Awakening with Amy Robeson- episode 19

Episode 19: How to Receive Support

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We all need support in our lives and yet most of us struggle to ask for support when we need it. Even when it’s readily available, sometimes we aren’t sure how to receive the support that’s offered. Here's how.

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HOW TO RECEIVE SUPPORT

ONE QUESTION

I want to ask you one question and I want you to sit with it and really pay attention to the first thing that comes to mind. Trust that answer.

The question is if you could pinpoint one area of your life right now where you could really use some extra support, what would that area be?

Now I want to ask you another question: Are you willing to receive support? Identifying the support you need is the easier question, but the hard part is actually being willing and able, and capable of receiving the support. But you deserve support. You are worthy of the support you need!

Are you willing to receive support?

LEAN ON ME

I can speak on this from experience. I had a terribly difficult pregnancy and I really had to lean on my team to support me during that pregnancy and keep things running in my business. I've also had a lean into my family, into my friends, into my support system. It wasn’t easy for me, but it was a learning experience and one I am grateful for.

But even still, I can find myself dragging my feet on asking for and even being willing to receive support in every area of my life. It’s all too easy to complain about areas we are struggling with, maybe even expecting someone to “take the hint” and jump in to save us. But it’s super important to identify what we need ourselves and then ask for that support from the people in our community who can offer it!

We are meant to be held in community. We are worthy to receive support.

GIVE AND TAKE

When we talk about being a part of a community, so often we focus on what we can give to that community. And that’s super important. But there is a balance of giving AND taking, meaning receiving support when you need it. What is holding you back from accepting the support you need and desire?

Sometimes we might be so stubborn that we don't even realize someone's actually wanting to support us, but we're just so caught up in the minutiae and the thing that's overtaking us or overwhelming us or exhausting us that we can't even see that support around us. Are you being a perfectionist and struggling to hand over something in fear it won’t be done right? These are all things that can hold us back from lightening our load and avoiding burnout. We can only do so much on our own before our cup is completely empty!

We need to really open our hearts to fully receive the gifts and the support that community wants to give back to us.

YOUR CIRCLE AND BEYOND

Part of asking for support is knowing who to ask for the support you need. Your inner circle of friends, family, co-workers, and community contacts are perfect for those personal things like helping you pack, watching your child or children, and getting advice or feedback in an area you know the person is well-versed in. These are amazing ways to receive support.

But when you have a need your community cannot fill, let’s say fixing your car. Taking your car to a professional to get the service you need is also a form of being supported. Hiring someone to do a job you can’t do or don’t want to do is a way to recognize you need support and seek it out. There are so many ways we can give ourselves permission to stop flying solo, and allow other helping hands to assist us in meeting our needs!

What exactly do you need support in? What exactly do you not want to be doing anymore?

LOOK FOR THE HELPERS

When I was a kid, I enjoyed Mr. Rogers. I still do. This quote really speaks to me about recognizing who your support system is…

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping’." - Mr. Fred Rogers

When life gets scary, this is exactly what we should be doing. Looking around for the helpers. Our helpers. Whatever you find scary in your life right now, there's someone that can help you with that problem. There's someone that can help you overcome that fear. There's someone out there that can help you get your things together in the way that you want them to be.

Oftentimes, people think that if I just do this alone, it will get done quicker. And that's just so not true. I want to encourage you to figure out who can support you in the area that you identified earlier because you deserve to have that support in your life. I love talking things out with people. I often find that when I talk things out, I can come up with a solution ten times quicker. Reach out when you need help. Talk it out. Figure it out. Together!

Whatever you find scary in your life right now, there's someone that can help you with that problem.

GO WITH THE FLOW

I think it’s a great idea to look at where you might be holding yourself back in your life. Where are you the bottleneck in your life? Do you keep saying that you're going to get something done and you haven't? Get really real.

And I want to encourage you to just rip the bandaid off. Rip the bandaid off. Because the quicker you rip that bandaid off and get honest with yourself on who and what can support you in doing the very thing that you're wanting to get done, you're going to feel so much lighter, so much more grounded, and you're going to start having that momentum to be moving forward.

We want to work with momentum. This is called flow; being in flow. When we lean into support (and support could just be simply leaning into God or Jesus or the divine), we are held in a different container of love. It's not the container: "I'll do it by myself. I got this. I'm okay." You're not alone. You're not alone. The universe will support you. When you lean into that container, the universe will go, ‘Here's an option, here's an option, here's an option, here's an option.’ The universe is always ready, willing, and EXCITED to help you!

The universe will support you.

Let me end with this quote. "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mom would say to me look for the helpers. You will always find people who are willing to help."

Look for your helpers, my friends. You deserve to have support and they will help you through the scary things and through any changes you are afraid of. Always remember, you are not alone!

 

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Full transcription of the episode:

We're gonna start off with a question in the beginning of this episode, and the question is, and I want you to sit with this and whatever the first answer is that comes to mind or percolates through your system first, trust that answer. Okay. And the question is if you could pinpoint one area of your life right now where you could really use some extra support, what would that area be?

