiness that are creating a reality you are not aligned with.

Give yourself so much self-love that you can break free from your past.

SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

When we think about setting healthy boundaries, most often we think about saying no to others when we need to and that’s awesome. But sometimes, the person we need to set the boundary with is actually ourselves.

When we get unbalanced, we start doing things that we don't necessarily want to do, and then it creates a cycle where you're constantly breaking boundaries. Breaking boundaries with yourself, breaking boundaries with your values, breaking boundaries with your self-worth or your energy.

We only have so much energy in the day, and if we're giving, giving, giving, and never receiving, it's going to get really unhealthy really, really quick. Part of being in balance is creating really healthy boundaries, and yes, that means boundaries with ourselves as well.

Sometimes, the person we need to set boundaries with is ourselves.

FORGIVENESS IS A PROCESS

Forgiveness asks two things of us to stay in balance: Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others. Both are equally difficult in different ways.

The act of self-love means taking care of yourself on a deep soul level, but it also means that you can forgive yourself for past transgressions. You can forgive yourself for past decisions. You can forgive yourself when it feels impossible to do.

Forgiveness is a process and it has many, many layers. Forgiveness is a practice that has many, many feelings attached to it. It’s not a snap decision of recalling a certain event and just immediately bestowing forgiveness on that situation.

Often times some people are afraid to forgive because:

One, if it’s self-forgiveness, you have to admit that you have done something wrong, or that you know isn’t in alignment with who you really are.

Or two, that if you forgive another person for hurting you, it’s giving them a free pass for causing that pain and it feels unfair to “let them off the hook.”

Forgiveness is simply the act of letting go of the pain the situation caused so YOU can be free of that hurt and find your peace, and joy, and bring more light into your being. It means not holding space for resentment, guilt, or shame, for anger or frustration to live with us in the present reality. It creates space to love ourselves, heal ourselves and create the balance we crave.

Forgiveness is a process and it has many, many layers.

BALANCE IS BEAUTIFUL

We want to find balance. Self-love allows us to start participating in loving ourselves on a deep level and allows us to find balance and allows us to root and ground as well. Because we're trusting ourselves, we're forgiving ourselves, we're setting healthy boundaries. We're also giving ourselves love.

I want to encourage you to…

  • Be true to yourself.
  • Love yourself.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Be kind to others.
  • Give yourself grace.
  • Give yourself compassion.

 

You deserve it.

If you enjoyed this episode with Amy Robeson, we would love to invite you to check out other inspirational episodes by clicking here. Enjoy!

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Full transcription of the episode:

Hello, everyone. I hope you are doing well. I am being guided strongly, I'm going to underline that word, capitalize that word, STRONGLY, being guided to talk about self-love today. And when I'm talking about self-love, I want you to see what really hits home for you because there's something in this message that is meant for you to receive today in terms of how you can really love yourself on a deep soul level. So let's jump in.

All right, so self-love is the very act of taking care of yourself on a deep, deep soul level. It's trusting yourself. It's trusting your intuition, it's trusting your gut. It's recognizing the self-sabotaging thoughts that you have about yourself. It's recognizing the negative thoughts that you might have about yourself and not going into a spiral with them.

Not going into a spiral with them is really important because when we go into a spiral with them, it causes us to be unbalanced. And when we're unbalanced, we make different decisions that are not in alignment with us because we're doing it from a place of, and I'm going to put this into quotations, and I know this is not technically the correct grammar, but this is how I say this: "unwellness."

It creates this unwell feeling inside. And when you feel unwell, you start to comfort yourself through different mechanisms along the way that you have found comfort in the past, that allows you to feel safe or allows you to feel good or allows you to feel as if you can cope with what it is that's going on in the inside.

When you feel unwell, you start to comfort yourself through different mechanisms along the way that you have found comfort in the past, that allows you to feel safe or allows you to feel good or allows you to feel as if you can cope with what it is that's going on in the inside.

And when we're unbalanced, these coping mechanisms actually cause more unbalance. And so the more that we actually lean into the very concept of how can I love myself today? How can I love myself in this particular moment? We all make mistakes. We say things we don't mean, or we do things that we didn't intend on doing and it could possibly hurt someone, or we end up saying something that was kind of silly to say, but we already said it. And then we dwell on how we said it and how we should have said it differently.

There's all sorts of things that we can do throughout the day that we can overanalyze to the point that makes us not feel good, that stresses us out and also causes us not to love ourselves unconditionally on a deep soul level. So the very act of self-love is trusting yourself, is forgiving yourself for mistakes. It's also to be able to look at those mistakes with a lot of love, a lot of compassion, and to give yourself that love and compassion as well. And to forgive yourself on all of the things that you might have done that you didn't necessarily want to do for the day or the mistakes that you've made in the past.

So many people are living from past mistakes in this very moment and they don't feel that they can actually get out of those past mistakes. I'm here to tell you that your past is your past. And if you allow your ego to move up to the present moment, you can allow yourself to free yourself from the past. The past is the past. Please forgive yourself. Please invite your ego up to the present moment so your ego can start participating in the present moment because the way that you view the future in this very moment is what you're going to continue to create in the future.

And so if you are sitting there dwelling on the past and dwelling on how you made a mistake or how things are unfair or how you are poorly mistreated, whatever it is, whatever it is that's causing you to live in the past, you have to get very honest with yourself and go, how can I love myself on the next level? How can I give myself so much self-love that we can break free from the past and start creating the reality that I truly want to create? And that starts with trust, that starts with honesty, that starts with forgiveness. And it's coming back to those three ingredients is going to be key in creating the self-love that you can encompass yourself in daily.