So I'm going to share the question again. If you could pinpoint one area of your life right now where you could really use some extra support, what would that area be? Now that you got that answer, I want to ask you another question. Are you willing to receive support? Are you willing to receive support? I think identifying the area that we need support in, that we could definitely receive some support in is easy. I think that's the easy part. The hard part is actually being willing and able and capable of receiving the support.

I know for me, over the last few years, I have really leaned into the support of my tea. From being pregnant, having a really awful pregnancy, a really hard pregnancy, I really had to lean on my team to support me in that pregnancy, keeping things running. I've also had a lean into my family, into my friends, into my support system, and from other areas of my life or support as well as I continue to grow. But I always recognize that I can start complaining about things that I would really like support in, but sometimes I drag my feet on actually receiving the support, and being willing to accept the support.

And so today I want to talk about one is why support is so important and then being able to actually take steps in receiving the support willingly, even if it's scary for you to do so. First off, we are meant to be supported in our life. We are meant to receive support. We are worthy to receive support. We are meant to be held in community. We are meant to give back in community as well. And so when we give to others, we're also meant to receive from others, too.

And I think so often it's so easy for us to give, give, give, give, give and never really open our heart up to fully receive the gifts and the support that community wants to give back to us. And sometimes that support is hard to recognize. Sometimes we might be so stubborn that we don't even realize someone's actually wanting to support us, but we're just so caught up in the minutiae and the thing that's overtaking us or overwhelming us or exhausting us that we can't even see that support around us.

And so in order to receive support, we have to, one, have to admit that we need support. So that's step number one. The next step is to actually look at how can I receive support? Is it through someone coming to help me? Is it asking for support? Is it letting go of certain expectations or perfectionism? Because that's also going to be really, really important. And so when you can start looking at, like, how can I receive support? You'll start opening yourself up to new avenues. We also want to receive support because burnout is very real. And when we're not being supported, our tank, our cup can get really, really, really, really low.

And I know for me, I was just talking to my husband about moving. We've moved a lot, and we were talking about how I always find someone to come and help me pack. And he goes, It's crazy to me how you always find someone to come and help you pack and he's like, I've never had that before. And it's very interesting for him to watch that unfold. And for me, I know that packing is very overwhelming to me. It's a very stressful task for me to start looking at it. And I know that I will have more fun when someone comes to help me. I know that I also feel more grounded when someone comes and helps me do it.

And it's one of those things where I know that if I ask, someone will show up and someone will support me and I trust that the right person will come and support me. And I want that. I'm very clear that I want that support. And I'm so grateful. My mom actually came and helped before we just moved into this new house. She got on the airplane, came, and helped. I was really grateful for her helping. And it saved me time in my day. It saved me a lot of stress and saved me a lot of worries.

And so know that someone is always willing to support you if you ask for support. I know that sometimes asking for support can be really, really hard for some people, but when you do ask, it's okay if the other person says no. It just might not be the right time for them or might not work for them, or it just doesn't make sense for them to do it. So if you know that you are really needing some support in different areas, one, you can see who in your inner circle can support you. That won't cost you anything.

Or maybe you can trade or barter with them to support you in the thing that you need support in. Also know not all family members, friends, your inner circle are meant to support you in every area of your life. Sometimes receiving outside support from your circle of influence is super uber duper duper beneficial.

For example, I'm not going to ask a friend of mine that has no clue how to fix my car for support. I'm going to take my car to a professional to get it fixed because I know that it's going to be done the proper way. I know that I will be supported. And I know that my friend doesn't know how to do it. And so it doesn't make sense to ask for them to do something that's not their expertise. So know that you can find support in many ways. And support can look different for person to person or task to task.

And just because it didn't work out last time doesn't mean it's not going to work out this time. So know that when you're looking at the areas that you're really needing support in, I want you to be honest about the area. What exactly do you need support in? What exactly do you not want to be doing anymore?

Because the clearer you get on the things that you do want and you don't want. And yes, I am saying what you don't want. For me, I'll do an audit in my business of tasks that I'm doing on a consistent basis that I don't want to be doing anymore. And as we grow as a company, I'll look at who on the team can support doing this task, or who can I hire to support this task? And it's hard to let go of tasks, especially if you've been doing them for a really long time.
And just because you're good at doing them doesn't mean that you're meant to be doing them. I know that I just recently got rid of a task that I've been holding on to for way too long. But I realized I was the bottleneck in keeping things moving in my business. And so I had to get really real with myself. Just because I'm doing it does not mean that I need to be doing it anymore. And that having someone to support me in that task is more beneficial because I'm not stressed out, I'm not worried about it. I don't feel behind. I don't feel like I'm letting someone down. I don't feel all the feelings that are coming up. And I can actually just focus on the things that I really want to be doing.

And I think that for some people, this can be really, really scary to let go of those things. And I'm going to read you a quote by the famous Mr. Rogers, Fred Rogers, who I loved Mr. Rogers growing up. But that's a side note. Anyways, here's a quote from him. "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me look, for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping." Whatever you find scary in your life right now, there's someone that can help you with that problem. There's someone that can help you overcome that fear. There's someone out there that can help you get your things together in the way that you want them to be. There is someone out there that just wants to say, "Hi," and be your friend.

Sometimes just being in community and knowing that someone is there to talk to you, be with you can be the very support that you need and are requiring in your life. Oftentimes, people think that if I just do this alone, it will get done quicker. And that's just so not true. I love talking things out with people. I often find that when I talk things out, I can come up with a solution ten times quicker.

I want to encourage you to figure out who can support you in the area that you identified earlier because you deserve to have that support in your life. I also want to encourage you to look at where you might be holding yourself back in your life. Where are you the bottleneck in your life? Do you keep saying that you're going to get something done and you haven't? Get really real. Why are you not getting it done? Why? Maybe because you're scared of what will happen if you do get it done.

Maybe you realize that you don't have the tools to get it done and finding someone to support you in getting those tools would be crucial and beneficial. Sometimes we're so scared of the very thing that we have to get done that we end up freezing or avoiding. And I want to encourage you to just rip the bandaid off, my dear. Rip the bandaid off. Because the quicker you rip that bandaid off and get honest with yourself on who and what can support you in doing the very thing that you're wanting to get done, you're going to feel so much lighter, so much more grounded, and you're going to start having that momentum to be moving forward.

And we want to work with momentum. Flow. This is called flow; being in flow. And when we lean into support and support could just be simply God, leaning into God, leading into Jesus leaning into the divine. When we lean into that support system we are held in a different container of love. It's not the container: "I'll do it by myself. I got this. I'm okay." You're not alone. You're not alone. The universe will support you. And when you lean into that container, the universe will go, "here's an option, here's an option, here's an option, here's an option." And I love doing this.

And one of the things that I knew recently, I was like, we really need to hire someone new. And I kept getting this download, this intuitive hit that I knew someone in the car business. I used to work in the car business. So I always thought that this download was for someone that I already worked with. And so I kept getting this download, kept getting this download, and when I was getting the download. I just kept keeping the download very narrow instead of allowing it to be open and expansive as possible, as wide as possible. And the download was that I knew someone in the car business that would want to be on our team. And so I kept getting that it would be like an office person or something like that.

And the second I actually just kind of sat with it and let go of my expectations of what I thought that was versus what the universe was trying to tell me, it became very obvious and very clear. And what was clear is I did know someone in the car business that knew someone that would love to be on our team, even though she didn't know it at the time. But I knew someone who was a client that actually worked in the car business, a client of mine that worked in the car business.

And I reached out to her and I said, 'hey, I'm getting this download that you might know, someone that would be interested in working with us. We're looking to hire someone that can help us with XYZ. And she immediately responded back and said, I do know someone and she connected with us and she's been on our team and we love her. She fits right in. It was like perfect. And it's because I listened to the Intuitive guidance that I had around the support that we were needing. And this person, actually that we ended up hiring fills so many gaps of where I was wanting to have and receive support that I didn't even realize at the time of hiring her.

And so I'm just always in awe like how the universe will support you even as clear as you want to be, and the clearer you can be it becomes a little easier. But I want to just say this. Just know that when you say and I'll often say this to God, I'll be like, "God, I don't got this. You got to get me on this. Help me with this, because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know. So please help me. I surrender to the process. Please help me." And I'll often find that the answer to the question I have or the problem that I have will arise just by giving it back over to God. And it's just really neat to watch that process unfold.

The other thing I want to just mention also is, are you willing to receive that support? Because if you are, many things will open up for you. If you're not, you have to be willing to look at why are you not willing to receive that support? What are you afraid will happen if you allow that support to come in? Because you might realize that you're afraid of change or you're afraid that you might not be in the same sphere of influence. Or you might be afraid of something that you didn't even realize you were afraid of. And there's so many seals that can be attached to receiving support.

And it could also be that you don't feel safe when someone supports you. Because anytime anybody has ever supported you that we're supposed to support you, they failed you. And so what would make this different, right? And so one of the things that I want to just encourage you in general to do is look at those fears. Because if you look at those fears then you can actually start peeling back the fears and addressing them head on so that you can receive the support that you are meant to receive. And when you do receive that support, all the little helpers, the fairies are going to show up and start supporting you in your life in the areas that you want to be supported in.

And remember, it's not just little things that people can support you in. That's nice if you can find someone to help you clean your house, that's nice If you can find someone for child care. Those are all wonderful things. But you actually might manifest a friend that can support you in feeling like you deserve something more. You might manifest a new job that can support you in taking a family vacation that you've always wanted to take. Remember, support can come in many different ways. So allow your heart to be open to receiving in unexpected ways. And don't create tunnel vision in your manifesting efforts around the support that you will receive because the support that can come through will blow your mind. It really will.

So let me end with this quote. "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mom would say to me look for the helpers. You will always find people who are willing to help."
Look for your helpers, my friends. You deserve to have support and they will help you through the scary things. They will help you through change. They will assist you in evolving.

I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Remember to like subscribe and share it with a friend. It means the world to me and it helps more than you know. Alright, guys. Namaste. Have a blessed day. Bye.

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