The more that you ask yourself like, how can I give myself love today? How can I break free from these chains? The more you're going to start going like, whew, I actually can see a solution to the problem. I can actually see that I'm creating the problem myself. Half the time, you might not know the answer immediately, but if you give yourself permission to just get curious about what's going on during the day and how you're choosing to react to those things, the more that you'll actually start to see how you're playing into some of the self-sabotaging or unworthiness or unworthiness behaviors that are creating your reality.

Another thing that will assist you in creating a lot of self-love for yourself is, one, having the ability to tell yourself, I love you. Two, setting very healthy boundaries. Sometimes we get into this cycle of unwellness because we are unbalanced. And when we get unbalanced, we start doing things that we don't necessarily want to do. And then it creates a cycle where you're constantly breaking boundaries. Breaking boundaries with yourself, breaking boundaries with your values, breaking boundaries with your self-worth or your energy.

We only have so much energy in the day, and if we're giving, giving, giving and giving and never giving back and never receiving, it's going to get really unhealthy really, really quick. And so we have to create really healthy boundaries and that's boundaries with ourselves as well. I think that sometimes people think it's creating really healthy boundaries with other people. Yes, we do have to create really healthy boundaries with other people.

But for me, like my human design, I'm a generator. I'm an Energizer Bunny. I can go, go, go, go, go and I can create, create, create, create. And if I don't create a boundary with myself on where my energy level is at and where my team is at, or where my ability to create in that particular moment or the amount of work it's going to take, I can burn myself out really quick. And so I have to have boundaries with myself and what I'm willing to create and what has to go on the back burner as well. Because I think that just because you can do it doesn't mean that you should be doing it.

Also, just because you are excited about it, doesn't mean it's also the right time to do it as well. Sometimes things need to percolate. Sometimes we need to put it on the back burner. Sometimes we got to let go of other things in order to allow that other thing to give birth as well. And so boundaries are going to be really important too.

The next part I want to talk about is forgiveness. So the act of self-love means that you can take care of yourself on a deep soul level and also means that you can forgive yourself for past transgressions. You can forgive yourself for past decisions. You can forgive yourself when it feels impossible to do. I know for me, I have made many mistakes in my life and some of those mistakes are gut-wrenching mistakes. Mistakes that have taken me a long, long, long, long time to forgive.

And it's a forgiveness process. It doesn't mean that you make a mistake and that immediately afterward you're like, okay, I forgive myself. No, if you are really grieving what happened or you feel really bad for what happened, it might take some time for you to forgive yourself. Especially as you're working through the emotions of whatever it is that you're forgiving yourself about.

I have found though when you do forgive yourself, that unwellness that's been created in your energy field starts to dissipate. And the feelings that are attached to that very situation, that were stuck within the cells, that were causing dis-ease within the body and the mind and the spirit start to loosen up and start to transmute and start to get cleared so that balance is restored within you.

But forgiveness is the process in that. And I think that often times some people are so afraid to forgive because that means that they one, have to admit that they did something wrong or if they're forgiving someone else, they can't see why they should have to forgive that person if that person has caused them so much hurt. And trust me, I have been hurt by others in the past and it has stung and it has hurt. But the only person that's hurting is me if I don't forgive them. Because I am not allowing more peace into my mind. I am not allowing more peace into my cells. I am not allowing more joy into my body.

And so the very act of forgiving someone else as well as myself invites more joy and invites more love and invites more light into my being. Because I'm not holding space for resentment, for guilt or shame or anger or frustration. That does not mean that once I say I forgive you, there's no more work to be done either. Because when we are on the very act of forgiving someone or forgiving ourselves, it's also a layer process in working through that forgiveness. And you might hit one layer and then all of a sudden you realize there's another layer to look at.

I know for me I have been working on healing and forgiving my relationship with my stepdad for all of my adult life. And it is probably something that I will continue to work on for a very, very, very, very long time. Because as I'm doing it, I'll find forgiveness and then something else is revealed for me to look at, to heal. And then I realize, okay, I need to look at this, I need to participate with this, I need to heal this and then I can start the next layer of forgiveness. But sometimes I have to take a step back from it as well because if I'm only sitting there focusing on I got to work on this deep heavy stuff, work on this deep heavy stuff that gets really heavy too. And then I'm not actually taking care of myself in a loving kind way too.

And so like I said in the beginning, we want to find balance. Self-love allows us to start participating in loving ourselves on a deep level and allows us to find balance and allows us to root and ground as well. Because we're trusting ourselves, we're forgiving ourselves, we're setting healthy boundaries. We're also giving ourselves love. It's so important to give yourself love on a daily basis. Not on an hourly basis, not on a bi-weekly basis. It's on a daily basis. And when I say hourly, I mean it's an all-day thing. You should be able to love yourself all day long for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And I want to encourage you to be true to yourself, to be nice to yourself, to be kind to yourself. Because these are also going to play into the very act of you loving yourself on a deep soul level. Anyways, I hope that there's a part of this message that hits home for you. And I hope that today you catch yourself in a moment where you can give yourself more love than you thought you could the day before.

Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Give yourself grace. Give yourself compassion. You deserve it. Love you all. Have a nice day. See you soon.

Bye.

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2 Comments

  1. Brenda Dillon

    I just need to tell you that that was literally the best thing I could have ever listened to especially these last couple days I just from the first time I ever listened to you to every time I listen to you it's not that it's just simple but I just feel like I can connect with you and I don't know it's almost like you feel what I feel and I really really struggle in that area of self-love and it's something I need to work on a lot harder but I just wanted to thank you very much and you've been a big inspiration to me and I look forward to more of your podcasts thank you happy for the July have a great night

    • Amy Robeson

      Thank you, my dear. 💜

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